


Better Love

by Snow_Falls



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fae, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Fae & Fairies, Fairy Tale Elements, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Gun Violence, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know how to tag for this but, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Magic, Mild Sexual Content, Modern day fantasy AU, Mutual Pining, Non-Graphic Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, boys being soft, no descriptions of abuse, reference to Ash's past, that feeling you get when someone you don't want to touch you touches you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-10-12 22:45:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 56,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17476373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snow_Falls/pseuds/Snow_Falls
Summary: Golzine has something on Ash and he uses it to spirit him away. Cut off from his gang, from the city he knows like the back of his hand, Ash meets a curious young man who soon becomes a fixture in his life. The young man, Eiji, is like fire in a snowstorm, and meeting him reminds Ash that the can't give up, he has to fight back.Or, modern day urban fantasy.





	1. Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Well, well, well, looks like another dumb AU has me firmly in its grasp. There are like, two other fantasy AUs I want to write, and have started on, but who knows if they'll ever be done ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Have I mentioned yet that I love Hozier? Because I do. He is a scholar and a poet, and I'm afraid I'll let him do the heavy lifting again when it comes to titles. Yes, this fic is named after his beautiful song [Better Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNIVJuI4X4I), please listen to it, it's poetry. 
> 
> I hope you like this!

I once kneeled in shaking thrill  
I chase the memory of it still  
Of every chill **  
**

-"Better Love" Hozier

 

Ash looked steadily ahead. He was sitting; the armchair was luxuriously plush, big enough too for someone of his size or smaller to sit with him. He felt the fibres under his fingers, let it take the weight of his back, and though he affected the appearance of it, he wasn’t as relaxed as the armchair invited, or as he seemed.

He was looking at the wallpaper, it was floral and lined up in such a way that the seam almost wasn’t noticeable. There was care taken in lining up the small white flowers, their petals delicate, and the stems pale green, beautiful like all fresh cut flowers. If they were real, Ash thought, they would probably wither and die in a few short days, their beauty was in their fragility; one wrong move and they would be crushed.

The man standing next to him kept talking to Ash, and he was paying attention, in some way, his brain was processing the words, but his mind, his self, was so far away he almost didn’t hear a single word spoken. When smooth fingertips slid through the ends of his hair and down his neck, Ash didn’t flinch, he didn’t shudder, he just looked ahead. And when Golzine asked him to, “Look at me, sweetheart.” Ash turned his head, but he didn’t see the cruel selfish man who held him like a possession. He saw the lovely wallpaper, and he bided his time.

*

The first place Ash went when he was able to leave the house was the sea. It was close enough to the house that Ash could walk there, and of course, after everything that had happened, Golzine didn’t bother to put a guard on him. He didn’t think Ash would throw himself into the sea in a desperate bid to escape, he knew he had him, and he was right. So, Golzine let him go, like a domesticated house cat, he knew Ash would come back when it got too late; he may chase birds in the street during the day, but he knew to come back at night to his owner.

The breeze this close to the water was refreshing. Ash briefly closed his eyes as he made his way along the shore. It was early, the sun was still rising, and the white shirt he wore wasn’t enough to keep the chill at bay, but Ash didn't mind, even welcomed the feel of cool air running along the skin of his bare forearms.

As he was walking he stepped on a rock that lodged itself into the grooves of his shoe. Ash paused a moment to take it out, and when he looked up again there was someone standing just ahead of him. He didn’t startle, but he was surprised. Ash looked carefully around the beach, there really wasn’t anywhere that person could have been hiding, the sightline was clear for miles. He frowned, was it possible he just hadn’t noticed him while he was lost in thought?

Ash kept walking, a little more slowly this time, cautiously watching the figure ahead of him. A young man he realized. He was wearing a bright turquoise sweater and jeans, and he was holding something in his hands, a camera, Ash saw, as he got closer.

The young man moved, he stretched, arms above his head, back arching slightly, staggering back a little, and something that caught the light spilled from his pocket. When Ash was close enough, he bent down to pick it up; it was a small silver necklace with a flower pendant, a lotus, Ash thought.

The young man turned to look at him as Ash extended his hand, “You dropped this,” Ash said.

Ash got his first good look at the young man. His dark hair was tousled and fell just over his eyebrows, his eyes were a warm brown, he had a kind expression, and he looked younger up close.

The young man looked down at Ash’s hand and when he saw the silver chain he looked back up at Ash’s face in surprise, and then he smiled.

“I dropped this?”

Ash nodded, as he gave the necklace back. The boy had a faint accent he couldn’t place. 

“Thank you.” The boy said, still smiling.

Maybe it was the light of the rising sun bringing out the red tones of his hair, or the way the light glimmered on his skin, but there was something about him that was just _warm_. It was as strange as it was compelling, he was not particularly attractive, Ash would say he was terribly average looking, but there was something –

“Look!” The young man was pointing to the horizon. The sky was bathed in reds and yellows, the water caught the light, reflecting colours that shone, and the boy lifted his camera and began to take pictures.

After a moment, when the colours faded and the sky was blue, and white, the way it would stay until the sun set, the boy turned back to him, still smiling.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Ash nodded.

“I’ve never seen you here before, are you on vacation?”

“You could say that.”

The boy nodded. There was a moment of silence before the boy spoke again.

“Thank you again,” he gestured to his pocket where the necklace was once again stowed. Ash wanted to tell him to be more careful with his things, but said nothing instead. “I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost that.” A pause. And then the boy casually reached over and plucked a white flower petal out of Ash’s hair. Ash looked at him in utter surprise, he hadn’t moved at all to avoid the contact when this stranger reached out to touch him. Every alarm bell in his mind went off at the same time the boy said, “There, much better. Now you can enjoy your day.” He smiled again, “I’ll see you around.” Waved, turned, and left.

Ash watched him go with an odd mix of feelings. He reached up and touched the spot the boy took the petal from his hair. He remembered the wallpaper, and thought back to the path he took to get to the beach, it was grassy and wooded, but there were no white flowers he could remember seeing.

 

 

“Things seem to be running smoothly, though I may have you look at some reports just to double check.”

The fork Ash raised to his mouth paused, “Yes,” he said, and then forced himself to eat. Ash had barely eaten a quarter of his food, and he already felt like he was at his threshold. Golzine’s plate was almost clean, and Ash chewed the same bite for as long as he could without attracting attention. Yesterday he was scolded for not eating enough; he hardly took two mouthfuls before he almost threw up, and put his food right back on the plate. Golzine hadn’t been pleased; Ash had the bruises to prove it.

“I heard you went to the beach today, quite a sight, isn’t it?” Golzine said, before he took a sip of wine, at his ease, untroubled by what he had done and continued to do.

“Yes,” Ash said.

“I thought you would appreciate it. This is for you, you understand? I’m not unfeeling you see, Ash. I knew you would like it here.” He dabbed at his mouth with a fine linen napkin and stood. Ash automatically braced himself. Golzine moved to stand behind him as he continued. “Places like this, houses like this,” his fingers in Ash’s hair. “The finest cuisine, the most talented chiefs,” a big hand cupped the side of Ash's jaw, “all of it is mine, and I’ll share everything with you, Ash. It’s not Hell I offer you, but Heaven. Do you see?”

“Yes,” Ash said in the exact same tone.

Golzine’s grip tightened on his jaw, and then suddenly relaxed; he removed his hand. Ash didn’t turn his head, but he knew something was wrong. And, as he realized that, he heard a loud gurgling sound. Surprised, this time Ash did turn. Golzine had taken a few steps back, his face was red, and his arm was over his middle. The sound came again, and the red colour intensified. They looked at each other for a moment before Golzine turned and abruptly left the room. 

Ash turned back to the table, alone in the room now, and calmly drank the rest of his glass of water.

On his way to his room Ash saw maids scurry down the hall, one carrying a bag obviously from a pharmacy, and the other wheeling a small cart with a tea set.

When Ash was safely in the confines of his room, he sat on his bed, and laughed. The look on Golzine’s face was priceless, the mighty Golzine, powerful underworld crime lord brought down by indigestion. Ash laughed again and wondered what it was that made him sick, maybe it was something he ate before dinner, since Ash had almost everything Golzine had, just much smaller portions. Either way, at least he was too busy being sick to request anything of Ash that night.

Ash lied back on his bed still fully clothed and closed his eyes. He was surprised to see the first thing that came into his head was an image of that strange young man bathed in the light from the sun. He opened his eyes; maybe he would go to the beach again tomorrow.


	2. White Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's funny to start these two at square one again. But, it's also kind of nice to watch them grow.
> 
> Please enjoy chapter 2!

“Hello.”

Ash turned only slightly at the voice that greeted him.

It was midday, much warmer than it had been at sunrise the day before. Summer hadn’t hit its stride quite yet, and it would only get warmer as the dayswento by. The young man wasn’t wearing the same sweater from the day before, but he was wearing a t-shirt of that exact same colour. That suited him, it seemed to bring out the brown in the young man’s eyes, the lovely warm tone of his skin.

Ash nodded at the boy but didn’t say anything.

The boy sat himself next to Ash on the sand; he was close enough to touch, but far enough away that it wouldn’t happen by accident.

“Have you been here before?”

Ash shook his head; he picked up sand and ran it through his fingers.

There was a pause. It was not exactly uncomfortable, but Ash could feel the young man trying to say something. He waited.

“Thank you again, for yesterday. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost that necklace, it’s very important to me. It would have been terrible to lose it.”

Ash turned toward him now, looking at him full in the face.

“You should be more careful with your things, kid.”

The boy’s eyes widened almost comically in surprise.

“I am not a ‘kid’!” He protested, indignant.

Ash raised his eyebrows. “Kids are always careless with their things.”

The young man sputtered. “You are very rude, I was only trying to thank you!”

His cheeks were a light pink, and the accent Ash first picked up on the day before was stronger now. The corner of Ash’s mouth twitched.

“How old are you? Fourteen, fifteen?”

“Twenty!”

Ash really was surprised now. He hadn’t actually thought the young man was fourteen, he thought maybe sixteen or so, but definitely not _older_ than Ash.

The boy must have caught the look on his face because he leaned in and asked. “How old are _you_?”

Ash did smile now. “Eighteen.”

“I am older than you!” The young man said with a mix of frustration and triumph.

Ash laughed, and it surprises both of them.

“You’re kind of weird, huh?”

The boy glared at him, and Ash chuckled. “Sorry, sorry, I guess I should respect my elders.”

There was a silence in which Ash could practically feel the boy furiously trying to think of a good retort. When it stretched thin, Ash thought maybe he went one too far. The boy stood, and he felt a slight pang of regret thinking he would leave.

But, the boy didn't go. Instead he extended his hand and offered Ash something. Ash took it; it was a smooth flat stone. He looked up at the boy questioningly.

“Can you skip stones?”

Ash nodded, a little bemused, what a strange person, he thought. Ash stood up, he brushed off the sand, and saw that the boy was holding another stone like the one he gave Ash.

“Whoever can make the stone skip the most wins.”

“Wins what?”

The young man smiled a little, and it was shy. “Will you let me take your picture?”

It seemed this boy knew only how to take Ash by surprise, because he hadn’t been expecting that.

“Are you in photography or something?”

“You could say that.”

Ash ran his thumb along the stone and then carefully weighed it in his hand.

“What does that mean?”

The boy shrugged, “It’s for a project of mine.”

Ash tossed the stone in his hand and then caught it. “What kind of project?”

“The theme is: the beauty of nature.”

Ash gave him a look, but the boy wasn’t looking at him anymore, he was looking at the water. It almost sounded like a pickup line, indirectly calling him beautiful. But, the way the boy said it made it sound like something else, a simple observation, a fact; water is wet, and the sun is hot.

“So you’re taking pictures of people? How does that fit your theme?”

“Why not? Humans are part of nature, aren’t they?”

That was an interesting perspective, Ash thought, but didn’t say it. Instead he said, “Fine.” A slight pause. “What if I win?”

Now the boy did look at him, he was smiling that shy smile. “ _If_.”

Ash smiled too, and then turned back to the water and tossed the stone. They counted out loud together; it skipped five times. Smug, Ash crossed his arms and waited for the boy to go. He seemed to consider the stone in his hand a moment; he took a breath, and then threw.

One – two – three – four – five – six.

The boy turned to Ash beaming. Ash didn’t know if he was impressed or annoyed that the boy beat him. Maybe a little of both.

“I look forward to working with you,” he said as he dusted off his hands. He looked at his watch, “I should get going – oh!” He extended his hand to Ash then, light colour in his cheeks again. “I didn’t introduce myself, I’m Eiji.”

Ash looked at his hand for all of one second before he reached out and took it. “Ash,” he said. The young man bowed a little as he let go of Ash’s hand.

“Ash.” Eiji repeated, his name sounded different coming from Eiji, his slight accent almost making it sound like it has another syllable, another meaning. “Will you come tomorrow?”

“Yeah.

“Same time?”

Ash nodded.

Eiji smiled at him again, and then reached out like he did the day before and pulled another white flower petal from Ash’s hair. “Do you walk through a garden?” He asked; sounding amused. He didn’t wait for Ash to answer; he was already starting to turn and waved before he went.

Ash watched him leave once more. He resisted the urge to touch the spot Eiji took the petal from. 

That night Golzine excused himself before he was finished eating. He was rubbing his temples and had the rest of his meal served to him in his room. Ash managed to eat about a quarter of his meal before he had to stop. He drank lots of water to try and compensate but he could feel his body weakening. He didn’t know how much longer he would be able to subsist like that.

That night was peaceful enough, just like the last, Ash wasn’t called to do anything. The bruises high on his arms and on his ribs were fading, he was careful not to look at them as he changed for bed. Ash went out to the window in his room, there was a small balcony, and Ash leaned on the balustrade. He took a deep breath, the smell of salt water came to him, and Ash almost smiled.

 

 

The next day Ash found Eiji a little further down the beach, they were closer to an outcropping of rocks, if they kept going they would get to caves that emptyed and flooded as the tide left and then came in during the day. Eiji was sitting on a large rock a little ways from the outcropping; he had a few things with him this time, a camera bag over his shoulder, and a backpack at his feet. He was wearing a white t-shirt this time and it said, ‘FISHBONE’ across the front.

He smiled at Ash as he approached, squinting a little in the bright sun.

“Hello, Ash.”

“Hey.”

There was a slight pause before Eiji picked up his bag and pushed off the rock he was sitting on.

“Shall we get started?”

Ash nodded. That morning when he got ready he had spent a few minutes debating what to wear. How should he dress? He didn’t ask and Eiji didn’t say. Was he supposed to play into Eiji’s theme? But if he needed to look a certain way, surely Eiji would have said something. In the end Ash had mentally scolded himself for being an idiot and making a fuss for no reason. He had picked out a plain white shirt, tied his plaid long-sleeve shirt around his waist, and worn a pair of clean jeans. If Eiji didn’t like it, he could get a new model.

But Eiji didn’t comment on his outfit, he seemed excited at the prospect of any picture.

“Before we get started,” Ash said, as Eiji took out his camera. He paused, and looked up at Ash expectantly. “You can take my picture, but it can’t be of my face. Especially if this is going to be seen by other people, you can’t include my face in them.”

Eiji frowned a little, but he nodded. “Okay.”

Ash nodded too. Eiji stood and slung the camera strap around his neck. He had Ash sit on the rock he had previously been using himself; first he took pictures of Ash in profile against the sun so he was a silhouette, then facing away from the camera, then with the light. He made Ash change poses, leaning against his elbows, leaning back on his hands, standing, pretending to walk, actually walking.

“Relax your hands, please, yes like that.”

Ash opened his hands, held them loose at his sides. “Don’t you think it’s a little contradictory to take my picture while giving me all these instructions, and then saying it’s ‘natural’?”

Eiji’s brow furrowed, he looked at Ash over his camera.

“And, if you’re doing a project about nature, shouldn’t you have nude models?”

Eiji blushed instantly; a very becoming flush spread across his cheeks and down his neck.

“I am not –! I would not –!“ He sputterd, his words coming out heavily accented.

Ash laughed. He leaned against the rock he was previously sitting on and heard the shutter of Eiji’s camera. He had closed his eyes in laughter, when he opened them he saw Eiji giving him a sheepish look.

“Sorry, I know you said – I’ll delete it, I promise! It’s just, your laughing face – “ He walked over to Ash and showed him the screen. “Look.”

Ash hadn’t laughed like that since before he came to that place. Since before Golzine managed to catch him in his snare. Ash almost expected to see an embodiment of his captivity in the picture, the spectre of his past manifested, like a black cloud surrounding him, engulfing him. But, there was no such thing in the picture, it was bright in the sunlight, and he looked like a carefree young man.

He saw Eiji select the delete option.

“Wait.”

Eiji paused and looked at him.

“You can keep it.”

“Really?” Eiji looked at the picture and then back at Ash. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Ash said against his better judgment. He didn’t know why, but he wanted Eiji to have that picture. He wanted some record of himself that didn’t belong to Golzine and men like him to exist outside in the world. He wanted that care free young man in the picture to live in a world where people like Eiji would see him as a person and not a thing.

“I won’t show anyone,” Eiji promised, and Ash believed him. He nodded, and Eiji smiled. “Are you hungry?” He asked after a short moment.

Ash shrugged a little by way of answer, but Eiji seemed to take that as a yes, because he was packing away the camera and rummaging in his backpack. He took out a slightly threadbare blanket and carefully spread it out on the sand. Ash helped straighten the blanket out without prompting, and Eiji smiled gratefully at him. They sat and Eiji took out containers and bottles of water from his bag. He set one of each in front of Ash and passed him a set of chopsticks. They sat cross-legged in front of each other and when Ash didn’t pick up any of the things Eiji set in front of him, Eiji looked at him questioningly.

“You aren’t hungry?” He glanced down at the food. “Or are you vegetarian or something? Sorry, this is all they had in the store.”

“No, it’s – “ Ash looked at the plastic container in front of him, it was a store made bento. Rice, chicken, and a small salad, it was simple and small and suddenly Ash _was_ hungry. “Nothing, it’s fine.” He picked up the chopsticks and split them expertly, he caught Eiji’s eye. “Thank you.”

Eiji smiled and looked away, he nodded, and they ate in silence for a moment.

Ash was the one who broke it, with something he had been wondering since he first saw Eiji. “Why is this beach always so empty?”

Eiji swallowed before he answered. “It’s not well known and it’s technically not open to the public, exactly. It’s also really out of the way to get here, and cut off by the rocks on both sides, so not many people even bother to try and come here.”

“Technically, huh?” Ash said a little dryly. He was teasing Eiji, but he was worried. He might try to get information about this place from Golzine later; he didn’t want Eiji hurt because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Eiji shrugged. “It’s fine, I’m tougher than I look.”

Ash smiled, but said nothing.

“I am!” Eiji insisted obviously seeing something in Ash’s expression. Ash held up his hands placating, and the corner of Eiji’s mouth quirked up.

“Are you from here?” Eiji asked.

Ash shook his head. “No, I’m from – “ And he told him. It was only after he’d explained that he grew up in Cape Cod and then moved to New York, and finally ended up there that he realized he hadn’t hesitated to tell Eiji everything. Of course, he had left out his involvement in the underworld, but there was something about Eiji that put Ash at ease, and it was strange that that in turn made him uneasy. The fact that his guard didn’t go up around someone he just met put Ash at odds; this was new for him.

Eiji listened intently, the way he asked questions made Ash feel like he was truly interested in the answer. He wanted to know these things about Ash, and Ash wanted to tell him.

“What about you, where are you from?”

“Japan, Izumo, specifically. I came here when I was much younger. I – “ Eiji paused and put down his chopsticks, he reached for the bottle of water but didn’t open it, just played with it in his hands as he considered his words. “I’ve wanted to go back home for some time but there’s something – “ Eiji shook his head and glanced at Ash. “Do you believe in fate?”

Ash looked at him. “What?”

Eiji leaned forward just a little. “Fate. Destiny. _Hitsuzen_.”

Ash didn’t know that last word, but he could guess from context. He was a little taken aback by the sudden change in topic but he took a moment to think before he eventually shook his head. “No,” he said firmly. He watched Eiji’s shoulders drop a little, and he leaned back again. “I don’t. I think we make our own decisions, and everything else is just accident or coincidence.”

Eiji regarded him for a moment and then smiled just a little, his eyebrows drawn together almost as if in pain. “I see.” He began to collect his empty container and put a hand out for Ash’s, “Done? I’ll throw it out.” Ash looked down at his own completely empty container, he nodded and watched Eiji collect the garbage.

When he came back Eiji took out his camera and sat next to Ash. They looked through the pictures together and Ash watched in amusement at the faces Eiji made as he critiqued his own work. He was expressive, his emotions sat plainly on his face, and when he caught Ash looking at him he just laughed, a little sheepishly.

“I can do better, can we try again?”

“Sure.”

“How about sunset? Tomorrow?”

Ash hesitated. He hadn’t been told explicitly to be back before it got dark, but he understood that was what was expected of him. He looked at Eiji patiently waiting for his answer.

“Okay.”

Eiji smiled brightly, and Ash smiled too.

After they had packed up all of Eiji’s things they walked back for a minute together before they have to go their separate ways. Eiji took the path that led back into town, and Ash went through the wooded area that gave way to Golzine’s property.

“Until tomorrow then, oh – “ this time Ash was half expecting it. Eiji reached out and pulled a white flower petal, not from his hair, but from the sleeve of Ash’s shirt. He smiled at Ash, waved, and left.

As Ash walked back toward the house he saw a white flower on the side of the path he took every time he came to the beach. He took a moment to look around, there were a few young trees lining the path, and he looked around those, but it was just the one flower. It looked completely intact, and Ash would almost bet anything it hadn't been there before. He crouched down and carefully examined the flower. The petals did look exactly like the ones Eiji kept finding on him. He brushed careful fingers over it, stood, and continued on his way.

That night, it seemed like simple overtiredness made Golzine excuse himself early. Ash managed to ask about the property, but Golzine only said something about not quite remembering before he left Ash once again alone in the dinning room. Ash picked at his food after Golzine left, he hadn’t managed to eat any more than the previous day, but he felt better than he had in a while.

In his room Ash got ready for bed and looked forward to seeing Eiji the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [tumblr](nightofviolet.tumblr.com) everyone's least fave hell site =)


	3. Dreams

Ash left the house as quietly as possible. He made his way out dressed in the same plain clothes as before, but now he had his leather jacket tucked under his arm. The guards Golzine had posted didn’t notice him, they were all second rate, and Ash could probably trip over their feet and they still wouldn’t realize he was sneaking out.

The sun hadn’t begun to set yet, but around this time was usually when Ash was making his way back to the house. As he walked down to the beach a small patch of white caught his eye. The white flower from the day before, except now there are two. Ash made a mental note to look up what kind it was as he kept going.

He saw Eiji was already there; he had his camera bag and waved at Ash as he approached.

“Hi,” Eiji greeted and then spotted the jacket Ash was carrying. He smiled at Ash and nodded to the jacket, “Will you put that on?”

“Yeah.”

Eiji grinned, “Cool.”

Ash didn’t know why, but he laughed. He shook his head at Eiji and they both sat as Eiji unpacked his things, and they waited for the sun to start setting.

“Same kind of stuff today?” Ash asked as Eiji looked through the lens he brought.

“Hmm, yes, I think so, if it’s okay.” Eiji glanced up at him, “You seem to have a good sense for the camera, and what angles look good, have you modeled before?”

Brief flashes of cameras pointed at him, hands touching him, crossed Ash’s mind. “...No.”

“Then you’re a... _natural_.” Eiji said, and looked at him expectantly. Ash refused to laugh, instead he bumped Eiji’s shoulder with his own as Eiji laughed at his own joke.

They waited for the sun to go down, Eiji made one or two comments on the lighting and the colours it brought out, but otherwise they were quiet. It was surprisingly comfortable; Ash took a deep breath and felt some of the tension in his shoulders ease.

When it was almost time to start shooting they stood. Ash put on the jacket and followed Eiji’s instructions. The wind picked up and threw Ash’s hair into his face, it threw a plastic bag into Eiji’s, and it was a whole minute before Ash could stop laughing. They took off their shoes and socks, quickly rolled up their jeans, and went into the water. Ash looked toward the horizon as instructed, and after he heard the shutter go off a few times he felt cold water hit his neck and run down his back. He turned and Eiji was laughing, Ash made to spray him back but Eiji held out his camera.

“You wouldn’t.” Eiji was still smiling, but there was a hint of real panic in his eyes. Ash wouldn’t, but he was almost tempted to anyway. He gave Eiji a look, and the pictures continued. His jacket was off and tied around his waist, when the sun had almost completely set they waded out, Eiji put his camera back but Ash stayed in the water.

“What is it?” Eiji turned back to him.

“I think I dropped something.” Ash frowned and peered down at the knee high water in the fading light.

“Oh.” Eiji came back and carefully watched the ground as he went. “What was it?”

Ash didn’t hesitate. He cupped his hands and sprayed Eiji’s side with water.

Eiji looked at him in shock, he was dripping, and then they both were smiling, and then they were laughing. They chased each other through the shallow water trying to retaliate, they both avoided hitting each other in the face, salt water being unpleasant for eyes, but their clothes were soaked through, and the tips of their hair dripped water. Eiji tripped when the tide came in and Ash caught him. They looked at each other still laughing. Eiji’s eyes sparkled in the dim light; his eyelashes were long and dark.

The breeze picked up and they both shiveedr. Ash let go of him, “We should go back,” he said. Eiji nodded. It was dark, and the stars were coming out, the glow from their light reflected off the water, it was beautiful, and Ash wished he could stay, almost said that aloud.

They had nothing to dry off with, and Eiji did his best to wring out his clothes before he picked up his camera bag. He was still smiling when he turned back to Ash though.

“Thanks for coming out today.”

“Of course. You did win, after all.”

“True,” Eiji said. “But, still, thank you.”

They both paused. Ash thought Eiji might say something else, something more, he almost wanted to say something too, but he didn’t know what. The moment passed though, and instead Eiji said simply, “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Ash nodded. He didn’t think about the fact that Eiji had already taken it as a given they would see each other again; he didn’t consider the fact that he did too.

He made it back to his room without encountering anyone, getting by the guards was cake. Ash just managed to pull on a pair of sleep pants over his damp hips, his wet clothes a heap on the bathroom floor, when the door burst open. It was Golzine, and he looked furious.

“Where were you?” He demanded, his voice was raised only slightly; he seemed to be making an effort not to lose his temper completely.

“Out,” Ash said flatly.

He knew it was a mistake even as he said it. He knew better, but he still had the scent of salt water on his skin, he could feel the water dripping off him, could hear the sound of Eiji’s laughter, and see his face light up when he smiled. It made him brave, reckless, greedy, he didn’t care what happened to him, he could still smell the scent of the sea. He made a decision just as Golzine’s hands closed over his arms.

 

 

A maid brought him breakfast in bed the next day; Ash couldn’t bear to eat a single bite. He just managed to take a drink of water before he felt like he might be sick. The maid fretted and tried to coax him into eating, Ash just looked at her until she suggested a bath instead.

He sunk into the hot water, Epsom salts were added, and it hurt almost as much as it helped at first. Ash's body ached all over; blue and purple bruises littered his skin. Ash pulled his knees up and leaned his forehead on them. He didn’t think of anything as he sat there, his mind was blank, he was nowhere at all as the water slowly cooled around him.

It wa only at the maid’s gentle coaxing that Ash finally got out. The water was cold and Ash’s skin had wrinkled, but that didn’t matter to him. He didn’t wince as he stood up and got out of the bath; he ignored the pain and pushed through the stiffness in his body. The maid was with him the whole time, she didn’t touch him, and for that he was grateful, she handed him a towel and a bathrobe. Ash accepted both and when he was dried off and wrapped in the bathrobe he hobbled into his room and slept.

Ash slept for a very long while. He didn’t know how much time passed. He woke up, for minutes at a time, sometimes the maid from before was with him, sometimes it was her and a guard, sometimes no one, and sometimes Golzine. It didn’t matter, Ash wasn’t awake long enough to care.

While he slept, he dreamed. Ash dreamed of his childhood. He was back in Cape Cod with his brother, they played tag in the house, they ran around outside, Griffin taught Ash to swim, he helped him with homework, he read to him at night, and they slept together on the couch when they couldn’t keep their eyes open anymore. It was wonderful; Ash wanted to stay there forever.

He was in the kitchen, when Griffin called him. Ash went to look for him in their basement, but it wasn't _their_ basement, it was –

The world was dark, he was crying, curled up on the cold ground, his ears were ringing and his body hurt. He couldn’t see anything, but he was alone, and though he should have been glad no one was there to harm him he was afraid. He was sobbing, his shoulders shook and he couldn’t seem to stop. Time passed, and he grew colder as tears ran endlessly down his face.

“Ash.”

A soft voice. At first Ash wasn’t sure he had heard it. He though it was the wind. But, there it was again.

“Ash.”

This time he heard something in the way his name was said that tugged at his memory. He lifted his head, and wiped at his tired eyes. It was still dark and he couldn’t see anything. Ash listened hard, tense, waiting.

“Ash.”

Closer that time, Ash turned his head in the direction he thought the voice came from. He recognized that voice but he couldn’t remember who it belonged to.

“Ash, wake up.”

He could smell salt water. His name sounded almost like there are two syllables to it.

“Ash, please, wake up.”

 

 

It felt like he was wading through molasses, each step cost him something, as he struggled through the thick fog in his mind as he woke. It took so much effort; he almost gave up. It would be easier to let go, but he heard the echo of his name called, and he kept pushing.

He became aware of the room around him by degrees. The feel of his head laying on the pillow, the feel of the sheets under his fingers, light on his closed eyelids, something pinching his arm. Ash opened his eyes slowly, blinking hard as he adjusted to the light. His eyes stung, as he took in the full light of midday. He heard a surprised little “Oh!” from the corner of the room, and the light dimmed. Ash squinted at the figure; it was the same maid from before. She was probably not much older than Ash, dark hair, dark skin, brown eyes that caught the remaining light and reminded Ash of another pair of brown eyes.

“You’re awake,” she said quietly, and hurried to get him water. She was stronger than she looked, she managed to manoeuvre Ash so he was sitting up, she handled him the way a trained nurse would, and Ash wondered how she ended up there, her demeanour wasn’t that of someone employed in their position of choice. Ash groaned a little as he was propped up, he took a sip of water from the cup she held for him, and felt his stomach roil.

“You need to drink water,” she said. Ash looked at her, she was wearing a name tag that said, ‘Alba.’

“How long was I out?” Ash’s voice rasped, he tried to clear his throat, his mouth was so dry though it was as if he hadn’t.

Alba put the cup of water in Ash’s hand, he tested his grip, it was weak, much weaker than he was comfortable with while he was in the house of an enemy. He considered the cup of water as Alba walked over to the IV drip he was hooked up to. That explained the pinch he felt in his arm, Ash wasn’t a fan of needles, but he wasn’t surprised it came to this.

“A few days.” She said; when she saw his look she clarified. “Four.” Alba went back to the windows and carefully pushed back one of the curtains a little so more light came in, Ash blinked, but he wasn’t almost blinded like he was when he first came to. “I’m going to the kitchen, I’ll get you some soup, is there any kind you want? Something in particular to drink?”

Ash didn’t want anything, that was the problem. He just shrugged. Alba pursed her lips but didn’t say anything, when she was at the door she paused and turned to him. “He’s not here.” Ash looked at her. “Golzine, someone will tell him you’re awake, of course, he may call you later, but he’s not here. I don’t think he’ll return until some time next week.”

Ash nodded, the barest movement of his head, she gave him the hint of a smile, and then slipped out the door. Ash leaned back on the pillows. He closed his eyes and sighed. He heard the water in his cup splash, looked down, and he realized that he was shaking. He used both hands to place the cup on his bedside table, still shaking, relief, he realized, he had already been braced for Golzine’s reappearance, his body responding automatically. Ash grit his teeth, he pushed away the memory of pain and abuse and took a deep breath. Just before all this had happened he had resolved on something, now he needed to take advantage of Golzine’s absence to recover, and then at his first opportunity, begin acting.

Alba came back with a tray, three different soup options, plain crackers, green tea, and more water. Ash raised his eyebrows at the assortment. She raised hers in return. They stared at each other until Ash finally said, “Well, what kind do you have?”

Alba did smile then, it was a kind expression, and the feeling that she was in Golzine’s employment not by choice deepened. She pulled up a chair by his bed, set the tray for him over his lap, and puts the chicken soup he selected on it. Ash’s grip on the spoon was weak and a little unsteady.

“Can I?” Alba gestured to the soup, Ash understood she was asking to feed him. His immediate response was ‘No,’ but he thought about what he was resolved to do and knew that meant he had to swallow his pride, and at least a few mouthfuls of soup in order to accomplish it. He nodded.

Alba was gentle and patient with him. She touched him only when she had to, and always signalled to him that she would before she did so. As someone who was used to people simply assuming permission to his person, Ash noticed this right away. They didn’t talk as he ate, and after he managed about a third of the soup and a couple of crackers, he had some of the tea, and then some water. Alba watched him with obvious approval. For a second it seemed like she might fight him about having more soup, but she cleared it away instead.

“I’m supposed to stay with you while you’re recovering,” she said, after another maid had come to clear away the soup and drinks. “Do you mind if we listen to music?” Ash didn’t know what he was expecting her to say after that first statement, but it wasn’t that. He just nodded, a little bemused, and watched as she took out a small speaker from the cupboard across the room, from her pocket she took out an iPod, plugged it in, and spent about a minute selecting a song. The first thing that played was something he’d never heard before. It was mellow, but upbeat at the same time, half way through Ash found himself nodding his head to the beat. Alba had taken out a ball of yarn and needles from the cupboard as well and sat by him knitting. It was a strange scene, almost domestic in a way he wasn’t used to, but Ash didn’t think she was a threat, at least not in that moment. He closed his eyes and listened to the music.

 

 

The days passed like this. The day after he woke, Alba helped him stand; she was dressed in scrubs now, and patiently assisted him in his day-to-day care. What he wanted to protest was her help in the bathroom. “I’ve got it.” Ash said braced against the sink.

Alba gave him a look. “Ash, you need help. I just want to help you.”

“No one ever ‘just’ wants anything from me.”

He expected to see pity, or sympathy, maybe even disgust from her. After all, she must know what he did -does- what he was, why he was there, and with Golzine. That wasn’t what he got however. Alba’s expression hardened, she looked at him steadily, and her gaze was like steel, unflinching.

“If I don’t help you, you’ll fall, and you’ll make a mess. I don’t want that, you don’t want that. If you want, don’t think of it as me helping you, but me doing my job.”

It was the no-nonsense manner she said this, and her determined look, that finally made Ash acquiesce. Alba being moved to help him from the goodness of her own heart was suspect, but just doing her job was something he could understand. Alba was matter of fact with him, she had a gentle manner, but when he pushed, she pushed back, and there was an air of professionalism about her that helped put him at ease. Once he had enough strength to do things on his own she waited outside of the bathroom for him, the door was always slightly ajar.

They walked down the halls together, Ash used a cane the first day, and at times leaned on Alba. As he managed a bit more of his food each day, still not able to have more than about half of anything, he was sturdier. After two days the cane was gone, his strength was almost completely back. Alba marveled at his quick recovery, but said he wouldn’t be back to normal for a few more days yet and not to push it.

Ash went to the library and was watched by two of the guards. A desktop sat in the corner of the room and he was absolutely forbidden from using it.

There was a book on plants, in the section for flowers he looked for the white ones he kept seeing. They are white camellia japonicas, he discovered. Popular in China and Japan the book informed him, Ash thought of Eiji, he remembered the easy way he had reached out and pulled petals from his hair. Ash never showed up like he said he would, he wondered if he would ever see Eiji again.

He had to speak to Golzine over video chat every night. Alba updated him on Ash’s health and then she left the room while they spoke. Ash did his best to toe the line. He couldn’t bring himself to act completely the way he knew Golzine wanted, like a content house cat, purring for his attentions and the things he could give Ash. But, he wasn’t curt; he tried to respond to questions in at least one sentence. Golzine, while not happy, seemed satisfied with him for now. He said he would be back in four days. Ash felt his spine tighten but showed no outward sign of his reaction.

Finally, five days after Ash woke up, he went back to the beach. He told himself it was just because he missed the feel of the salt air, the smell of the water, the warmth of the sun, but the way his heart beat and his stomach clenched when he saw Eiji told him something else entirely. Eiji was sitting against the large rock they used in their photo shoot; he was toying with something in his hands and looking out at the water. As Ash drew near he turned to look at him, the way Eiji’s face brightened the instant he saw Ash was something he would remember when he was old and grey.

Eiji stood so quickly he almost fell over.

“Ash!” Eiji moved to him, and it was with some surprise Ash was pulled into an embrace. It was brief, but Eiji held him tightly and he could hear him exhale next to his ear; it sounded like a sigh of relief.

Ash was about to lift his arms when Eiji drew back, and Ash watched the bright smile on Eiji’s face dim slightly.

“What happened?”

Ash thought he meant why he was gone, but Eiji lifted his hand, it hovered beside Ash’s face, next to his jaw where he knew a bruise was fading, now a sickly yellow. Ash reflexively took a step back. “Nothing,” he said, “just tripped, hit my face against the bannister.” It sounded like a lie even to Ash, it was cliché, and he knew Eiji didn’t buy it. He could see the urge to question him in the line of his brows drawn together, but Eiji didn’t push.

“I’m sorry.”

The way Eiji said it, full of feeling, surprised Ash. It sounded like he was apologizing for something he did, instead of simply expressing sympathy.

“It’s not your fault I tripped.” Ash said, keeping his tone light.

Eiji gave him a look, but then asked instead. “Does it still hurt?” 

Ash shook his head, “It’s fine, I didn’t even feel it at the time,” he said, cool and aloof, and this time, he thought, much more convincing.

Eiji nodded and then looked down at his feet before he brought his gaze back up. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to come again.” He gestured to the rock he was sitting by. “I thought if I waited here, maybe...” he trailed off, his cheeks a dull pink.

Ash scratched his head; he looked away. “There were just some things I had to do.” He saw Eiji nod from the corner of his eye. “But, I don’t think I can come here every day anymore.”

“Oh.” Eiji said in a small voice, he sounds defeated.

That tone did something funny to his stomach. “Every other day, though, should be okay. But, until Saturday, I can be here all day every day.”

He regretted saying that last bit in the following silence. He was suddenly aware of how eager he sounded.

But, Eiji was smiling, “Okay.” He said, “Want to swim?”

“Don’t know how,” he said. Ash did, but he thought about the state of his body, and he shook his head.

Eiji tilted his head slightly, “I’ll teach you.”

“It’s okay, the water’s properly still too cold anyway.”

There was a bit of an awkward silence until Eiji pulled something out from the pocket of his jeans and tossed it to him. It was a little bright green ball, the kind Ash used to get from the dentist’s office as a kid.

Eiji was smiling again, and he took a few steps back. They tossed the ball back and forth and started talking. Eiji told him more about the town Ash still hadn’t been in. He offered to show Ash around, and Ash wanted to accept, so he did, but he didn’t know when or if he would be able to go through with that. They talked about shows they watched when they were younger, they argued over which Power Ranger was the best, and which was the cutest. They admited to having crushes they didn’t realize were crushes at the time on the Green Ranger, Tommy Oliver. Ash laughed when Eiji confessed he used to play Power Rangers with friends and they would bully him into playing the Pink Ranger because no one else wanted to. “You’d make a cute Pink Ranger,” Ash said grinning, and Eiji blushed.

When they got tired they sat, and then they lay down. Ash told him about Cape Cod, and Eiji told him about Izumo. They spent the next three days like this. Ash managed to sneak out food for them in those days, Alba didn’t say anything to him, but he knew she knew what he was doing and covered for him. Ash had already charmed the kitchen staff, but having someone else collaborate with him made his position easier.

He and Eiji were lying in the sun and playing word games that tripped Eiji up and brought out his accent. Ash teased him, which made it more pronounced. He liked the way it sounded, and when he grinned at Eiji when his ‘l’ sounded suspiciously like an ‘r,’ he thought Eiji understood, because his eyes were bright, and when he hit Ash on the arm there was no sting to it.

“You are unfair Ash,” Eiji said in a huff. “Maybe you should try speaking Japanese, then you will see it is not so easy.”

Ash looked at him in interest. “Okay.”

“What?”

“I said okay.” They were lying beside each other in the sand, they wouldn’t be able to do that for much longer when the heat picked up and the sand started to burn. “Teach me.”

Eiji searched his face as if looking for a catch, but when he found none, he began to smile. “Okay,” he agreed.

They smiled at each other. Eiji’s skin was a warm brown, and his arms were surprisingly well muscled. He was probably stronger than Ash gave him credit for, and when Eiji lay on his side to look at him Ash’s gaze lingered on the swell of his bicep.

He had to sit up.

Eiji squinted up at him. “Do you like dogs?”

“What kind of question is that? Who doesn’t?”

Eiji laughed, he sat up too and Ash resisted the urge to brush the sand from his hair. “I’m dog sitting for a few days, I’ll bring her next time.”

“Okay!”

Eiji laughed at his response, and Ash was a little embarrassed about how enthusiastic he was, but he couldn’t help it.

“What kind of dog?”

“Akita.”

“Like Hachi?”

Eiji leaned forward; he was excited too. “You know Hachi?”

Ash rolled his eyes, “I’m American, but I’m not ignorant. And, don’t.”

He saw Eiji ready to pounce on that pronouncement, he laughed again. “There’s a statue for Hachi in Japan, it’s in Shibuya in Tokyo. I’ve always wanted to go.”

“You should.”

Eiji leaned back on his hands, he didn’t look at Ash when he said, “We should go together someday.”

There was a complicated feeling in Ash’s stomach at Eiji’s words. What he was suggesting was a dream, it was fantasy, their friendship, or whatever was between them felt fragile and like it couldn’t exist outside of the world that was just the two of them on that beach. He didn’t belong in the same world as Eiji. Eiji whose smile warmed Ash from the inside out, who said his name like it was lyrics in a song, poetry. It would be beyond foolish for him to entertain the possibility of that reality.

“Sure.”

Eiji kept looking at his lap, but he was smiling, and it made Ash’s heart ache.

“So, do I call you ‘ _sensei_ ’?”

Eiji punched Ash on the arm, and he laughed.

When Ash had to leave Eiji walked with him, they stopped where their paths diverged. They lingered. They talked about nothing like it had to be discussed then and not later.

Finally Ash said, “I should go.”

Eiji nodded. It was stupid that Ash should feel like this, he would see Eiji again soon enough. They looked at each other. Eiji reached up and Ash wasn’t surprised when his hand was in his hair, fingers sliding through strands and coming back with white petals. Eiji smiled a little, and there was something in it that made Ash think he was missing something, he was not in on whatever joke was making Eiji smile like that.

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah.”

Eiji waved, and was gone. Ash watched him go. As he walked back to the house he noticed there were more white flowers, and now they were on either side of the pathway.

When he came back Alba was waiting for him, she took the bag he carried food in and carefully stowed it away. She had never asked where he went or who he was with, but she took his things and made sure no one else saw them. It was a precarious trust they had between them, Ash was still wary of her, but he wanted to trust her completely, he just couldn’t afford to follow through, especially if he was wrong about her.

He didn’t even see Golzine that evening. There was food waiting for him, and a maid who said he would be dinning alone. Ash managed half his food and a bite of cake before he went back to his room. He washed sand and salt off his skin, and tried not to think of anything. He tried not to think of Eiji’s hair in the sunlight, or the way his eyes shone when he teased Ash, or how nice it would be to touch the curve of muscle on his arm –

He got out of the shower, and dressed for bed. Now that he was better, he was free to be alone in his room. He had all the amenities he needed, except razors. Alba brought him a disposal razor every day and watched as he shaved, and then took the razor back. There wasn't much need though, he couldn’t grow much facial hair. He wondered when it would grow in earnest, his brother could grow a full beard in a week.

When he managed to fall asleep his dreams were full of images he couldn’t make sense of. Two boys, one dark haired, the other light. They played together, the one with light hair, so fair it was almost white, tripped. He was on the edge of a cliff and Ash tried to call out to him, to both of them. He started running, but the boy was falling over the edge, there was a flash of silver, the dark haired boy screaming as the other fell.

In the morning he couldn’t remember anything about his dream, but the uneasy feeling it evoked lingered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Spanish "alba" means "dawn" or "sunrise." Is it symbolism and does it have a deeper meaning? I would love to say yes, but I only realized it in hindsight. I modelled the character Alba after my real life aunt who has the same name, also I just like it. ^^;;


	4. Protection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic, at only 4 chapters, is already easily in first place for fic I've done the most research for, and it's for super mundane things, sigh.
> 
> Shout out to Naomi Novik, author, and a founder of Organization for Transformative Works and ao3, because her book Spinning Silver helped me get over my writer's block. Read. Her. Book. It's gorgeous, and I could cry (I did, actually) with how good it is. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

Ash spent the next three days in the house. Partly because of the work Golzine had him doing, Ash was fast, but the sheer amount of work he brought back with him was just time consuming. Ash went over reports, charts, and figures; he read over legal documents and contracts late into the night, his glasses perched on his nose and his hair falling into his eyes.

When it came to matters of business at least, Golzine treated Ash like an equal, actually differed to him in some instances. They had to spend some time together, and Ash affected calm around him, but inwardly everything in him screamed tension. He couldn’t relax with that man in the same room; was hard enough to sleep some nights knowing Golzine might make advances toward him. He didn’t though; they sat in the library and when Golzine was satisfied with Ash’s work he got up, pausing only to place a big hand on Ash’s head as he exited the room. Ash’s skin crawled and he wanted to immediately hurl himself into his shower. He fought the urge and exhaled slowly, if he went to bathe every time he felt like that, he would spend all his time in the bathroom.

He considered the two guards who were left with him in the library. This was the second reason he’d stayed indoors. From his earlier observations, Ash knew the guards rotated. They seemed to work on fixed schedules, and none of them were there on consecutive days. They didn’t wear nametags, and finding out their names, and their shifts would take more than a couple of days of observation.

Ash was still carefully formulating his plans, it would be a bit of a long play, and he was resigning himself to that. He had to be patient and observant.

He spent a moment looking through the books, selected one on the history of Japan, and began to read. After about half an hour, Ash got up and made for the door, still reading. When he got there, he tripped, carefully angling himself so he fell against the young man on the left side of the door.

Ash let out a small, “Oh!” of surprise as the man caught him around the waist. He had a kind expression, Ash didn’t think he’d seen him before, but he must have because he looked familiar.

The young man helped right him with firm hands that don’t linger or try to grope him, which already made him leaps and bounds more decent than half of Golzine’s men.

“Are you alright?” He didn’t smile, but something in his voice suggested that he would have in other circumstances.

Ash on the other hand put on his best shy smile. “Yes, I’m so sorry. I should watch where I’m going, thank you so much, um – ?”

“Philip.”

Ash held the book to his chest, the young man is about his own height, and Ash looked at him through his lashes. “Philip, thank you.”

He watched colour slowly creep into the young man’s cheeks, but acted as if he hadn’t seen it. He waved and left.

He made a mental note to try and interact with Philip again, as much as possible. If he’s not the one he ended up using, he might still be useful later.

Ash went out of his way to befriend the staff. He was kind, and helpful, he was always sure to clean up after himself, and apologized if he misses anything. He spent some time in the kitchen, and talked to the cooks, a young couple from Italy who didn’t speak English well but they were kind and enthusiastic, and when Ash gently corrected their English they always seemed grateful. He asked them to help him with Italian as well, and they answered with delight, that they would love to. They gestured and fumbled their way through conversation, and when Ash asked for extra food for the following day they were only too glad to give it to him.

The guards were harder. It was a fine line between charm and outright invitation for these men, and he couldn’t tell just by looking at them which ones would turn around and head straight for Golzine with the news that Ash had tried to chat them up. The ease with which he handled the staff is a sharp contrast to how careful he had to be with Golzine’s men, but Ash had resolved to be patient, so there wa nothing he could do but bide his time with them.

Dinning with Golzine over the next three days Ash braced himself every evening to be called into his bedroom after, but it doesn’t happen. Every night Golzine went to his room alone, and if the gossip from the maids was to be believed, it was a persistent migraine that hardly let him sleep through the night that kept him off Ash.

On the night of his third day, Ash went back to his room and found Alba turning his bed down.

“So, what exactly is your position here?” Ash asked by way of greeting as he came into the room and leaned against the dresser by the door.

Alba started and looked up. Her dark hair was pin straight and tied into a long braid that fell over her shoulder as she straightened.

“I thought you were just a maid, you do stuff like this,” Ash gestures to the bed, “but you definitely have some nurse training, so which is it?”

Alba gave him a look; her dark eyes suggested she wanted to reply with the same directness that bordered on rudeness with which Ash posed his questions. She didn’t, instead she sighed a little and her shoulders fell. She gave Ash a long assessing look before she answered.

“I’m a certified nursing assistant.”

Ash raised his eyebrows. He was right at least about her professional manner. He crossed his arms over his chest and asked in a slightly gentler tone. “And what brings you here to Papa Dino’s employ?”

Alba gave him another look. She was dressed like the other maids again, no longer wearing the scrubs she had while he was recovering. Ash wasn’t a fan of the uniforms in general, they looked like French maids, but he thought the scrubs looked more natural on Alba; at least she seemed infinitely more comfortable in them.

“They say you’re a genius, you must have already guessed.” Alba replied, and he wasn’t sure if she meant to evade completely or was just stalling.

“Sure.” Ash replied, as Alba mirrored him and crossed her own arms. “But, there are a lot of ways someone like Golzine could coerce anyone to work for him. I was wondering what your particular story is.” Alba looked a little surprised that he’d said it straightforwardly, and when she didn’t reply after a moment Ash pushed off the dresser and started to walk toward the bathroom. “Or not, whatever.”

“It started with my brother.”

Ash stopped just at the entrance to the bathroom, he turned back and leaned against the doorjamb.

“He ran a debt with Papa Dino, he – “ she broke off and Ash wasn’t surprised to see that her story brought tears to her eyes. Someone as decent as she was would have to have something terrible happen to her to put her in that position. “He was killed. I’m working off part of his debt.”

“If they killed him shouldn’t they be square?”

She shook her head. “He did it for our mother, she’s sick.”

Well, that painted as clear a picture as Ash needed. He took a good long look at the young woman before him. Either she was an incredibly talented actress, and Hollywood was missing out, or she was telling the truth.

“I’m sorry.” Ash said after a moment. Alba’s eyes were still bright, but she didn’t cry, and she met his gaze. “I know what it’s like to have Golzine hold family over your head.”

They look at each other. The trust that had been slowly growing between them had reached a testing point; Ash could feel it. From here it will either break or grow stronger.

“There’s – “ Alba started, hesitated, and then kept going. “There’s someone you go meet, isn’t there?”

This is it, he thinks. If she isn’t who he thinks she is, if he’s wrong, it could mean Eiji’s safety as well as his own. It would be so much easier not to trust her at all.

As if she could sense his hesitation, Alba spoke again. “You don’t have to answer that. I just want you to know that if I can help you, I will.” She smiled a little, “I know you don’t like help, but I don’t know how else to say it this time.”

The corner of Ash’s mouth quirked up. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He said, and then turned, softly closing the door behind him.

*

Because they had no way of communicating, Ash could only hope Eiji would be there when he went down to the beach. In the days he spent in the house he went to every West-facing window to check if the beach could be seen from it and found, as he guessed, it couldn’t be. The path he walked to and from could be seen though, in some areas, and Ash would just have to be sure that Eiji never set foot on it. Golzine knew he went to the beach, but because it was supposed to be closed off from the public he didn’t seem to suspect there was anyone else with him, and of course he saw no evidence of it.

It is fairly early when Ash arrived at the beach, eager to be out of the house, he told himself, and found it was empty. Disappointment sat heavily in his stomach but he refused to acknowledge it. Ash put down his bag and sat against their meeting rock, pulling out a book he began to read. His mind is only half on what he was reading, the other half of his attention was focused on his surroundings, and he was eagerly attuned to any sound that suggested an approach.

It finally came some time later, just before midday; Ash caught the faint sounds of footfalls. As calmly as he could he marked his place in the book, closed it, and turned.

There was Eiji, he was smiling so bright it was almost dazzling, and just ahead of him is the dog he had mentioned. Ash carelessly dropped his book on top of his bag and got up, he absently dusted sand off his clothes and smiled as he went to greet them. Eiji didn’t hug him like he did when Ash came back after his ‘accident,’ but there was always a moment when they saw each other where Ash could almost feel it in the space between them, like they both thought about it, but neither moved to follow through.

“Ash,” Eiji said by way of greeting.

“Eiji,” Ash replied.

They smiled at each other. Ash felt a gentle prod to his shins and looked down.

Eiji gave a small laugh, “Be a good girl, Nimbus, Ash is a friend.”

Ash held out his hand and then slowly crouched down. “Her name is ‘Nimbus’?” Nimbus pushed her nose into his hand, and sniffed around him.

“Yes.”

“That’s the best name I’ve ever heard.”

“Isn’t it? I came up with it.”

Nimbus let Ash scratch behind her ears and run his hand along her back. She was beautiful and soft and Ash had to resist the urge to bury his face in her fur.

Eiji leaned forward and unhooked the leash from her collar, then straightened up.

“She knows tricks, would you like to see?”

“Yes, please.”

“ _Osuwari.”_

She sat.

“ _Moshi-moshi_.”

She barked.

“ _Oyasumi_.”

She laid down and closed her eyes.

Ash watched in amused bewilderment. From the bag Eiji carried with him he took out a treat, and said “ _Hajimemashite_ ,” to which Nimbus put out her paw, Eiji shook it, and then gave her the treat. She took it gently from his hand.

Eiji turned to him as Nimbus ate and said, “Her owner is Japanese too, and she trained her. I’ll teach you how to say the commands.”

And he did. First he explained what they meant, then slowly and clearly repeated the words. It helped that Japanese was almost always broken down into easy to follow syllables. Ash spent an enjoyable half hour like this, and Eiji pronounced his accent good, to which Ash gave him a smug look that made Eiji roll his eyes.

After that Eiji took out the same threadbare blanket he had brought before and spread it out. They had moved over to some of the larger rocks and sat in their shade. Eiji had a bright red ball with him that he tossed away from the water and Nimbus chased. While he did this he also rummaged for something in his bag. As Ash saw him do this a thought suddenly occured to him. It was so obvious he wondered how he hadn’t thought of it before.

Trying not to be too eager he asked, “Do you have a phone I could use?”

Eiji looked up at him, “Ah, no, sorry,” he said apologetically. “I don’t have a home phone or anything either.” He looked back down at his bag and added, “I would have asked for your number if I did.”

The bite of disappointment at the first revelation is somewhat soothed by the second. Ash paused for a moment, oddly pleased by this discovery.

“Oh?”

He watched as Eiji continued to deliberately search through his bag. “Yeah, I just have my desktop, but I don’t have Internet.” He withdrew something from his bag and held it out to him. “I thought you might be able to help me with this.”

Ash took what was being proffered to him. It was an old wooden clock; it was just bigger than the length of his hands. Ash looked it over and then looked at Eiji and gave him a questioning look.

Eiji leaned over him and carefully pried the back off the clock displaying the gears and cogs inside.

“It was working fine a couple of days ago, but I think something isn’t right with the mechanics.”

Ash raised his eyebrows. “Did I say I was an horologist? Because I’m not.”

“A what?”

“Basically professional clock expert and enthusiast.”

“Ah, no, but you did say you were good with technology, I thought...” Eiji trailed off looking a little embarrassed.

“I meant computers, and coding, and stuff, not wind-up clocks.”

“Oh, sorry, never mind then – “ He reached for the clock but Ash pulled it away.

“Just give me a sec.”

Ash felt Eiji looking at him, but he turned his attention back to the clock. He carefully looked over the gears; he gently prodded a few to see if they would turn smoothly. He found they all did except at one point.

“I think there’s something here,” Ash pointed and blinked hard, it was difficult to look at things so closely with so much intensity without his glasses.

“Here.”

Eiji handed him a pair of long slender tweezers. Ash gave him another look, but Eiji just shruged. Ash took them and carefully nudged the place where the gears locked but wouldn’t move. There wa something stuck there and he had to concentrate on keeping a steady hand to extract a tiny pebble from the cogs. He placed it carefully on Eiji’s knee, and then gently prodded the cogs and found they did turn now. He replaced the backing of the clock and handed it to Eiji.

“Try it now.”

Eiji did, he wound the clock, the key turned smoothly, and when he let go, it began to tick gently as the second hand made its way around the face.

Eiji grinned at him. “Thank you.”

Ash shruged one shoulder. “S’no big deal. But, if you think that’s impressive, you should see me work on computers.”

“Mm, beauty and brains, huh?”

Ash looked at him. “What?”

“What?”

Nimbus came at that moment and jumped between them. She was breathing hard and dropped the red ball Eiji had been throwing in Ash’s lap, it was wet and sandy, but Ash didn’t really mind, he had handled way more unpleasant things. He looked over at Eiji who looked suspiciously pink faced as he made a show of greeting Nimbus, enthusiastically petting, and praising her.

“You’re breathing pretty hard, Nimbus, I’ll get you some water.”

From his bag he pulled out a bottle of water and a shallow dish he set by their feet. Nimbus drank gratefully and then settled there in the shade with them. She was just close enough that they could pet her without having to lean forward, and Ash did it automatically, absently. He hadn’t forgotten what Eiji said, and they sat in silence for a moment.

“Ash,” Eiji said looking down at Nimbus.

“Hmm?”

“If I ask you something – personal, will you answer?”

There was only a slight hesitation in Ash’s movements as he continued to run his fingers through Nimbus’ fur, he scratched down her back.

“Probably,” he said.

A beat of silence. Then Eiji said, “Those bruises before, they weren’t an accident.”

It wasn’t really phrased or said like a question. It was more like a statement Eiji wanted confirmed. Eiji was looking at him, and Ash turned his head to meet his gaze.

“No.” He agreed.

“Someone hurt you – hurts you.”

“Yes.”

“You can’t leave?”

“No.”

“Is there anything I – someone – can do?”

“...No.”

Another silence, this one heavier. They both looked away again. Ash had withdrawn his hand from Nimbus and sat cross-legged with his hands hanging loosely in his lap. He didn’t know how Eiji would respond to this information. He was afraid that knowing this would drive him away, he was afraid it would do the opposite.

Eiji broke the silence, his voice soft and tentative. “Can you tell me about it?”

Ash swallowed. This was dangerous. He hadn’t planned for this, or anticipated it in any way. Telling Eiji was involving him in his problems, it was pulling him into Ash’s world, and he was already too close to the heart of darkness as it was. Ash shook his head.

“Is it – “ Eiji paused, Ash turned to look at him just a little, he looked so uncertain and sad Ash almost wanted to change his answer. “You can’t trust me?”

Ash shook his head again, more emphatically; glad to finally be able to say something that will soothe the expression on Eiji’s face. “That’s not it, I just can’t – I can’t.”

“But,” Eiji started, still tentative, “you do trust me?”

Ash’s gaze found Eiji’s; they looked at each other for a moment. There was vulnerability there, and something like longing that Ash felt in his stomach. “I trust you.” He said, and it was true. Ash couldn’t explain it. He didn’t know why this person he hardly knew made him feel like he was in the presence of the sun, but he did. There was something about Eiji that called to Ash, and he was helpless to do anything but answer.

Eiji smiled, just a little, and it eased some of the tension that had formed between them. “I trust you too.”

Another silence, this one different again. Different because they were still looking at each other, because the way they looked at each other communicated more than either of them was ready to say. Ash looked away first; he had to pull his gaze away.

They sat together quietly for a long while, Eiji with his knees pulled up and his arms around his legs. He looked young and vulnerable, and even though Ash was the one who was caught up in snares that threatened all manner of dangerous, he wanted to protect Eiji. The more he got to know him, the more time he spent with him he could see loneliness in him. No, not loneliness, lonesomeness. The difference seemed minimal, but as someone who was lonesome too, Ash felt that difference keenly.

Eiji was the one to break the silence again. He unfolded his legs and said, “Can I ask for your help again?”

Ash smiled a little wryly. “I don’t know, can you?”

Eiji gave him a look, but he was smiling too. “There’s a tide pool just over there,” Eiji pointed behind them. “I could use your help.”

Ash shruged, “Sure.” They got up. Nimbus drank more water before they picked up her bowl, and the rest of their things, and made their way over.

Eiji took out his camera and asked Ash to stand to the side holding up a big sheet to block the breeze that was coming in so the water in the tide pool didn’t ripple. Ash stood with his arms out for a few minutes as Eiji took various different shots.

“It’s a commission,” Eiji explained when Ash asked why they were doing this. “I was hired to take these pictures. I usually don’t take commissions like this, but they seemed so desperate, I think they’re a student, so I decided to take it on.”

“You’re not in school?” Ash asked, he moved slightly when Eiji motioned him to.

A brief pause. “No, I – no.”

Curious, but deciding not to press, Ash asked something else. “So, you’re a free lance photographer? I was wondering how you could be here in the middle of the day so often.”

Eiji was on his knees by the pool, he looked intently at his work as he spoke. “Yes. I usually take on projects from the city, things for local shops.”

“No events? Weddings?”

“No,” Eiji agreed. “I’m not really interested in taking pictures of people.”

Ash almost pointed out that taking his picture was one of the first things Eiji talked to him about, but Eiji said, “Okay, you can put that down now, would you help me with this?” And Ash let the moment go.

Eiji was crouched by his camera bag sorting out his things, and Ash’s attention was caught by the flash of silver at his neck.

“You’re wearing it.”

Eiji looked up at him. “What?”

Ash gestured to his neck. “The necklace, the one I picked up for you.”

“Oh, yeah.” Eiji smiled a little faintly. “I always wear it. It’s actually really strange. The day we met, I took it off to shower, which I usually don’t do either, and then I just put it in my pocket before I left the house.” He shook his head a little, that small bemused smile still in place.

“Well, just try not to drop it again. Adults should be more responsible with their things.”

Eiji rolls his eyes. “You say that like you’re not an adult too. Here.” Ash took what was passed to him, and helped Eiji as he took more pictures.

They talked to whole time, Eiji describeed some of his favourite Japanese food that he hadn’t found any good places for, and Ash told him about old 50’s white suburban dishes.

“That sounds – “ Eiji paused, obviously trying to find a suitable word for jellied meat with mayonnaise, “gross.”

Ash laughed. “I’ve never had any of that stuff, but yeah. Americans went in a really weird direction on that one.” He grinned over at Eiji. “But, don’t you kind of want to try it?”

Eiji laughed too and bumped his shoulder against Ash’s.

When they were done they took Nimbus for a short walk around the beach, Ash didn’t hesitate to take a bag off the little dispenser attached to her collar to clean up after her. Eiji tried to protest that he didn’t have to, but Ash just shruged. “I’ve always wanted a dog, this is a good trial run.”

Ash steered them to walk through the blind spots he found from looking over the property from the house. There were young trees where sand gave way to greenery close to the path Ash took back to the house, and that was there they sat a moment. It was only because he knew he would leave in a moment that he let them stop there. It was a little closer to the house than he liked, and as much as he would have liked to, he couldn’t drop his guard.

Eiji yawned and rubbed his eyes.

“Sleepy?” Ash asked.

Eiji smiled a little, “Yeah, but I still have things to do.”

Ash didn’t ask, he wanted to know, but he was worried if he asked Eiji would turn the question back on him. He wouldn’t exactly be lying if he said he would just be reading or doing some work later, but it felt too close to why and how he was at that house in the first place. It turned out however that he didn’t have to ask, Eiji told him anyway.

“I have to go and see if I can convince a receptionist to cancel an appointment for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Eiji began. “I’m supposed to give seventy-two hours notice, but the appointment is tomorrow. Which means I’d have to pay a cancelation fee, but I don’t need to go anymore, and I’d really rather not pay if I don’t have to.”

“Have you gone there before?” Ash asked, something already occurring to him.

“Yes.”

“Do you know if they’d let you reschedule for a later date? If they can do that, make sure it’s more than seventy-two hours from now, and then just cancel.” Ash explained matter-of-factly.

Eiji just stared at him for a moment. He looked almost comically surprised, and then he was smiling, then laughing. “That’s amazing!” He said, “You’re very clever.” For a moment there was an expression on his face Ash didn’t know how to read, but he blinked and it was gone, Eiji just looked happy and impressed, but that look didn’t leave Ash’s mind.

“Glad I could help,” Ash said, he was smiling a little too, even while he tried to play it off and be cool, he couldn’t seem to help it. They smiled at each other; Ash looked away and said, “I should get going.”

They stood up, Nimbus was asleep in the shade, and didn’t move as they stood beside her. Ash ran a hand carefully over her fur, just barely touching her, not wanting to wake her if he didn’t have to. “Nice meeting you, Nimbus,” he said and then straightened. Eiji was still smiling at him. “I’ll see you later,” Ash said.

“Wait.”

Before Ash could turn to leave, Eiji took something from his pocket and gave it to him. Ash took it reflexively; in his hand was a small white envelope, about the size of his thumb. He looked at Eiji in confusion.

“It’s for – protection.” He said the last word a bit reluctantly, like he would have wanted to say something else.

Ash looked down at the little envelope he’d been given, there was something in it, the paper was puffed out, but both sides were taped shut.

“Oh.” Ash didn’t really know what to say. “Um, thank you, but I don’t really believe – “

“Please.” Eiji said, and there was an edge to his voice that made Ash pause. They looked at each other. Ash thought about whether or not it was worth getting into an argument over something small like this. He looked at Eiji’s brown eyes that, in that moment, caught the light from the sun and turned to warm honey.

“Okay.”

Eiji looked relieved, and he smiled again. “Good.” He said, exhaling the word, like he had been holding his breath. “When you get back to your house you can open it, and it’s bad luck if someone sees you, so make sure you do it alone. And, don’t take it off, okay?” Ash must have been giving him a sceptical look because Eiji said, this time sounding stern, “It’s important.”

“Alright.” Ash suppressed a sigh. There was no point arguing. He already knew Eiji was into this stuff, so he shouldn’t be surprised, plus, it didn’t hurt him to just do what he asked. “I’ll do it.”

“And wear it on your left wrist.”

Ash gave him a look. “Let me guess, if I wear it on the right it’s bad luck?”

“No.” Eiji said seriously, “But, you’re right handed, it would just get in your way.”

Ash gave him another look, and Eiji laughed. His expression then was bright and adorable, and Ash had to look away. “Now I really have to go.” Eiji nodded, and Ash looked back at him. “Later.”

“Later.” Eiji agreed. They both smiled, Ash turned, and left.

When he was back in his room, he went straight to the bathroom, shut the door, and sat against it. There he opened the little envelope. The first thing he pulled out was a small square piece of red paper, on it were characters in kanji that meant absolutely nothing to Ash, he turned it over, but it was blank on the other side. Ash put it down and thought he’d look it up later, there was still something else in the envelope. He carefully drew it out; it was a bracelet. The thread it was made from was the colour of gold, and it glimmered where it caught the light. Ash looked at it closely, it was so fine Ash couldn’t see that there was a pattern woven into it, but as he ran his fingers along it and felt it. Soft and fine, Ash didn’t know what material it was, he had never seen or felt anything like it. He was no expert on linens or textiles, but he had had to patch up clothes before, and he certainly wasn’t a stranger to expensive clothing, but this was the first time he had come across anything like this bracelet.

He spent another moment just admiring it, and then finally tied it carefully on his left wrist. Eiji had observed Ash as right handed, and he wasn’t exactly wrong. When he was young his dominant hand had been his right hand, but he had taught himself to use both equally well. There were too many incidents; he made too many smart remarks to too many cruel men to rely on just one hand for everything.

Ash looked at the bracelet laying flat against his skin, he thought of Eiji thinking of him, wanting to give him something. He smiled a little and then turned to look for the slip of paper that had come with it. He could have sworn he put it on the floor on his left, but it wasn’t there. It wasn’t on his right either, and when he got up, he didn’t see it. He shook out his clothes; he looked in the envelope again. Nothing. It was gone, as if it hadn’t been there to begin with. Ash frowned.

There was a firm knock on the door. Not the bathroom door, the door to his room. Neither of his doors had locks on them, at least not on the inside, and only some guards bothered with that courtesy, and if they did they sometimes didn’t wait long to open the door anyway, not that they would ever catch Ash doing anything other than reading or lying on his bed when they came to check on him.

He opened the door to the bathroom and called out.

“Yes?”

“Dinner is served.” A woman’s voice. He thought it sounded like Sofia. She wasn’t as young as the others, and she didn’t try to flirt with Ash even when he gave her his most charming smile. She seemed completely uninterested in him; he liked her. Ash went to the door and opened it, he smiled big, Sofia just looked at him, unimpressed.

“Are you here to escort me?” Ash asked, leaning on the doorframe.

“No.” She said, and then turned and left.

Ash watched her go in a little surprise, and then laughed. The way she acted reminded him of how he had been when he was younger. Curt, annoyed, and simply not interested in anyone else’s bullshit. He liked that Sofia left him alone, but her similarity to his younger self was worrying. He made a mental note to look into her if he could.

Ash closed the door to his room and went out. He passed one of the guards, Alexander Wilson. He didn’t acknowledge Ash as he passed by, and Ash didn’t acknowledge him either.

“Good evening, Ash.”

Golzine was already at his seat, napkin spread over his lap, and he looked pleased to see Ash. An owner pleased to see his pet come when he was called. Ash kept his expression carefully neutral as he returned the greeting and sat.

“How was your day?” Golzine asked as he picked up his fork.

“It was good.” Ash said, feeling his appetite vanish. He couldn’t understand how Golzine could talk to him like this. Ask him these mundane questions as they sat around a table, just the two of them. It was a grotesque parody of kinship, for them to sit together like that, talking about their days, about the weather, the work they’d done, like maybe they were father and son. It turned Ash’s stomach. He didn’t understand it. How could Golzine live like that? How could he even _look_ at Ash after everything he had done to him? After everything he kept doing.

Belatedly, Ash remembered he was wearing Eiji’s bracelet. Despite his agreement, it wasn’t technically a promise; he had been planning to take it off before coming down. It was strange that he would forget something like that, he wasn’t one to forget details, however small, and especially when they pertained to keeping someone he cared about safe. But, he _had_ forgotten. And now he sat at the table with Golzine wondering if there was a way to discreetly take it off.

But, dinner went by like every other, and Golzine didn’t so much as glance at Ash’s wrist. He had made up a dozen excuses in his head explaining it away, all of them risky to some degree, but Golzine didn’t ask coyly who gave him jewellery or demanded to know where it was from.

Ash ate as much as he could, carefully spreading his food around his plate and slipping bits of it into his napkin. He tried to keep up conversation too. Did his best to ask questions that would keep Golzine talking, as much to keep his attention off his new accessory as he was trying to put off the inevitable.

Since that time Golzine had beat him, he hadn’t touched Ash, but he knew it was only a matter of time until his _services_ were called on. He thought he should be used to it by now, and in a way he was, but it didn’t stop his flight and fight instincts from kicking in. But he couldn’t fight, not without putting everything he worked to keep safe in jeopardy, and even if he could run, where would he go?

Eiji’s face came into his mind then. His soft smile, the one he gave Ash sometimes when he thought Ash wasn’t looking, it was the same smile Ash wanted to give Eiji. For one achingly sweet moment he thought about it, touching Eiji’s hand, asking to stay with him. He thought Eiji would let him, even if it were just for a short while, a day. He didn’t know what he wanted from Eiji, his feelings were a complicated mess inside him, and the only thing he could safely admit was that he wanted to see Eiji as much as possible.

He pushed those thoughts firmly from his mind. It didn’t do him any good either way. Whether he fantasied about punching Golzine in the throat, or softly taking Eiji’s hand, it didn’t change anything, and he should be using his brainpower for other things anyway.

When the dishes we cleared, and Golzine sipped the last bit of wine, he got up and walked over to Ash. Ash braced himself. He forced himself not to go rigid as he felt Golzine’s big heavy hands on him. He wished he had eaten less, not at all, he felt sick as Golzine’s hands moved down his arms.

“Stand up,” Golzine said, his voice lower.

Ash did as he was told; he stood facing his captor, resigned. He tried not to see the way Golzine looked at him, even as he moved his face closer. Ash could feel his hot breath on his face, and closed his eyes. Nothing happened. He felt a sudden tightening of Golzine’s grip on his arm. He opened his eyes and saw Golzine, eyes wide, one hand clutching Ash, the other his chest, just over his heart.

“Shit,” Ash muttered. “Hey, hey! Call nine – one – one!”

Two guards burst in, one of them came and helped Ash maneuverer Golzine over to one of the chairs, and the other was already on his phone. Of course, they didn’t call emergency services; instead they called a private doctor from a private hospital that sent their own people. Everyone seemed to realize it was a heart attack, and not something Ash could have done to Golzine, because no one tried to manhandle him or point fingers.

Alba came in, she assessed Golzine, and gave him a pill, aspirin, Ash realized, and talked to Golzine. He was breathing heavily, but still conscious, and when the paramedics came in they assessed him briefly too before putting him on a stretcher and carrying him out. Four of his guards and Alba went with him. No one seemed to remember Ash and he stood watching as they all left.

Ash wondered if Golzine had marked him down as next of kin, if he would be called for. It didn’t really matter; if they did he would deal with it then.

There were maids standing around, they were all looking down the hall where Golzine and his escort had disappeared, and a moment later they broke away, muttering. Their movement startled Ash into action, and he went automatically to his own room. There he closed the door to his room and looked down at the circle of gold on his left wrist.

 _It’s for – protection_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Japanese words:  
> Osuwari= Sit (polite form, yes, it is a deliberate in universe reference to Inuyasha, Nimbus's owner is a fan)  
> Oyasumi=Goodnight (casual)  
> Moshi-moshi= Hello (used when answering the phone)  
> Hajimemashite= Nice to meet you
> 
> And, yes, I totally stole Ash's logic for helping Eiji from that one tumblr post. I can't find it, but if you've got it and could link me, that'd be fab!!!
> 
> Sorry for the delay! I'll try to stick to a weekly schedule, but no hard promises. You might have also noticed I switched tenses this chapter. Yeah, I'm gonna go back and change the whole thing. I can't keep living this present tense lie, I don't know what I was thinking. orz
> 
> The action is finally picking up! I know a bunch of stuff is still unclear, and people have asked what or who Eiji is. I'm going to treat those questions as rhetorical, since the answers are part of the narrative. All will be revealed in time, promise! 
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated! More comments, questions, a friendly chat? Find me on [tumblr](nightofviolet.tumblr.com) or on discord: Snow_Falls#2405


	5. A Helping Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter! Sorry for the delay! I ended up using all my writing power last week for my Valentine's Day fic. ^^;; But, I'm back on track, and it's back to your regularly scheduled fic updates =)

Ash slept fitfully. His dreams were incoherent and in the two times we woke throughout the night, as soon as his eyes opened he couldn’t remember _what_ about his dreams had disturbed him. 

In the morning he was uneasy and tired. He couldn’t remember his dreams, but the feelings they gave him were familiar, and he felt that if only he tried hard enough they would come to him, something about them seemed so important.

A soft knock at the door made Ash sit up in bed, “Yes?”

The door opened and Alba stepped in. “Good, you’re up.” She said.

“I didn’t realize you were back. Is he back too?”

Alba shook her head. She closed the door behind her and came into the room. “I just got back, I’m here to pick up a few things for him, and then I have to go back. He’s stable,” she said, and it wasn’t happy news, but they both needed him to be alive, for now, at least. “They’re going to keep him for observation for a few days. I think it’s likely he’ll be discharged in two days, maybe some time tomorrow night, at earliest.”

“Why are you telling me?” Ash asked.

Alba looked a little surprised. “I thought you’d want to know.” She replied, like it was obvious. Maybe it was, but apparently old habits died hard. She seemed to understand his need to question, because she went on. “I asked about you.” Ash raised his eyebrows. “I don’t know what Golzine has on you, but I do know this isn’t the first time he’s – “ she paused, as if unsure how to word this, a look of obvious distaste on her face, “done this.” She finally finished. She sighed and took another step forward, her brows drawn slightly, her brown eyes intense. “Just because I’m stuck here doesn’t mean you should be too, not if you can help it, and considering what people say, I think you can. I told you before, I just want to help.”

Ash looked at her for a long moment, she held his gaze determinedly.

“So what are you saying?”

Alba’s expression relaxed a fraction. “You probably have some plan or some idea how to get yourself out of here. Let me help, tell me what you need, I’ll do what I can.”

 There was another pause where Ash assessed her again. This wasn’t how he thought his day would start off, for a myriad of reasons. And now, he was looking someone in the eye, and they were openly offering him, though he hated to admit it, desperately needed help. The truth was, as much as he wanted to just put a bullet between Golzine’s eyes and be done with it, he couldn’t, he needed information first, and for that, he needed help.

He thought of everything that was at stake, _everyone_ , among those who he needed to keep safe, Eiji. He had trusted a strange young man he meant by chance, could he trust someone else circumstance had thrown in his path?

At that thought he felt slight warmth on his wrist. He looked down at the bracelet of spun gold that rested there.

Ash sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Fine.” He said.

He got up and crossed the room to the desk; he had paper and pencils there. Under any other circumstances he might not have been afforded even this, but so confident was Golzine in his snare that Ash was allowed this luxury. He wrote out a list of things he needed, then after a moment of consideration, a name, and number, as well as instructions.

“Here,” Ash said, and he handed her the piece of paper. Alba looked over it, her brow furrowing again. She looked back up at him questioningly. “Things I need,” he said, like it was evident, and it should have been. “At the bottom is a name and number. I don’t know how things here work, I don’t know who to ask about this shit here, but if you contact that number, and send them the message I wrote out, they can tell you where and how to get things.”

“Okay,” Alba said. 

“Wait,” Ash held up a hand as Alba made to turn. “It’s important you do everything I wrote, exactly the way I wrote it. I usually don't have other people handle my business, so if they don’t think you’re on the level, you’ll never be able to contact them through that number again. Plus, everything is going through my credit, which should still hold up, but if it doesn’t, well,” here Ash paused; now talking more to himself than to Alba. “Anyway, just remember that.” Alba nodded solemnly folding the note and tucking it into a pocket she only had because she was back in her scrubs. “And, Alba.” Ash locked his gaze with hers, for the first time using his height over her as a threat, and measuring out each word so that it held all the weight of what was being promised. “If I find out you aren’t who you say you are, if you fuck me over, I swear, I will bring you down with me.”

There was a heavy silence that followed his words. Alba’s expression changed, different emotions ran across her face: anger, fear, surprise, and hurt. Ash didn’t let himself acknowledge the slight twinge of his conscience at that last; he couldn’t afford it.

“I understand. I promise, I just want to help.” She said finally, her brown eyes clear, and Ash read sincerity there as easily as if it were written. He nodded.

Alba's phone buzzed, she was one of the only people in the house allowed to carry one, and only when she was working as a nurse. Everything was checked when they went in and out of the house. Ash had been checked with strict, and unnecessary thoroughness, he had endured a few gropings in order to leave the house, but now was only searched at random. The guards, and certain other staff, Ash had noted, carried walkie-talkies. 

She took it out and quickly scanned the screen. “Shit,” she muttered. “I’m taking too long, I have to go.” She put her phone back in her pocket and started walking to the door; there she paused. “When I can, I’ll let you know how things are going.”

“Good luck,” Ash said, then, a little reluctantly, like it cost him something, and almost shy. “Thank you.”

Alba grinned at him, and in that moment she reminded him of another woman he knew, another older sister, “You’re welcome.” And she left.

When the door closed Ash sighed. He felt his shoulders slump. He was tempted to throw himself face down on the bed, just lie there for a moment and take everything in. But, if Alba was going to start work on what he needed to pry himself out of Golzine’s grasp once and for all, then he needed to start work too. Ash washed up, and then made directly for the kitchen.

 *

The next day he spent with Eiji. Summer was now upon them, in full force. The sky was bright blue with fluffy white clouds, and the breeze that carried over to them wasn't suffocatingly hot the way he knew it would be in other parts of the country. But, it was still the throes of summer, and they spent time wading into the water splashing around.  Eiji didn’t suggest swimming again, or offer to teach Ash. He thought he should probably tell him that he could swim, but, even with the bruises healed, there was still a considerable amount of scarring. Most people, at least not his age, didn’t have the kind of scars he did, they usually only had scrapped knees and shins from childhood, they didn’t have stab wounds, or lines of raised skin where bullets had clipped them. It wasn’t exactly something he could flippantly wave away, and it didn’t seem right that he should try to anyway. Eiji didn’t deserve that he lie to him like that, so instead, another lie would have to suffice.

They stretched out in the shade of the rock they meet at, it was so warm that it didn’t matter if they were in the shade, they would dry off quickly anyway. Eiji always brought his bag with bottles of water, and that threadbare blanket Ash had quickly learned the texture of. In that moment he ran his fingers along it, feeling the fibres that were soft with age and constant washing. Ash had noted as well that most of the things Eiji owned were like this, worn soft and smooth, showing signs of thorough use and age. He had told Ash that he worked as a freelance photographer, which probably didn’t pay much, Ash wondered if Eiji could literally afford to be with him instead of working.

“That one looks kind of like…a hydra.”

They laid on their backs, watching the clouds, Eiji was pointing to one in that moment, and Ash looked to where he indicated and raised an eyebrow.

“What? That one?” He pointed, “That doesn’t look anything like a hydra.”

“Yes, it does,” Eiji insisted. “There’s one head, and there’s another.”

“I do not see that at all.” Ash titled his head a little, but the change in angle didn’t immediately yield the image Eiji was describing.

“Look.” Eiji said.

He shifted, moving toward him so that his shoulder and arm were pressed against Ash. Because Eiji was on Ash’s right, and being right handed himself, meant that in order to put his hand directly in Ash’s line of sight, he had to sort of lean over him, meaning simply that he had to lie on his side, and really press himself against Ash. “Give me your hand,” he said, Ash did so without thinking about it, it was a lovely excuse to touch Eiji. He took Ash’s hand. Eiji’s hand was dry with sand, and the tips of his fingers calloused, it was a hand that was familiar with hard work, was shaped by it, and Ash enjoyed how it felt on his own hand. “Point,” Eiji prompted, and Ash complied, Eiji fit his own hand against Ash’s in the same pose. He moved it over to point out the cloud and began to trace the outline. “See, here, one head,” he carefully moved Ash’s hand, tracing the arc of the head, the long line down the neck, “and here’s the other head,” a similar shape, “and here’s the body.” Ash saw it now; he was almost tempted to say he didn’t. 

“See?”

Eiji spoke in his ear. Ash turned his head to look at him; Eiji was very close. Ash could see the dark sweep of his lashes, his big brown eyes, warm as always, and looking back at him. They spent a second too long just looking at each other, Ash dragged his eyes away, and tried for an easy smile. “Yeah I see it, you’re such a nerd. Who sees a hydra in the clouds?”

Eiji elbowed him, then shifted away, and Ash could breathe again.

They began to talk about other games they used to play as children to pass the time, and Ash’s mind wandered, he was still thinking about Eiji’s warm touch. He felt they were on the precipice, on the cusp of – something. What they were to each other, what was between them, it was sweet and simple, Ash cherished it like he hadn’t cherished anything in years, and yet he knew it couldn’t last. He knew too that Eiji was aware of it, that they both knew and made the choice again and again not to acknowledge it, both aware that what lived in the space between them was fragile, it was untested and it couldn’t last, at least not in its current form. Ash felt a pang, a brief twist of his heart, mourning in anticipation.

He took the bottle of water that Eiji offered to him after a while. He sat up to drink it, and saw again the flash of gold on his wrist. When he had gone to the kitchen the other day to speak to the cooks, he had deliberately gestured heavily, and brought up his left hand to his face, but not once did their gazes move to the bracelet. They didn’t glance at it, their eyes didn’t flicker to it, and they said not a word about his new accessory, no one had.

It felt like there was a logical conclusion to move to from this thought, but Ash’s mind skirted it. His troubled dreams came into his mind too, and he didn’t know why, but it felt connected. It was like, once he had an answer for one of those things, he would have an answer for all of them. Because there was definitely a question he should be asking, he should be trying to find the answer, but instead he placed the cap back on the bottle and twisted it shut, handing it back to Eiji who smiled at him.

Eiji was sitting up too, and rummaging through his bag. He pulled out a container and handed it to him. 

“You should eat this now, don’t want it to go bad.” He said.

It was Ash’s favourite, avocado and shrimp salad.

“Sorry, it’s probably warm…”

Ash shook his head, already opening it. He looked back at Eiji, smiling, “It’s fine, thank you.”

The genuine look of relief and pleasure at that moved him. He found himself asking something entirely different, something he hadn’t meant to ask at all.

“Why are you here?”

Eiji looked up at him, confused. He was sitting cross-legged now, with another container balanced on his knee. His brows drew together. “Because we said we would meet – “

Ash shook his head, cutting him off. “No, I mean, why do you come here at all? Why are you coming back to hang out with some random guy you just met? I’m trouble, and I know you know it, so why are you here?”

Eiji put down the chopsticks he was holding, looking down at his lap. He seemed to consider the question for a moment, and when he looked back up at Ash his expression was open and guileless. “You’re my friend,” he said, like it was obvious, like it was that simple. “I just want to spend time with you, if I can. I wish I could do more – “ he broke off, looking back down. Eiji picked his chopsticks back up, fiddled with them, and then looked up at Ash through his lashes. “If that’s okay?”

That look shouldn’t be allowed; it was unfair. It did funny things to Ash’s stomach.

He held Eiji’s gaze for another moment before he had to look away. “Of course it’s okay.” He shook his head, “It was kind of a dumb question anyway, sorry.” He said, he hadn't been ready for that particular answer either.

“No,” Eiji reached out, but he didn’t touch Ash. “It’s alright, I understand.” He smiled and then turned back to his food. “But, you were kind of mean about it. You really hurt my feelings.” 

Ash felt his stomach sink at those words. Oh. His mind raced through different ways he could apologize.

Then, he saw the twitch of Eiji’s lips.

“You asshole! I actually thought – “

Eiji laughed, “Well, serves you right!”

Ash rolled his eyes, but he was smiling now too. They continued to bicker good naturedly as they ate.

Yes, he was on the edge of something, and as much as he wanted it to, this couldn’t last.

 

  

Later they parted ways. Ash’s skin, like Eiji’s, just a bit darker than it had been that morning. He was going to get the most hideous farmer’s tan, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Eiji smiled at him, and waved goodbye.

Ash walked up the familiar trail back to the house. White flowers scattered along his path. The flowers weren’t indigenous to the region, Ash had looked it up, and he wondered how they had gotten there.

Soon after he got cleaned up, Golzine arrived. Ash was called to see him. He didn’t delay, there was no point in drawing it out, and at least he had been spared having to visit him in the hospital. 

Golzine was installed in his room, sitting up in his enormous bed, a small mountain of pillows at his back. Alba who was sitting in a chair in one of the corners of the room, got up and left when he came up, nodding just slightly as she passed.

“Ash,” Golzine said, not weakly, but not in his usual tone. “Did you write that contract I left for you?”

"Yes."

Ash stood in front of Golzine’s bed and answered his questions. He made small talk when he had to, and he forced himself to look at the face he never wanted to see again. He did it all with passable civility, and, even though he had showered, with the scent of the white flowers clinging to him. 

When he was back in his room, Ash finally gave into the desire to throw himself down onto the bed. He sighed, and put his arms under his pillow, he left paper crumple under his fingers. He drew out lined paper with a message written in a hand he didn’t recognize.

_Everything OK. Except for one delay. Two weeks they say._

_\- A_

“Two weeks,” Ash muttered. It was about what he had expected. And, to be honest, he probably needed that time to plan anyway. “Two weeks,” he said again, sitting up. Soon. Very soon he would finally be able to get the information he needed, and finally take the first real step to getting the hell out of there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter guys. The next one. Finally, what you've all been waiting for. (And me too, tbh.) See you then! ;D


	6. Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After short chapter, I give you long chapter! :3
> 
> Have you, and this is very important, listened to Hozier's new album???? [Wasteland, baby!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2YgDua2gpk&list=OLAK5uy_kzJHv3q2UP6Z0UnrglQ3rls6wEiGkNGRA) I've been listening to it on repeat all weekend, god, it's so good. Listen, it IS important and relevant because his musical poetry inspires me. :')
> 
> Please enjoy!

The night was still and pleasantly warm. Ash quietly opened his window and stepped onto the shallow balcony. The moon shone bright, not quite all the way full, and if Ash closed his eyes he could almost pretend he was somewhere else, the smell of salt water on the breeze, the gentle sounds of nature at night, he let himself drink it in, let it settle over him.

He leaned on the balustrade, watched the way the leaves on the trees swayed with the wind. The white light of the moon almost turning green to silver, and Ash watched the ripple of colour along the pathway he knew so well, partly visible from his window. The wind passing over the grass made it catch the light at different angles, so that it looked green, then black, then silver. He spent what felt like hours there just looking at the quiet picture of nature at night, but his body didn’t tire of holding the same pose, and his skin didn’t cool from the ocean breeze. He closed his eyes again, breathed deeply, and opened them.

Someone was walking on the path now.

It took a moment for Ash’s mind to process what he was seeing. The figure on the path was wearing a something white and flowing, it caught the light of the moon, and seemed to make them glow. But it wasn’t just the clothing, Ash realized. Their skin caught the light too, their dark hair shining like the gloss of ink. They turned, and Ash saw a very familiar profile. Eiji’s profile.

He watched, unable to look away, as Eiji walked slowly through the pathway, and in his wake white flowers bloomed. Eiji and his flowers caught the light, reflecting it, glowing with pure silver. He stopped close to the edge of the path, right when it turned out of sight from the house, and for a moment everything was still, not even the wind blew anymore. Ash held his breath. Eiji turned and looked up. He caught Ash’s gaze, but Ash couldn’t read his expression, it was Eiji, he knew that, but in that moment he didn’t look like Eiji at all.

 

 

“—sh! Ash!”

Ash’s eyes flew open. He felt his heart beat hard in his chest. It was morning, the sun shone through his hastily shut curtains and he wasn’t alone in the room. Sofia was there and she looked disgruntled.

“Finally,” she said, “you sleep like the dead.” She turned and said as she walked toward the door. “It’s half passed noon, the kitchen staff were starting to wonder if you were still alive.”

“Wait a sec.”

Sofia paused at the door looking hassled. She didn’t say anything, just gave him a look that was the equivalent of ‘Well?’

Ash still felt disoriented. It had felt so real, he could still see the colours that played over the trees in the moonlight, but it had been a dream. It had to have been a dream.

He looked down at the bracelet Eiji had given him, and then looked up at Sofia who seemed as if she was thinking about just leaving anyway.

Ash lifted his arm, and pointed to the bracelet. “What does this look like?”

Sofia’s eyebrows rose into perfect dark arcs of confused exasperation. “Pardon?”

“What do you see,” he shook his wrist for emphasis. “Describe it.”

Sofia gave him another look that said she was still thinking about simply leaving. She sighed heavily. “Your wrist. You have a tan line, you should think about taking off your watch when you go to the beach.”

“A tan line,” Ash repeated, feeling something cold settle in his stomach, and slowly crawl up his spine. “That’s what you see, nothing else?”

Sofia’s expression was starting to morph from exasperated to a look of wary concern. ‘You’re crazy,’ it said. But, when she opened her mouth what she actually said was, “Yes.”

When Ash said nothing more, Sofia left. Ash sat there for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts. It felt like his mind held all the pieces of a puzzle, but refused to lay them all in their proper place, so they sat scattered across his mind. All he needed to do was pick them up and fit them together, and he would have the clear picture. But, no, that wasn’t true. Even if he did, Ash wasn’t sure he would know what he was looking at. To really understand, he would have to go and talk to Eiji. He couldn’t skirt that thought anymore, regardless of how much his mind shied away from it before, it was obvious, whatever _this_ was, Eiji was part of it.

Looking down at the bracelet that glowed softly in the warm morning light, Ash traced the smooth line of it around his wrist. He fingered the fine material and thought about taking it off. He closed his fingers around it. He paused. He thought about Golzine paying less attention to him, he thought about him collapsing suddenly, just after putting his hands on him. He took his hand away.

Ash got up and crossed the room to the window, opening it and looking out. It wasn’t quite the same view from his dream. In reality he could only see a small part of the pathway to the beach, he certainly couldn’t see the majority of it as he had in his dream, and though the light of the sun lent it a different atmosphere than the moon had in his dream, one thing did remain the same, the white flowers. He could see enough of them from his window; they grew alongside the pathway, in some places so thick he couldn’t see green anymore.

 

 

Ash was restless all day. He paced around the house like a caged animal, this was the only other time he had been so restless since he had got there. He stayed well away from the household staff, not wanting to snap at them or say anything unkind in his mood. He was liable to bite anyone who got too close to him.

He kept thinking about going down to the beach right then, but Eiji probably wouldn’t be there, they hadn’t said they would meet, so that would be pointless anyway.

Frustrated, his mind still a jumble of unresolved thoughts, questions, and answers, Ash spent most of his day in the library. He resolutely ignored the guards that had to stay in the room with him and flipped through a wide variety of books. Books on coding, literary theory, poetry, medicine, and European history all held his attention for scant minutes, and then Ash shut them dismissively with an annoyed click of his tongue. He ran unimpressed eyes over the books at his disposable until his gaze snagged on a title. For a moment he stared at it, standing irresolute, and unsure. Then, annoyed that he was being so reluctant he simply reached out and pulled it from the shelf.

_Fairy and Folk Tales: A Look At the Fae and Their Interactions With Man_

Taking the book to a sunny corner of the library, Ash sat, and read.

 

 

“We need to talk.”

Eiji looked at him with wide brown eyes. “Oh, um, okay.”

Ash had been waiting for a while, and when Eiji greeted him he hadn’t replied in kind, he was too impatient. Now they stood together with the sun beating down on them and the salty breeze ruffling their hair. Eiji looked at him with all the openness of someone who trusted implicitly, and he smiled a little hesitantly. Ash felt his heart squeeze. He looked away and took a deep breath.

“Shall we sit?” Eiji asked, gesturing to the shade of the rock. Ash nodded, and Eiji swung his bag off and sat easily. Ash sat, carefully, next to him.

He didn’t speak right away. There were a million questions burning in him, and even though he had spent a whole day in fitful anticipation for this moment, now that it was here he was strangely unsure. He didn’t like being this way. Being hesitant was unlike him, and it put him at odds with himself. Ordinarily he would turn to Eiji and demand concrete answers, but looking into his eyes he knew he couldn’t be like that with him, the realization that it would hurt Ash to hurt Eiji wasn’t new, but it was more pronounced in that moment.

Ash sighed, “There’s something you’re not telling me.” He looked at Eiji, Eiji looked back at him, his expression changing. “And, it has to do with this,” Ash lifted his hand to display the bracelet Eiji had given him.

Eiji looked at him for only a second longer before he took his gaze away. He sat watching the water as Ash watched him for a long moment. Ash didn’t say anything; he only waited. Eiji bit his lip, his brow furrowed, and he plucked at the hem on his shirt.

“Yes,” He said, finally. Eiji slowly brought his gaze up turning to look at Ash again. “You’re right, there’s something I’m not telling you. And, there is something I didn’t – completely tell you about that.” He gestured to Ash’s wrist.

“Will you tell me now?” Ash prompted when silence lapsed again and Eiji made no move to break it or expand on what he had just said.

Eiji sighed. He was looking away again, at the rolled up cuffs of his pants, aimlessly smoothing them down. He had his knees drawn up to his chest and was resting his chin on them. He looked young and small.

“I’m not sure you want to know.” He said at last, lifting his head. “You said before that I know you’re trouble. But, that’s not true. I know you’re _in_ trouble. If anyone’s trouble here, it’s me.”

“Eiji.” Brown eyes met green. “Tell me. Please.”

Eiji bit his lip again, and after another moment, nodded. “Okay.” He said quietly.

He got up and dusted off his clothes. He picked up his bag and then held out a hand for Ash. Ash looked at it for just a second before he clasped it in his own and let Eiji pull him up. When they were both standing Eiji took his hand again, and Ash let him.

They walked over to the outcropping of rocks, where the beach ended, cut off by earth that sloped high over the water. There Eiji paused, he turned to look at Ash.

“You said you trusted me before,” Eiji started, a small crease between his eyebrows formed when they were drawn together, Ash had to urge to reach out and smooth it with his thumb. “And, I – I know you might not after I tell you – everything. But, do you think you can trust me again, one more time?”

Ash looked at him. Eiji’s gaze didn’t waver despite his obvious worry.

“Yes.”

Eiji let out a breath and squeezed his hand. He took a step back and said quietly, “Close your eyes.”

Ash closed them, and felt Eiji gently tug on his hand as he continued to draw him forward. He frowned a little, remembering the wall of rock they were stood in front of, but he took one step, and then another, and then suddenly the light behind his eyes was gone, not like he had stepped into the shade of any shadow on the beach, but like he was in a dark room. The smell of salt water was still present, but it was different, more concentrated, and mixed with – something else.

He felt warm air pass over his skin, “You can open your eyes.” He did.

There was one light source, but then Eiji said something, and suddenly there was more light. Ash blinked once, then again. He felt his mouth drop open, he didn’t know what he had been expecting, but it wasn’t this.

They were in a cave, large white crystals protruded from and were inlaid all over the walls, and they glowed softly illuminating the cave. A few feet to Ash’s left was a pool of water, and to his right was a small space of rock worn smooth by years of water erosion. It was damp and smelled like salt and earth after rainfall. It was warm despite the dampness and above them a small patch of light could be seen, reflecting on the water.

Eiji stood only a foot away watching him take everything in. At some point Ash had let go of his hand to look around, and when he turned back to look at him, for once in his life, he didn’t know what to say.

He thought he should probably panic, go into deep denial, maybe, but he felt like his emotions were on hold. After years of having to deal with things that Ash couldn’t get worked up about, he was very good at freezing his emotions, putting them away to deal with later. He felt that sense of remoteness from his own feelings in that moment; it let him turn back to Eiji calmly.

Eiji smiled tentatively, an obvious attempt at reassurance. He opened his bag, took out the old blanket they had used countless times on the beach and spread it on the rock, then sat and gestured for Ash to sit too. He did, walking forward and gracefully seating himself next to Eiji, finally finding his voice. “Where – are we? What is this?”

 _‘What are you?’_ He didn’t say.

Eiji seemed to hear it anyway, he seemed unsure, pulling his legs up again and wrapping his arms around them. He was making himself small, and Ash wanted to reach out and touch him.

“We’re—“ he paused, licked his lips and tried again. “We’re not on the beach anymore. This cave is –“ another pause. He fixed his gaze firmly on the pool in front of them. “It’s in the realm of the fae, that’s where we are.”

The silence that followed was unlike any Ash had ever experienced. This was absurd. Impossible. But, his mind took that information, and without his consent, rapidly threw all the puzzle pieces of information and odd occurrences together to finally create a picture. It made sense and at the same time it made no sense at all.

Ash looked at Eiji. He looked perfectly ordinary. Dark hair, dark eyes, skin warm brown, and sporting tan lines that were similar, if more attractive, than Ash’s. He was sweet and kind, his smile warmed Ash from the inside out, and when Eiji _looked_ at him –

‘ _Fae._ ’

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” Eiji was saying, his voice drawing Ash out from his reverie. He still didn’t look at him. “But, I guess lying is how this all started anyway.”

Ash was surprised by how calm he felt, it settled more firmly over him like a second skin, letting him say again, “Tell me. Please.”

Eiji took a deep breath. He tightened his hold on his legs, and then exhaled slowly.

“I never knew my father,” Eiji began. “Until I was ten, when he came for me.”

 

 

It was actually Eiji’s tenth birthday when he first met his father, when he took him.

Eiji remembered going to the park with his mom, with her and his sister – half sister. His mother had remarried, and while her husband was kind to him, Eiji knew he wasn’t really his dad. He had been playing with his sister; they were playing catch. They were working on her aim, Eiji had been trying to tell her that underhand passes would work better since they were standing close together, but she insisted on tossing overhand, and threw the ball too far. He had gone to get it, stepping into the shade of the trees in the small wood.

He hadn’t meant to go in. Eiji picked up the ball and turned but that was when he heard the music. It wasn’t like anything he had ever heard before, and he wanted to hear more. Eiji hadn’t even though about it, he didn’t remember making the decision to walk into the trees, but that was what he did. He followed the music for a long time, and suddenly he was in a little clearing with trees all around him that had trunks that were at least five times as big as he was, and except for the clearing, their branches grew so long with so many leaves they blocked out the sun.

All at once Eiji realized he was lost. He remembered turning from one direction to the other, looking round and around, making a small circle. When he stood still again he had felt very clearly a sudden presence at his back. With the bravery only children possessed, he had turned. A man stood there, watching him.

He couldn’t hear the music anymore, and he didn’t know how he knew it had come from the man, but he knew. The man looked just the way Eiji’s mom had described him. His skin was dark, the deepest brown he had ever seen, his hair was like Eiji’s, but the most striking part of him, the thing Eiji first noticed were his eyes. They were completely black. That, Eiji’s mom hadn’t mentioned.

“My son,” he had said, and held out his hand.

Like he had known the music had come from this man, Eiji also knew the truth of those two words. It was his father. Eiji had taken his hand.

His father taught Eiji many things, it felt like years passed, but time in the fae was a funny thing. He taught Eiji the importance of True Names, the magic of service freely given, the importance of reciprocity, and why he was so important to him.

Fairies cannot tell lies. But Eiji, he was half human, and he could lie.

He learned magic of his own. All fairies knew some of it. Eiji was not exceptionally gifted, but it was interesting for his father to know that even though a great deal of what restricted fairies didn’t apply to him, he could still use some of their gifts.

Eiji’s father spent years teaching him the ins and outs of court politics, the intrigues, the hierarchy, and the structure. He groomed Eiji to be the perfect spy for him, the perfect pawn. Because fairies are immortal, age did not have the same meaning for them, and it meant nothing to them that by mortal reckoning Eiji was only about ten when his father brought him to court.

And, perhaps it was because he was so young that he adopted so quickly, or maybe it was part of the magic of the place that he quickly found everything about the fae and his life normal. Even their appearance, which only unsettled Eiji the first time he saw them, now seemed ordinary, only he was a little strange. He knew everyone took note of it, but his father was in a position that meant no one would dare say anything about Eiji within earshot. But everyone knew what he was, and of course, not everyone was happy about it.

For years Eiji did everything his father asked of him, and as time passed, he found it harder and harder to remember his life as a mortal. It was like trying to hold water in his cupped hands, he had it one moment, and then it slid from his mind the next. He felt constantly that there was somewhere he should be, something he should do, but then he remembered that he had only his father, and that feeling receded to the back of his mind.

“Remember Ash; I asked you if you believe in fate? You said you don’t, but I do.”

The day Eiji met Kaoru felt like fate. He wasn’t supposed to go to the mortal realm, and he normally didn’t want to anyway, it made his head feel funny, but that day, he did.

Kaoru had wandered close to the veil chasing a rabbit. He wasn’t like anyone Eiji had ever seen, even among his time with the fae. He was so fair; with blonde hair so pale it was almost silver. He looked a bit younger than Eiji was, or seemed anyway, and without thinking Eiji crossed the veil to him. He remembered how wide Kaoru’s eyes were when he saw Eiji, and the sweet way he smiled and asked if Eiji wanted to play.

Eiji thought he must have seemed odd to Kaoru, but he was never unkind to him. Kaoru came to see him when he could, now and again when he was little, and then more frequently as he got older. He brought Eiji gifts in his visits, toys, sweets, and sometimes books. He kept giving Eiji things, and he had to give him something in return. He gave him flowers, white camellias.

He had learned early that part of his magic lay in his affinity with plants. Magic was easier to wield when he could do it through plants, it was especially powerful if the plants meant something. White Camellias for instance, they meant adoration, and the one they were given to was “well-liked.” Giving those flowers to Kaoru were like giving him lucky charms, he would have the best days when he received those flowers, that was the magic Eiji put into them, because he wanted to, of course, but he also had to, he was bound by the laws of the fae. Fair return was law.

It was years before Kaoru really understood what Eiji was. He remembered sitting in the place mortal realm gave way to fae and Kaoru turning to him saying, “You’re magic, aren’t you?”

By then Eiji was probably about twelve years old, and Kaoru was now the same age as him. He didn’t have to tell Kaoru the truth, of course, he had spent years perfecting the art of presenting lies in such a way that they seemed to be truths, but he hadn’t wanted to do that to Kaoru, so instead he has looked him in the eye and said seriously, “Yes.”

Kaoru had held his gaze for a short moment and then smiled.

Eiji wasn’t always there when Kaoru went looking for him, but it didn’t discourage him even when he didn’t see Eiji for months at a time. He always came back, and eventually so did Eiji.

In the time spent with Kaoru, Eiji felt more like himself than he had since coming into the realm of the fae. It was like ice was thawing off his heart, and he remembered what it was like to simply bask in the happiness of another. Kaoru was bright and lively, and he made Eiji remember what it was to be human.

As accurately as Eiji could judge, he had been around fifteen when Kaoru had come to him telling him he was sick.

Eiji hadn’t understood at first, and had offered him simple medicinal herbs that Kaoru had accepted with a sad smile, and told him, “No, not like that. Ei-chan, I’m – I’m dying. The doctors say they caught it too late, there’s nothing they can do.”

He had said it gently, as if he were worried about hurting _Eiji_. Eiji remembered the tightening of his chest at Kaoru’s words, the way his mind spun, and then frantically ran through all the cures he knew. He was of the fae; there must be something he could do.

“I can help you,” Eiji had said, reaching out and taking Kaoru’s hand.

He remembered the wide-eyed look of surprise on his face; it was the first time Eiji had touched him. He still remembered the way his heart had squeezed at the soft look that had come over his face after that. If Eiji closed his eyes, he could still feel the soft pressure of Kaoru’s lips on his cheek.

He had resolved to do something. He swore it. He had begun to try and get information from his father. Which was no easy task, because he hadn’t been able to simply say, “How do I save a mortal from death?” But, within only a few months he had his answer. And it lay with the Queen of the Fairies.

“I didn’t know that my questions had attracted attention. And, that a trap had been laid for me, I wasn’t thinking straight. I should have known it was too easy.”

After that Kaoru still came to visit him, but less frequently. “I don’t know how many more times I can come see you.” He had smiled apologetically.

That was all Eiji had needed to solidify his plan. “Meet me here in a week.”

During the summer solstice, a time of great celebration among the fae, Eiji took his opportunity to steal the sceptre of the Queen. He had managed to establish connections in his time at court that he called to use then. It hadn’t been easy, but he hadn’t realized it wasn’t entirely his own doing that he finally managed to take the sceptre.

He had fled with his ill-gotten gains the moment he had it. Eiji had gone to meet Kaoru, anxiously waiting for him. He waited, and waited, and waited. When there finally came the sound of footfalls, it was the Queen’s Guard, come to arrest a criminal, a thief.

Eiji spent an immeasurable amount of time awaiting his sentencing. Time was funny in the realm of the fae, and they warped it to stretch his days so they were insufferably long. In all that time Eiji hardly thought about his own fate, all he could think of was Kaoru, what had happened to him? Had the Court found him? Was he being held too? Was he someone’s mortal pet? Eiji paced, he raged, and he wept bitterly because if something did happen to Kaoru, it would be all Eiji’s fault.

When Eiji was finally summoned to appear before the Court, he went with a quiet desperation. He only vaguely remembered passing faces, disapproving stares, smug smiles, and whispers as he was brought before the Queen. He was surprised to see his father there, looking expressionless and dispassionate, just as Eiji was accustomed to seeing him. He listened as the court murmured, caught snatches of conversations where they detailed all his possible punishments, of which death was the most merciful.

“You know why you have been brought here.” Said a voice Eiji had only heard a handful of times. The Queen’s voice was deep and resounding, and Eiji didn’t dare lift his gaze to meet hers. He had been marched to the Queen, two members of her guard gripping his arms with bruising strength. “We shall waste no time detailing your crimes, instead We now sentence you.” Eiji waited, braced himself, despair settling in him like the weight of a stone. “Your sire has pleaded for you, and We are inclined to be merciful. We sentence you thusly: We exile you from Our lands, and We curse you.”

Here Eiji paused, Ash was still watching him, his green eyes hadn’t moved from Eiji’s face since he began speaking. Eiji wavered in that moment, torn between the truth and one more lie.

“I don’t remember what the curse was.”

_‘You who would risk all for the love of a mortal, should another you love face mortal peril; you will not lift a finger to help them. You will watch and stretch not your hand to aid them.’ The Queen had paused then; she rose gracefully from where she sat on a throne of twisted branches that was as wild as the look in her dark eyes. She had walked to Eiji, pulling a red rose from a bush as she did. She lifted his chin up with the flower so he had to look at her face. She was beautiful, and terrible, and Eiji suddenly shook, a delayed response to the incredible danger he was in. “Should you succeed in breaking this curse,” she lifted the rose which suddenly shone, turning into a bright silver dagger in her hand, “the magic of your father shall be burned from your body. You will nevermore use his gifts, at the end of your days you will perish as a mortal among mortals._

_We will not suffer you to set foot in Our realm again, heed Us for We will not show mercy twice.”_

_She had brought the dagger down with an inhuman speed, stabbing Eiji through the heart, and his vision had gone black, but not before he had screamed at the searing pain._

“You don’t?”

“No.”

 

 

Silence lapsed. Eiji sat looking into the water, his eyes unfocused, still caught up in his own story. Ash sat beside him, he didn’t know what to think. It was an incredible story, and the craziest part of it was that it almost made sense. But, how could he accept it as truth? It wasn’t possible. Nothing like what Eiji described existed, fairies, magic, curses, those were things in children’s stories, in tales told ages ago to explain the disappearances of young wives and the sudden deaths of seemingly healthy children. They weren’t real, because if they were real, what did that mean for everything else he had taken to be irrefutable truth?

The silence stretched, neither of them said anything for a very long time. Ash didn’t know how much time passed. He turned Eiji’s story over in his mind again and again, and he tried not to let it explain away his past experiences. He felt trapped in a sort of liminal space of reasoning, balanced on a precarious edge, where accepting one thing as truth would alter something else irrefutably. Either Eiji was –what he said he was, or, he was completely insane. To be perfectly honest, Ash wasn’t sure which one he was more willing to believe. He didn’t know which one seemed more likely in that moment. He wanted to believe Eiji, earnest sweet Eiji, but Ash was just a punk from New York, how was he supposed to accept a story like the one he had just heard?

As if he could hear his thoughts, Eiji sighed a little and said quietly, “You don’t believe me.”

Ash hesitated for only a second before he said. “…No.”

Eiji shook his head, he pointed to the wall across from them, “How did we get here? You saw the cliff we were standing by, you know you only walked forward, how would that be possible?”

That was true. Ash didn’t have an explanation for that. And there was the glowing crystal, but Ash didn’t mention that, instead he said, “Well, do some magic or something then.”

Eiji looked a little taken aback; he looked around and bit his lip. “I don’t –I can’t make fire or summon things, it’s not that kind of magic, the most I can do like that is heal.” He paused, his voice soft as he said, “That time you were hurt, I wanted very much to heal you.”

“Well,” Ash said after a beat, “if healing is what you can do –“ He didn’t finish his thought, just looked around him. On the wall to his right crystal was sprouting from rock, and, knowing exactly how much pressure to apply, Ash scrapped the back of his forearm along it. He broke skin, just barely drawing blood. He didn’t make a sound as he did it; it was Eiji who gasped, as if he were the one in pain.

“What are you doing?” Eiji demanded, shifting closer to him.

“You said you could heal,” Ash said easily, he offered Eiji his arm and raised an eyebrow.

Eiji gave him a look. “Idiot.” He grumbled. “I didn’t mean for you to injure yourself. My magic isn’t a party trick.” But, Eiji took his arm, holding it carefully between his hands. He passed his hand over the air just above the scratch and then frowned. “I need something from you.”

“What?”

“Something, it doesn’t have to be big – hair, give me a strand of your hair.”

Feeling increasingly sceptical, Ash pulled a strand of hair out and carefully placed it in Eiji’s outstretched hand. He took it, still holding Ash’s arm in his other hand, he blew softly on the scrape, and pressed his hand to it.

It felt like Ash’s arm had been run under cool water, he shivered, and when Eiji took his hand away, his arm was fine.

Ash stared.

Eiji gently withdrew his hands, and Ash slowly took his arm back, he lifted it up to his eyes, he brought it away, and then ran his over fingers over the length of now smooth skin he had broken only minutes ago. He had felt the sting of pain as the crystal had dug in; he had seen the blood well. But now, he ran his fingers along the skin of his forearm over and over, it was perfectly fine, as if nothing had ever happened. There wasn’t even a scar.

He looked at Eiji in wonder. “You –“ He didn’t know what to say. A million ways to finish, to continue that sentence crowded his mouth, none of them seemed right. What did you say when your friend revealed they were actually part fairy and then healed a cut for you? He settled for, softly, but with feeling, “Holy shit.”

Eiji smiled a little, but he still looked uneasy. “Please don’t do anything like that again. My magic is limited, if it weren’t I could just wave my hand,” Eiji did, demonstrating, “and solve all your problems, but I can’t.”

Ash shook his head. “I wouldn’t have asked you to, I don’t expect anyone to solve my problems for me.” Eiji finally turned to meet his gaze. “This is crazy.” Ash said abruptly. “I believe you,” he still held his recently healed forearm, “but, it’s just –“ He gestured, “You know?”

“Yeah, I guess I do, a little.”

Crazy was right. It was crazy, absolutely insane. Impossible. It shouldn’t be possible, anyway. But, here was proof looking him right in the eyes, and he couldn’t deny it anymore. There was no way to refute what he had just seen, just experienced. This was real. That, or maybe he was dreaming. Maybe that time Golzine had beat him had left him in a coma and this was all some elaborate fantasy his mind had conjured. Ash almost smiled at that thought, that would be easier to believe, but truth was stranger than fiction, as they say, and maybe this really was his reality now. God, what were the implications of this reality?

Ash took a deep breath, and then let it out. “So, was it you?” Eiji looked at him quizzically, “You know, Golzine’s heart attack, and everything.”

“Who?”

Ash looked into Eiji’s clear guileless eyes, he really didn’t know.

“Wait,” Eiji said. “Did something happen?”

Ash hesitated, and then realized, there was no point. What was the point of keeping his problems secret now? In the face of everything Eiji had just told him, it was only fair that Ash reciprocate, and it wasn’t like he would scare Eiji away with his mundane, very human issues. So, Ash told him. He explained about Golzine, and the things that had been happening.

“He suddenly just, got sick, night after night. Or he just didn’t want anything to do with me, and then he had that heart attack, that was you, wasn’t it?”

Eiji was fiddling with the edge of the blanket they sat on; now a little damp from the water that slicked the ground beneath them. “Well, indirectly, yes.” Eiji bit the inside of his cheek, and then said, “I didn’t make that specifically happen, I just gave you luck, and then protection.”

“When you gave me this,” Ash lifted his left hand, showing Eiji the bracelet. “There was this piece of red paper, with something written on it, it disappeared, what was that?”

“Oh, well,” Eiji said, shifting a little, “I knew you needed protection from someone. The red paper was the strongest charm I could give you, you said it gave someone a heart attack?” Ash nodded, and Eiji’s expression was a little grim. “It would have been that charm that caused it. It reflects malicious intent.” Ash thought about the way Golzine had looked at him, about the repulsive weight of his hands on Ash’s person, he was only surprised it hadn’t killed him. “The bracelet is like that to a much lesser degree.” Eiji continued, Ash blinked and focused on him again.

“Why can’t anyone see it?”

Eiji gave him a look, like he was asking something that was obvious. “Why should they? It has nothing to do with them.”

“Oh.” Said Ash. There wasn’t really anything he could say to that. He laughed a little, shaking his head, “So, that’s the type of thing you can do, huh?”

Eiji nodded, he glanced up at him. “Yes, but, to do anything like that it has to be done as fair return. Remember when you gave me my necklace back? I gave you back luck, three fold.” His brows drew together, and he looked troubled. “I meant to give you more, find a way to get you to help me again, once I realized you _needed_ it, but, I – I just forgot. That night you let me take your picture again, I just –“ Eiji looked away, guilty, face flushed. “I’m so sorry, Ash. If I had remembered, you never would have been hurt.”

Ash looked at him in surprise, and then smiled a little. “Dummy. Why would you apologize for something like that? You did help me. Without you, who knows what else would have happened to me. Without you, I might not even have made it passed that first day.” Ash reached out and put his hand over Eiji’s. Eiji looked down at their hands, and then, slowly, brought his gaze up to meet Ash’s.

There were questions yet that needed answers, and Ash meant to ask them, he did. But, his thoughts scattered looking into big brown eyes. Maybe it was because Eiji was magic that Ash felt pulled to him. Wasn’t that something the fae were known for? Stealing hearts, luring humans away to – to what, he didn’t know, once the person was caught, the story ended, no one ever said what happened to those who were caught by the fae. The stories were usually told by those left behind, they were cautionary tales, wives running away with immortal lovers, or returning to the moon, but they never talked about the possibility of living freely with your otherworldly lover. About taking their hand, about the strange affinity that pulls you inexorably to them, about the warmth of their smile, or the feeling of something cracking and spilling in your chest when suddenly it’s not their strangeness or newness that’s compelling, it’s them, simply them.

“I don’t know if I can do anything to help you, but if I can, I want to.” Eiji said, softly, earnestly.

“You don’t have to do anything else, just – stay with me, being my friend is enough.” Eiji turned his hand under Ash’s; they laced their fingers together.

“’Friend’?”

He didn’t know when it had happened, but they were suddenly very close together, Ash could see the dark sweep of Eiji’s eyelashes, the shadow they cast over his cheeks.

They were there again, on the precipice. Ash felt them balanced on the edge, and suddenly he couldn’t remember why stepping off was a bad idea. It was obviously the very good idea, the best. Ash suspected he wouldn’t fall, he would fly, and he very much wanted to test his theory.

“You said that, that you wanted to be friends.” Ash said, his voice coming out more softly than he had met it to.

“I did. I do.” Eiji replied, his voice just as soft.

Ash watched Eiji’s mouth shape those words, admiring the bow of his lips. He brought his gaze up to Eiji’s again; they looked at each other for a moment. The air between them disappearing, replaced by anticipation, inevitability. As it always was with them, they were simply drawn together, irresistibly.

The kiss happened on a sweet sigh from Eiji. They were both tentative, a little unsure, and after only the briefest contact, they drew away, looking at each other. They both smiled, and kissed again. Eiji’s lips were soft and dry, and he tasted sweeter than Ash could have imagined, if he had let himself imagine it, or dared to.

Their mouths moved slowly, gradually growing comfortable, both of them reassured that the other wanted the kiss, had been waiting for it not just since they had leaned in, but for days now.

Ash felt his heart beat in his chest. He felt his body alive in a way it hadn’t been since – since – it had never been. This particular feeling was unlike anything he had ever experienced, this sense of profound rightness, of longing that deepened even as it was satisfied. The more he had, the more he wanted. In that moment, Ash was like any young man kissing with all the feeling in his heart, he wasn’t prodigy or genius, he wasn’t gang leader or street punk, he was just Ash, and that was the sweetest part of it, because that was exactly what drew Eiji to him.

Eiji’s hands in his hair, the taste of his mouth, the hesitant slide of his tongue, it was all new and wonderful. It was the middle of summer, and the breeze blew warm, but only now did Ash truly feel the heat. If he could have any moment forever, he would have this one.

They kissed for long moments, both of them eventually attempting to pull back, to pause when they thought maybe they should, and being drawn back in. They couldn’t seem to help themselves, it was like a dam had been released, and they were helpless to stop its flow.

When they did finally pull away, it was because their lips were starting to numb. They leaned their foreheads together, and caught their breaths, they kept catching each other’s eye and laughing, breathless, elated. This feeling in Ash’s chest, it was like a young bird, joyous, full of promise, thrilled at the prospect of flight.

Eiji’s lips pressed softly to the corner of his mouth, and then he was leaning back, looking at him, everything in his expression. Ash thought his expression must be mirrored on his own face, ridiculously happy, a little unsure, and shy. He felt very young suddenly, or maybe it was that he felt his own age for the first time in a long time.

The atmosphere was suddenly a bit awkward, in a way it hadn’t ever been, and Ash felt mounting pressure to do something, anything.

“My back kind of hurts.” He said, by way of explanation, before he shifted and lay down.

Eiji looked at him, a little surprised, and reached for his bag. He took out the bottles of water and other things Ash couldn’t properly see, and then handed the bag to Ash. “For your head,” Eiji said, gesturing.

“Thanks,” said Ash, “pass me mine?” Eiji did, and Ash took out a few of his own things, and placed the bag by his own head then looked at Eiji again. He sat beside Ash, obviously unsure. Ash smiled, and put a hand out to him. He looked surprised again, but his expression was made sweeter by the colour deepening in his cheeks. Ash felt absurdly pleased when Eiji accepted his hand, letting himself be pulled gently down, and stretching out beside him, their hands linked.

They spent some time like that. Ash’s thoughts drifted, he collected them lazily, pulling them one by one, patiently, from the stream of his consciousness, ordering them unhurriedly. He let himself be distracted by the warmth of Eiji all along his left side, by the feel of his hand, his thumb gently caressing the back of Ash’s hand.

His hand was made of a collection of nerves that had never done a damn thing before in his life, but now they couldn’t seem to stop reminding him that he was actually holding Eiji’s hand.

After another little while, Ash broke the silence. “There’s something else I should tell you.”

Eiji turned his head to look at him.

“I said that Golzine blackmailed me to come here, to stay with him, but I didn’t tell you why.” Ash said. “It’s my brother, Golzine has my brother.” Eiji’s grip on his hand tightened, Ash could practically see all the ways Eiji didn’t know what to say to that when he looked at him. He gave Eiji a wry smile and said, “I have a plan to get him back.”

“Good,” said Eiji. “How can I help?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I think I'm just going to stop bullshitting both of us by pretending this fic is going to be updated on some kind of "schedule." It super isn't. I suspect I'll be getting busier, and I have other time sensitive Banana Fish things I need to write ("Need to," I say, like I didn't actively choose everything I've committed myself to), so this might have to take a backseat. 
> 
> That said, I hope you'll bear with me! I'll do my best! ᕙ(⇀‸↼')ᕗ
> 
> Wanna talk Banana Fish? Gush about Hozier's music? (I swear if I get even one person into his music, I will consider myself accomplished, this fic is just a clever ruse to push his music on everyone.) Or just into my nonsense? Find me on [tumblr](nightofviolet.tumblr.com)!


	7. Under Pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heist, heist, baby!

Ash paced in his room. He had managed to dig up a watch, and stared at it as his mind ran through his plan over and over again.

“It’ll work. It’ll work, it’ll work,” he muttered, keeping an eye on the time. He walked quietly to the door, he didn’t think he’d hear footsteps, but he strained to listen anyway.

Ever since Golzine had gotten sick, Ash’s door had started being locked at night. An obvious show of his weakness, it put a bit of a wrench in his plans, but Ash was nothing if not resourceful. Looking at the watch again he waited as the time finally came. Knowing his door would be unlocked at that moment, Ash carefully opened it, slipped out, and quietly closed it behind him.

He walked confidently down the hall to Golzine’s room. If things went wrong and someone saw him, it was better that he look confident, and like he belonged there, rather than like he was trying to sneak around. He saw no one however, the halls were empty, and the door to Golzine’s room was unguarded. Ash paused for half a second by the door, he held his breath, and pushed on the handle. It went smoothly, and the door gave without any resistance.

Now Ash was on high alert. He stood by the door for a moment listening hard, and didn’t move. He could make out the faint sound of deep breathing, and he felt his shoulders relax just a fraction.

_“I have a sedative I can give him,” said Alba urgently, quietly as they sat together on Ash’s bed. “It should put him in a heavy enough sleep, the problem is getting your stuff in and out of the house.”_

_Ash shook his head. “I took care of it.”_

_“What?” Alba looked equal parts surprised and impressed. “How did you manage that?”_

_Ash smiled. “I have friends.”_

_Alba didn’t push him, just nodded. “Okay, then I’ll stall the guard, you need to get into the room before he gets there, and then hide until I go. I’ll tap on the closet door twice if the coast is clear.”_

Walking inside Ash got his first good look at Golzine’s room. He hadn’t really been in there before, there was a sitting room, which was the part he was currently in, and passed the door that was ajar right in front of him was Golzine’s room. It was decorated in a mix of old European styles, the focus on opulence and wealth that seemed to speak of excess rather than class. There were ornate end tables and fresh flowers, high backed chairs, and carved, polished wooden handles, an extravagant fireplace that he didn’t doubt worked, and refurbished antique furniture. Jesus, it was so excessive, and stupid for a beach house.

Ash walked soundlessly into Golzine’s bedroom. He was fast asleep. He looked older when he slept, you could almost mistake him for harmless like that, but Ash knew better than anyone he was the exact opposite. Golzine was like any other sleeping predator, and Ash couldn’t let his guard down.

Ash hid in the closet, and waited. He could just barely see the watch in the gloom, but if he held it up to the light of the crack between the frame and the door he could just make out the face. Alba walked in only two minutes later.

She set her bag down on a chair by the window and went over to the closet. Two taps. Ash quietly opened the door.

“All clear.” Alba spoke just loud enough to be heard.

Ash nodded, and she motioned for Ash to move aside, which he did. Then she stepped into the closet, pushed passed the coats that hung along the left side, and pulled up a black duffel bag. Ash gave her a thumbs up, and took it. He pulled on the zipper carefully and quietly. 

Inside were all the things he had asked Alba to get, including some extra stuff he had needed after a few new complications. One of the most important things he needed lay on top of the others, a phone. Ash turned it on and tested it; it seemed to work fine and should be perfect for what he needed. He pocketed it, and then took a quick inventory. Satisfied that everything was there, Ash scanned the room. If he knew Golzine, and he had taken pains to know him as well as he did, what Ash was looking for would be held behind the painting he was currently staring at.

Picking up his equipment, Ash walked over to a sizeable painting sitting about four feet from the bed. It was an old painting of a Greek myth, Zeus disguised as a swan to seduce Leda. Ash carefully lifted the frame to the side after an inspection to its sides; Alba came over to help him put it quietly on the ground. Bingo. Sitting behind the painting Ash was sure Golzine fancied himself kin to, was a safe.

Ash pulled out one of the devices from the duffel bag, black and about the size of a small shoebox, it lit up with little red lights once it was turned on. Ash took a second to look it over and then picked up a remote from the bag. Ash attached a small device that looked like a sleek silver glasses case beside the screen of the safe, it sat there looking nondescript as he turned his attention to something else. Alba had moved to stand by the door; she was effectively acting as lookout while Ash worked with the equipment. Once it was set up, the lights began to slowly turn green, one at a time as a dial on the side showed a series of numbers that changed so rapidly it was impossible to keep track of them.

While that device did its job Ash took out the phone. As quickly as he could, he broke it open. One of the things he had asked for were tools to help him do just that, and a few things to improve the phone. He took out the SIM and memory cards and replaced them with others, and then he tinkered with it until it was what he needed and closed it back up. Turning it back on, he looked through it; it should work. No, it would definitely work.

There was just one more red light left that needed to turn green, and while he waited for that, Ash took out a length of rope, a harness, and clips from the bag. He went over to the window, carefully pulling the doors open and stepped onto the balcony. He attached one end of the rope there to the balustrade, and set the end down along with the harness, then went back inside pulling the doors closed quietly. The lights were all green; there was a soft beep from the device and a louder click from the safe. Ash turned reflexively to Golzine, but he didn’t stir.

Before he opened it, he worked with the silencer he had attached to the door of the safe, then slowly pulled it open. He immediately saw what he was looking for. It was a laptop. Golzine, underworld crime boss that he was, never carried this laptop around with him, or left it out in the open. Ash took it and sat on the floor by the safe. He forgot about Alba and Golzine and the very exposed and dangerous position he was in, he pulled his glasses from his pocket and began to work.

Hacking into the computer was easy, sorting through the information wasn’t exactly difficult, but it would be time consuming. The guards knew that Alba usually stayed in the room with Golzine until he slept which, since the heart attack, was usually around 11, and it was currently 10:32.

_“I’ve stayed later than that once,” Alba said. “It was only two minutes after eleven, and then one of his guys came in to get me.”_

There was so much crap on this computer. Ash hooked up one of the other devices he had to it and typed furiously. He couldn’t simply look through the laptop with a word search for “Griffin” or even “Callenreese.” Ash knew the information he wanted would be on here, but it would all be coded.

10:42

Ten minutes gone by, Ash grit his teeth.

10:47

His posture was tense, his whole body weighed down with tension.

10:51

Ash felt himself start to sweat. He was hardly blinking now, his fingers hurt with how hard and fast he was typing, but he didn’t even register it. His eyes flew across the screen. He pulled out the phone and hooked it up to the laptop. He moved folders around and downloaded them onto the phone.

10:52.

Ash kept looking through files. Somewhere in his mind he noticed the constant anxious looks Alba shot him, but he didn’t have time to try and calm her down or reassure her. He had to be thorough.

10:54.

He activated the other device he had attached to the laptop; it began rapidly erasing all traces of his activity.

10:56.

That done he powered down the laptop, shut it, and quickly put it back. Closing the door to the safe the little contraption he had attached to the door began to beep quietly, and the lock-picking instrument ran numbers and flashed colours again. Resetting the safe, and silencing the automatic alarm that was triggered unless another code was entered both when the safe was opened, and closed.

10:58.

Ash finally turned to Alba who was looking at him with wide eyes. He motioned sharply, and she practically ran over to him. They put everything away as quietly and carefully as they could back in the bag. He could see her hands shake as they put the painting back, Ash zipped up the bag, and then went quickly to the window.

10:59.

Opening it again, and soundlessly stepping onto the balcony Ash wrapped the harness around himself, his fingers working with an almost uncanny deftness. Ash slung the bag across his chest, didn’t bother to check the rope when he attached his clip to it, and climbed over the balcony.

11:00.

Ash began to rappel down the slide of the house, the rope slipping through his bare hands because he didn’t have time to slip on the gloves he had requested. He made bigger jumps than was probably wise as he went down, he saw Alba’s anxious face get smaller and smaller. He didn’t have time to think about how ridiculous this was, or how much like a bad _Mission Impossible_ movie he looked like; he practically flew down the side of the wall.

11:01.

He made it to the ground, and waved, Alba unclipped the rope from the balcony. He thought she might have fumbled, it took longer than he thought was strictly necessary, but he didn’t blame her. As soon as she let go, Ash saw her turn suddenly away, her whole body jerked in surprise. _Shit._ Ash grabbed the rope and dove for the nearest shadow, which was behind some shrubs in the garden Golzine’s window overlooked. 

From his hiding place Ash could see one of Golzine’s men come out to the balcony, gun drawn, and peered into the darkness. Ash felt his jaw clench and hoped nothing had happened to Alba. The man scanned the area for another few seconds and then went back into the room, closing the doors as he went. Ash stayed where he was for only a second longer before he darted out and ran along the side of the house. He hugged the wall, careful of windows, as he went. He checked his watch. 

11:02

Ash carefully made his way to the back entrance, the one he went through every time he came back from the beach. It was connected to the kitchen. There he saw Jean Luca, one of the cooks, smoking. He spotted Ash and held up a hand, he turned slightly and said something quietly. He put his cigarette out in an ashtray on the windowsill, and then turned back to Ash and motioned for him to come in. The kitchen was empty save for Ash, Jean Luca, and his wife, Sarah.

“Everything okay?” Jean Luca asked quietly.

Ash nodded. They both nodded in return. Sarah motioned him over to a small trolley. Ash quickly stuffed the rope and harness back into the duffel bag, taking off his glasses too, and walked over. Pushing aside the white linen dress of the trolley, Ash climbed into the compartment underneath. He heard the rustle of dishware being placed onto the tray above him, and then they started moving.

 _“I need to ask you two for something.” Ash said, Jean Luca and Sarah looked at him expectantly. He took a deep breath; he couldn’t do this alone. “It’s to help me get out of here, and it means doing something that might get you in trouble with Golzine."_

_The couple exchanged a look. Sarah said something in rapid Italian. Jean Luca replied a little more hesitantly, but Sarah shook her head, repeating what she had said, then turned back to Ash. She looked him directly in the eye._

_“Golzine is bad man,” she started. “We can do_ neinte, _we work for one year.” She pursed her lips, a new look coming into her eyes. “Back home, I -_ conosceva, come si dice – “

 “ _Know_.” Jean Luca supplied, and she nodded.

“ _– know man like him. Bad. Bad things. To girls,” her eyes watered, and she blinked them clear, “to boys. We help you.”_

_Jean Luca put a hand on his wife’s shoulder. They both looked at Ash with determined expressions. He felt his stomach tighten with the understanding that something had happened to them too. He felt the weight of responsibility for them, when this was done he would try to help them too. He felt kinship too._

_“Thank you.” He said._

The trolley, with Ash hidden in it, was pushed to the service elevator. Ash had never been happier that the house’s former owner had one installed. They got off on the second floor, and kept going. Here Ash listened hard, they stopped for a moment, he heard them say something faintly to each other, and then keep going. Ash heard another set of footsteps, this pair coming toward them. Suddenly Jean Luca spoke again.

“Ah, excuse me – “

Jean Luca’s voice grew distant, the guard he was speaking to stopping to talk with him. That would be Mark, the guard Ash knew would be patrolling the hallway of his room at exactly 11:08. 

_“I will take him,” Jean Luca had said. He made a pushing motion and said something to his wife, but she shook her head. She said something that neither of them was able to adequately translate for Ash, something about men stopping for men, which Ash thought he understood the gist of._

Sarah pushed him and the trolley with seeming ease, she didn’t falter. She tapped sharply on the top of the trolley once, and Ash scrambled out. Sarah passed him two long pins, one flat, the other slender, and Ash got to work on the door. It opened with a soft click and they went in. Ash grabbed the things from under the trolley and stuffed them under the bed. He passed the pins back to Sarah; she took them, and surprised Ash with a sudden embrace. She was small, maybe an inch or so taller than five feet, and her arms went right around his middle. Then just as abruptly, she let go, smiled, and left, taking the trolley with her. Ash stood by the door and listened hard for a faint click, and then relaxed.

His shoulders dropped, and he went to sit on the bed. He felt wrung out; he was coming down from all the adrenaline that had just flooded his system. He wanted very badly to just lie in bed and catch his breath, but he didn’t have time. He pulled the phone from his pocket and began to work.

Looking through the files, there were five possible locations. He couldn’t tell from this information which one it was, but at one of those locations was Griffin, his brother.

Ash opened up the text, and sent a message to two numbers. One went to Shorter, and one went to Alex. Now, he could only wait again.

 

 

The next morning meant more manoeuvring. Jean Luca sent Sofia up with the trolley for Ash’s breakfast. Before she could take it back down, Ash got up and casually blocked her path.

“Oh, Sofia, I wanted to ask you something.”

She gave him a flat look, waiting.

“Do you like it here? By the beach?”

Her expression didn’t really change, Ash thought she might look confused or surprised by the question, but she didn’t even raise an eyebrow. She did however look impatient.

“No.” She said, and made to leave.

“Here, I’ll take that, Sofia. I have to head down to the kitchen anyway.” Alba appeared just then, saving Ash from having to try and small talk with Sofia again, which was like trying to engage a rock.

Sofia just shrugged, not even a thank you, and left. Ash and Alba watched her go, when her footsteps faded they both breathed a sigh of relief.

“Are you alright?” Ash asked.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Alba closed the door and turned toward him.

“I saw the guard in the room after I left, I was worried he did something to you.”

“Oh, that,” Alba smiled a little. “He scared the shit out of me, but apart from that no. I told him I was just letting in a little fresh air. I don’t think he believed me, but he’s not very bright, so he just looked around a little, and then we left.”

Ash nodded, relieved. “And, Golzine?" 

Alba shrugged, “A little groggy, but he mixed alcohol with his medication and I implied that could have done it.” She paused. “He’s getting his old strength back, but I think he’s going to be leaving soon to see some doctors.”

“Good. The less time he spends here, the better.” Ash bent to retrieve the duffel bag of equipment and stashed it under the trolley, then sat down and pulled the tray toward himself. “Has he made any definite plans yet?" 

“Not as far as I know. He still has some appointments here, but since he doesn’t exactly have to worry about getting a good deal on plane tickets, he could leave whenever.”

Ash chewed thoughtfully. It didn’t really matter whether or not Golzine stayed or left for Ash to continue his work, but things were in motion now, and they would only pick up momentum.

He looked up suddenly. “What?”

“Nothing,” Alba said, but she was smiling. She nodded toward the tray, “It’s nice to see you have an appetite.”

 Ash looked down too. He had only just started eating, but he was already done about half of what was sent up for him. He shrugged eloquently.

“I haven’t eaten in over twelve hours.”

Alba was still smiling. “You kind of remind me of my brother. You blinked and all his food was gone. But, maybe all guys eat like that, especially young ones. It’s good though, you need to eat.” She went over and grabbed the handle of the trolley. “I should get going. You’re sure the Russos will know what to do with this stuff?”

 Ash nodded. That morning he had done some networking and found some contacts in the area. The Russos would smuggle the stuff out like they had smuggled it in, when they went grocery shopping in the mornings. They would go to a local electronics shop and sell everything in the duffel bag, no questions asked.

“Okay,” Alba said, and made to leave.

“Hey, Alba,” she turned. Ash held her gaze. “Thank you.”

She smiled. “No problem. It was actually kind of fun, in a really crazy way.” Ash laughed. “I’ll see you later.”

“Later.”

After she left, Ash finished the rest of his food. As he was putting his tray on the dresser by the door when his phone buzzed. Both Shorter and Alex had gotten back to him, he hadn’t given them details about what had happened, and they hadn’t asked, even though he knew they were dying to, instead they both sent him identical messages. 

> _What do you need?_

* 

As soon as he could, he went to see Eiji. He saw Ash’s hands, slightly rope burned, then dropped to the sand. Ash had watched him in bewilderment as Eiji stood back up and demanded, “Dust off my hair. Just do it.”

Ash had done it; carefully he shook out Eiji’s hair and watched as the sand fell out. He combed his fingers through it, trying to be thorough. Before he was really done, Eiji moved away, impatiently. “Give me your hands.”

He did. Eiji took them, one by one, he pressed them between his own hands, and Ash felt the sensation again of his skin under cool water, and when Eiji was done, his rope burns were gone. Ash looked down at his hands and then back at Eiji. He burst out laughing.

“You did that just for this?” Ash watched as colour slowly crept into Eiji’s cheeks. “That’s such a waste of your magic. Hey, my back itches, what do I have to do for you to magic that away?”

Eiji glared at him, and then turned away, huffing. Ash chuckled as he leaned his chin on Eiji’s shoulder, one hand braced on Eiji’s arm. “I’m joking, but really, it’s such a silly thing to use _magic_ for. That would have gone away in like, a day.”

“Maybe,” Eiji said. “But, I wanted to do something for you. I have this -” he held his hands in front of himself, palm up, “this magic, but I can’t _do_ anything for you. When you were really hurt, I didn’t even heal you. If I can do something for you now, even something small, I want to.”

Ash felt a little bad for making fun of him. He kissed Eiji on the cheek. “I know, I’m sorry.” He murmured in Eiji’s ear, he felt him shiver. “It’s hot,” Ash continued, in a quiet voice. “The cave?”

Eiji turned his head very slightly toward him; his cheeks still pink, his eyes downcast. “Okay.”

In the cave they lay side by side.

“That boy you met,” Ash said, turning to look at Eiji. “Kaoru. What did he look like?”

“Ah.” Eiji was lying on his back, looking up as he spoke. “He was very fair, his hair was so light it was almost white.” He smiled sadly, obviously remembering, “Did I tell you? It was one of his gifts you gave back to me.” He pulled on the silver chain around his neck.

“I think I had a dream about him.” Ash said.

Eiji did look at him now. “Oh, sorry.”

 “Why are you sorry?”

Eiji managed to shrug even lying down. “It was probably me. My father said proximity to fae does things to humans. It also interferes with their technology. That’s why I can’t really work in a lot of places.”

“But you use your camera fine, and you said you have a computer right?” Ash turned so he was lying on his side, Eiji and his fairy qualities fascinated him.

“When I came here,” Eiji explained. “My father was the one who brought me. He gave me the name of someone who has worked for the fae in the human realm, helped adapt technology, he helped me with my computer and my camera. But things like wifi, phone signals, even radios, they won’t work properly around me. Something about my magic interferes with them.”

“What about when you were a kid?” Ash reached out and took Eiji’s hand.

“Not really. I think it’s the time I spent away, I think it’s probably also the curse.”

He ran his thumb along the smooth skin of the back of Eiji’s hand. “And you don’t remember it, huh?”

Eiji looked down at their hands. “No,” he said. “But, my father thought that whatever the Queen did, it weakened the potency of my magic.” He tapped the bracelet on Ash’s wrist. “This won’t work forever. Each time it helps you, the magic in it will get weaker.”

“So your dad did kind of look out for you, in the end.”

Eiji looked at him in surprise, clearly taken aback by the shift in the conversation. He glanced away. “I guess he did. I don’t think he really understood affection the way we do, but he cared about me, in a way.” Eiji turned brown eyes on him again. “Tell me about your dad.”

Ash did. He told Eiji about his parents, about his brother. He had told him some things already, but when he had talked about his past and Cape Cod before, he had left out almost everyone he knew from his stories, now he didn’t. Ash told him about living with his brother, about how he was more of a father to him than his actual father had been. How he had mixed feelings for his lost childhood and the place that was his home. It made him nostalgic in a way that was mostly longing for something he knew, objectively, never really existed. His childhood hadn’t been very good. He told Eiji about that too.

Eiji listened quietly to all of it. When he carefully implied all the things that had been done to him, starting in Cape Cod, Eiji’s grip on his hand tightened. He didn’t say anything; just let him talk. Ash talked for a long time, moving to lie on his back again, and was genuinely surprised by how much he had to say. Eiji was a warm soft presence at his side, and Ash was comforted by him in a way he hadn’t known he needed.

When he was done, they were quiet for a while. They were both starting to get stiff from lying on rock. They sat up slowly and stretched. Ash could tell Eiji wanted to say something to him. He could feel him working up to saying it; it was Ash’s turn to wait.

“I don’t think you want me to apologize for what happened to you – before,” Eiji began, slowly, carefully picking his words. He looked at Ash steadily. “So, I won’t. I can’t change anything about it, I wish I could but - I’m here for you now. You’re not alone now.”

“Yeah,” Ash said after he took a moment to swallow the sudden lump in his throat. “Yeah.”

Eiji took his hand, smiling a little. Ash smiled back.

After that they both rummaged around their bags and took out things to eat and drink. When they were done, they sat leaning against a patch of cave wall that wasn’t covered in crystal.

“What else can you do?” Ash asked turning to Eiji.

Eiji raised his eyebrows. “I told you, my magic isn’t a party trick.” 

“Come on,” Ash poked his side. “Tell me, what else?”

He must have seemed at least a little eager, because Eiji gave him an amused look.

“Well,” he said. “I can palm read.”

“What, really? That’s real?”

“Yes. It’s actually very accurate too. I’m very good. Here, give me your hand.”

Ash put out his hand. Despite everything, he couldn’t help being sceptical. It was stupid to draw a line here when Eiji had literally healed a bleeding wound and given a man a heart attack, but he couldn’t really help it, it was kind of reflexive.

“That’s interesting.”

“What is?” 

“You automatically gave me your left hand.”

That was true, Ash hadn’t even really thought about it.

“That’s good, it means your reading will be clearer here.” Eiji held Ash’s hand in his own and began to trace the lines with a finger. “This line here,” he ran his finger over the curved line in the middle of Ash’s palm. “It’s your ‘head line’ it shows how you think and react to things. It’s short, and curved, but it’s broken, that means you think creatively, and come to fast decisions, but you consider other people’s thoughts and feelings.” Eiji smiled, “That sounds like you.

“This line.” He touched the one under his head line, closer to Ash’s thumb. “This is your ‘life line.’”

“Does that tell you how long I’ll live?” Ash asked, trying to ignore how pleasant it felt to have Eiji gently touch his hand.

“Not exactly,” Eiji smiled, “that’s a bit of a myth, but the line is long, so that’s good, it means health. It curves too, which means you’re reliable, and people depend on you.” He traced the curve down and then followed the lines that branched off of it. “But, it’s broken here,” Eiji’s voice softened, a little of his gentle teasing disappearing as he pointed out the various places the line was broken. “It’s trauma that has affected your life.”

Ash didn’t say anything to that, and neither did Eiji. He just touched the lines softly, reverently. Then moved slowly to the line high up on his palm, close to his fingers. “This is your heart line.”

“So, that doesn’t tell you about my love life?”

Eiji laughed, his brown eyes sparkled as he looked at Ash. “Mm, not exactly. But I can see you’ve loved someone before,” he tapped a small line that broke away from the longer heart line, “that’s here. Your line is exactly what I would have thought; it splits in two, which means you put other’s feelings before your own. And, here,” he pointed at lines that crossed his heart line, frowning, “that’s betrayal.” He gazed at it for a moment and then shook his head, letting go of Ash’s hand. “Your right will tell me more.” Ash switched hands without hesitating.

“Hmmm,” Eiji peered at his hand for a moment, tracing lines once more. It tickled; it made Ash want to touch him. “This means you can be stubborn and difficult, you get in your own way. You also have a tendency to say things that get you into trouble, even though you know better. And this,” Eiji shook his head gravely. “It’s all the times you’ve talked your way into trouble,” he ticked off lines, and Ash frowned down at his own hand. Eiji traced a line curving up. “This means you should listen to your elders more. Specifically ‘great’ men in your life, that means me, my name is written with the character for ‘great.’”

Ash peered at his own palm. “Does it really say all that?”

“No, obviously not. I made that up.”

Ash stared at him for one whole second before Eiji burst out laughing.

“You made that all up?” Ash accused, more indignant than he would ever admit.

Eiji was laughing harder now, he fell back against the wall. “You’ll believe anything, huh?” He caught his breath to say, “This will be fun.”

Ash grabbed his face, pinching his cheeks. “You brat! I believed you!” 

“I _know_! I can’t believe you fell for that!”

It was hard for Ash not to laugh too, his lips twitched. “You – you – “

Eiji looked at him, eyes bright. “Me?”

Ash made a little noise that was part annoyance, part laughter, and kissed him. He cupped Eiji’s face now, soothing the skin of his cheeks with his thumbs, and kissing Eiji’s smiling mouth. He could feel the laughter still in him; it made it so much sweeter to feel that suddenly shift into something else when Ash kissed him more deeply. Eiji’s fingers gripped his shirt, he gasped into Ash’s mouth, and scattered his thoughts. Eiji was so warm, so lovely, Ash wanted to kiss him more, touch him more.

He kissed him once more, and then drew back. Eiji opened his eyes slowly, mouth still open, his expression dazed. It made Ash want to push him down. He didn’t. He looked away, and tried not to think about how the skin of Eiji’s back would feel compared to his stomach, or his thighs. The intensity of his longing to _know_ took him aback.

Ash cleared his throat and said, “Want to go swimming?”

Eiji blinked at him. “I thought you said you couldn’t.”

“I lied.”

Eiji shook his head, but he was smiling. “Okay.”

  

 

Days passed like this. Ash’s life spilt into two very different parts so that it felt like he was living two entirely different lives. They were both so crazy, in their own ways, and he didn’t know which part seemed more surreal, which one was stranger to live through.

He told Eiji about his plan, about everything he had done and what he was waiting on. Eiji listened, he told Ash more about himself, and each smile of his felt like it lodged more deeply than the last in Ash’s heart. 

They spent their time playing on the beach, Nimbus making another guest appearance, running around with them in the water. And, they spent a lot of time in their crystal cave, literally in a whole different world. One that existed for just the two of them, where it became harder and harder to spend their time talking when there were other, sweeter things for their mouths to do.

When Ash wasn’t touching Eiji, he was thinking about it, it was both exhilarating and strange. This was his first time feeling something so intensely good and he couldn’t control it. He had no idea how people went out into the world and just lived like this, it seemed insane to him. Ash was barely keeping it together as it was, and he had exceptional self-control.

 

 

It was three weeks later when Alex messaged him.

> _We confirmed his location._

Ash felt his heart race. It was the middle of the night and he spent hours coming up with a plan based on Alex’s intel and then painstakingly explaining everything that needed to be done to secure his brother. Alex told him Shorter was there with him, he would be supporting them, and Ash made a mental note to thank him later.

In the morning Alba slipped into his room while he was eating breakfast.

“I thought you’d want to know,” she said. “Golzine will be away this weekend. He confirmed his flight and doctor’s appointments, so you’ll have some free time.”

Ash had never actually told her about Eiji, but she smiled at him knowingly.

“Thanks,” Ash said calmly, his mind already racing with what he could do in that time. “That’s good to know.”

*

Golzine sat comfortably in a resplendent armchair, completely at his leisure. He sipped water from a crystal goblet and gazed out his window.

“Ash spends a lot of time away from the house.” He paused for a moment to take a drink. “Look into that, will you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Life, stuff, writer's block, you know how it is. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! More at some point =D


	8. Known

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cut so much out, but this chapter is still so effing long. orz

“I think I’ll stop coming by for a little while.”

“Oh.” Eiji turned his head to look at Ash. They were lying on the beach under the hot sun. Having just gone for a swim, they were laid out on the blanket Eiji always had with him, feet resting on sand that clung to their damp skin. They had gone into the water with all their clothes still on, and had taken their shirts off when they got out. This was one of only a hand full of times Ash had seen Eiji undressed to any degree. The first time had been in the cave; Ash had traced careful fingers over the scar above his heart, which looked to Ash like a pale starburst.

“There are just some things I need to do, plus,” Ash said, “I think I should. I probably spend too much time away from the house, I shouldn’t be drawing attention to what I do in my spare time.”

Eiji nodded. “I understand.”

Ash watched as water dripped from the ends of Eiji’s hair, running along his shoulder and disappearing behind his back. He brushed it back, feeling the water on his own fingers, and enjoying the little smile that formed automatically on Eiji’s lips.

“Golzine will be away this weekend though,” Ash said, wanting to ask, but somehow finding he was nervous about it, and instead of a question, it came out as a statement. “We can see each other then. All weekend.”

Eiji looked at him. He asked what Ash couldn’t. “Do you – want to go somewhere?”

“Yeah.”

Ash was almost embarrassed by how quickly he had replied. But, Eiji was smiling at him, and it helped cut through the embarrassment of the moment so that Ash smiled too.

“I asked you before if you wanted to go into town, do you want to do that?” Ash remembered that moment as if it had happened yesterday. He remembered thinking it was impossible, and that it was nothing more than a pipedream. He remembered Eiji’s sweet hesitancy when he asked, some of that still present as he continued to talk. “On Friday, I can meet you here at the usual time, and I’ll show you around. If you want.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.” Ash said, really meaning it.

“Okay. Okay, cool.”

There was a pause that wasn’t awkward exactly, but which sat heavily as both of them became aware of the fact that they had just made plans for a date, and weren’t quite sure what to do now. It was strange and a little amusing how easily Eiji made Ash feel his age. He felt it then, keenly. He was only eighteen, he had never really gone on a date before, or been in a relationship for that matter. Eiji, who wasn’t much older than him, was also experiencing all this for the first time, it was heartening, comforting, and grounding. There was also something especially funny about how this young man who was part magical being, was the one who gave Ash these moments in which he felt very much like an ordinary teenage boy.

“Shall we go over your Japanese?”

“Sure.”

Ash had already learned a few words, simple things that Eiji patiently repeated again and again for him. When they couldn’t stand the blazing sun anymore, they moved to the shade, sitting up, and drinking water. The wind that blew through the beach was hot too, and when they really couldn’t take it anymore, they moved to the cave. Eiji took out paper and pencils. He had started teaching Ash hiragana, one of the Japanese alphabets that was a basic building block.

“There’s more than one?” Ash asked, as he copied out the vowels.

“There are three.”

“Why? Isn’t that confusing?”

“Not really, but kanji can be difficult.”

Ash gave him a look. “Just having one alphabet with twenty-six simple characters seems way easier.”

“Less complaining, more practicing.” Eiji said primly. “You’re doing that wrong.”

“What? It looks exactly the same!”

“But you didn’t follow the stroke order, that’s important. Look, watch again.”

“What a pain.”

They bickered good-naturedly. Arguing over how sensible or otherwise their respective first languages were. Ash only half meant anything he said, he thought Japanese was a beautiful language; he especially loved hearing Eiji speak it. The sound of his voice changed slightly, and when he said Ash’s name with an intentional Japanese accent, it was like receiving a whole new name, one only Eiji knew.

When it was time for Ash to leave, they lingered. They stood at the beginning of the path Ash took to go back to the house. He should just go. He would see Eiji again in a few days; it was fine. It wasn’t important that he know in that moment how Nimbus was, or if Eiji thought Ash’s hair was getting too long, but Eiji didn’t try to hurry him either. He answered his questions like they meant everything in that moment.

It was with more reluctance than he thought he should feel knowing he would see Eiji again soon, that Ash said, “I really do need to go.”

Eiji nodded. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah.”

They looked at each other. It felt like the countless other times they had parted from one another, there was always a moment of heaviness, expectancy. Now they didn’t have to ignore it, and it didn’t go unacknowledged. Eiji stepped toward him, hand on Ash’s cheek, and kissed him. The familiarity of it was something that filled his heart almost to the point of pain; it was strange how something so soft seemed almost to hurt him. He didn’t want to step back, and he didn’t, it was Eiji who moved away, in the same easy manner he had stepped forward. He was smiling, just a little shy.

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

He watched Eiji walk away. He sighed and walked back to the house. Ash noted only absently how thickly the white flowers grew all along the pathway.

 

*

“There was a loophole in the contract you gave me from Anderson and Richards, I wrote up a draft that closes it.” Ash said calmly, chewing slowly. These days it was easier for him to stomach his food, but being in the same room as Golzine still made his skin crawl. He would never, ever, admit he was afraid of the man who sat at the head of the table, but he was. Whenever he was near Ash’s fight or flight instinct kicked in, it put him at odds to do neither, kept him on edge. Intellectually Ash knew he could take Golzine in a fight, but his body remembered what had been done to him, what could still be done, and it was a difficult thing to let go of.

“Good work.” Golzine said raising a glass to his lips. He seemed to have mostly recovered from the heart attack that had saved Ash from his bed almost two months ago. But it had aged him. The lines of his face were more pronounced, the bags under his eyes deeper, and he didn’t walk as solidly as he did before. It gave Ash some satisfaction to see it. “I’m surprised you found time to get it done already, you’re hardly ever in the house. Just what do you do all day out on that deserted beach?”

“Swim.” Said Ash easily.

“Swim? All that time?”

“Yes. It reminds me a little of where I grew up.” Ash paused for effect. “And, my brother.”

Golzine shifted a little in his seat. He wasn’t uncomfortable; he simply didn’t like the illusion that Ash was there of his own free will to be shattered with ugly reminders of the truth. Ash knew it wasn’t guilt, that moved him, it was just the reality of knowing Ash would never submit willingly. Golzine had to twist his arm, he had to hold the only family Ash had hostage to keep him from tearing his throat out.

“Well, just make sure you wear sunscreen. You’re starting to get a very unattractive tan. One of your best features is your fair complexion, sweet heart.”

Ash had to swallow the bile that rose in his throat at those words. He wanted to claw Golzine’s eyes out. He wanted to rip the part of his brain that thought about Ash like that right out of Golzine’s head. How dare he, how _dare_ he.

Ash took a deep breath. He thought of Eiji, his warmth, and his sparkling brown eyes. He remembered the way it felt to hold his hand, to feel him softly brush Ash’s hair back. He heard his voice gently scolding, ‘ _Don’t make trouble for yourself_.’ It helped, a little. He swallowed again, but he had effectively lost his appetite.

To distract from the fact that he wasn’t eating anymore, he explained the changes he had made to the aforementioned contract. Ash sipped water and moved what was left of his food around on his plate.

After a stretch of silence Golzine said. “I’ll be leaving for a few days. I have other documents I’ll need you to look over while I’m gone. I was thinking of moving as well. When the cold hits it will be unpleasant here. So say your goodbyes to the beach while you can.”

Ash felt his stomach clench. He said nothing. Golzine wiped delicately at his mouth and gazed at him. He seemed to be considering him, and Ash felt his stomach twist for a whole different reason. He resisted the urge to touch the gold bracelet that sat warm against his skin.

“Come with me.”

Golzine stood up, and Ash did too. He pushed down the feelings that rose in him to have to follow Golzine anywhere. They were heading toward his bedroom; Ash did touch the bracelet now. He remembered Eiji telling him it wouldn’t work forever, and he wondered how long it would be of any use at all if he saw Golzine every single day.

In Golzine’s sitting room he made Ash wait. When he did return it was carrying out the laptop that Ash had hacked into only a few weeks ago. Ash didn’t change his expression when he saw it. He simply watched as Golzine turned it so Ash could see the screen. He felt his heart skip a beat.

He was looking at Griffin. His brother sat in a plainly furnished room. There were no windows in the direction the camera was facing, but from Alex’s intel he had a good idea about what it would look like where he was. Ash resisted the urge to reach out, to touch the screen. Instead he stared. Griffin was obviously being well cared for. His hair shone, his face was cleanly shaven, and his clothes looked fresh. He sat up in a bed with plain white sheets and blankets. He was leaning forward massaging his right leg. He had detached his prosthetic, and it sat beside him on the bed. Coming back from the war, Griffin had had a hard time finding work, and the way the government cared for its veterans meant they received little to no help. It had made Ash easy prey for Golzine. 

 _I’m coming for you_ , Ash thought fiercely, _wait for me just a little longer. I promise, I’m not leaving you with him._

“I thought you might like to see your brother. As you can see, he’s well cared for, just like I promised.” Golzine said, Ash didn’t look at him; his eyes were still on the screen. In all the time he had been trapped in that house, all he had seen of his brother were pictures, trusting the time stamps and the dates on the digital calendar in the background. “And, if you’re a good boy, maybe one day I’ll let you visit him.”

There was nothing like gratitude in Ash in that moment, but he forced himself to say, “Thank you,” knowing it was what Golzine wanted.

“Of course, sweet heart.” Golzine said, putting the laptop down and patting his head as if he were a dog. Ash forced himself not to react.

As Golzine continued to touch him, Ash could feel the intention behind it change, his touch moving down to Ash’s face. Ash wished he could cut the offending hand off. Golzine put his hand under Ash’s chin and lifted his head. Ash looked at him, determinedly meeting his gaze. Golzine caressed his cheek, Ash felt like he might be sick. He didn’t let that show in any way.

“I’ve missed our time together. Maybe once we leave here, we can really settle down, that would be nice, don’t you think?” Golzine seemed to really expect an answer. Suddenly it was harder for Ash to numb himself, he had gotten used to letting himself feel things again, he almost wished he hadn’t, it would have been easier for him to weather this moment if he hadn’t.

Before Ash could reply, Golzine withdrew his hand. He looked away, frowning. He put fingers to his temple and took a step back. Golzine took out a pager from his pocket; Ash was positive Alba’s own pager would be going off in that moment.

“That’s all, leave me.” Golzine said, turning away.

Ash said nothing, but glanced one more time at the laptop that was still playing footage of his brother. Then, he too turned, and then left.

 

 

> _This Saturday, be prepared to extract him_

> _Roger that_

With the information Ash had taken from Golzine’s computer, he had managed to covertly funnel some of his money in offshore holdings for his own use. Ash had been careful, and he was fairly sure that it wouldn’t be detected for some time yet, but Golzine would eventually notice, Ash had to be gone before that. He had to time everything just right for things to work. There were more loose ends than he had initially thought he would need to deal with. An uncomfortable amount of those being people he had involved in all this. But, it was too late for second-guessing or regrets; he had involved them, now he had to do his best to protect them.

He had everything figured out, for the Russos who were locked into a contract they didn’t want, and for Alba who had to provide for her family. The person he was uncertain about was Eiji. It wasn’t that Ash didn’t know what he himself wanted. If he was being honest, Ash had known for quite some time what he wanted from – with – Eiji. The question was, what did Eiji want? Ash couldn’t make plans for him; it had to be his choice. But, the thought of leaving him behind here, Ash could hardly think about it, it didn’t feel like an option at all.

> _Shorter says_

> _Keep ur nose clean_

Ash smiled at his screen. He could practically hear Shorter’s voice saying that. He couldn’t wait to see him, to see his gang again.

*

Everything was coming to a head now. Ash’s plans, his freedom was almost within reach, it was exciting and a bit nerve wrecking. More than anything Ash wished he could be with his gang, going personally to free his brother, but he couldn’t move. He was doing his part, playing the pet for Golzine to keep him content while he set things in motion.

Every night Golzine put hands on him, and every night it stopped at a few touches. That he could make it through anything Golzine did to him, Ash knew he could, it was a proven fact, but he didn’t want it, he never had. Ash silently thanked Eiji over and over again. He had saved him now more times than Ash could count.

In the back of his mind, while the days slowly passed, Ash thought about his – date. No matter how he looked at it, that’s what it was, that’s what he had been angling for, and hadn’t managed to say. Again, it felt like Ash was living two separate lives, and it was a wonder that the one that included a boy who was part fae was the one that felt the most normal.

He worried about timing; maybe their date was too close to everything else that was happening. Maybe he should just go to see Eiji and then call it off, but there wasn’t really anything that he could do. Everything he could do from this distance was related to waiting now. He was getting sick of it, and since that was the case, then at least he could spend his time with Eiji.

Ash stood in front of his closet Friday morning seriously considering what he should wear. It was stupid to be worry about it, he knew that, reminded himself about it as he dug through his closet and rejected outfit after outfit. In the end he threw on a pale green shirt with faded blue shorts and determinedly looked away from the mirror.

He grabbed his things, putting them into his bag and wondering what he would need. It had been raining lately, and Ash meant to take an umbrella, but it sat forgotten in his closet when he made his way downstairs. He felt slightly more at ease in that house than he had since arriving there. There were fewer guards, and of course, Golzine himself was absent.

_“I’ll be back Monday evening, we’ll start the move then, so make sure you have whatever things you’d like to take ready to go.”_

_“Yes.” Said Ash, as he stood by the door with Golzine and his men, seeing him off at figurative gunpoint. On Thursday instead of dinner, he had summoned Ash to say goodbye._

_“Behave while I’m gone, won’t you?” Golzine said, putting on a hat and pocketing his phone. “Goodbye, Ash.”_

_“Goodbye.”_

_There were a tense few seconds in which Ash thought Golzine would ask something of him, or he expected something, but it passed. Golzine turned and walked out the door with his escort._

In the kitchen Ash filled up his water bottle, turning to Jean Luca he asked, “Have you seen Alba today?”

“Not since morning,” he replied.

Sarah handed him a bottle of sunscreen. “Ah, she go to store, I see her go, she say to me that.” Ash nodded in understanding.

“Thank you,” he said again, putting the bottle into his bag. The Russos were lovely people, Ash wanted very much to get them out of here too.

He was seeing Eiji again after six days, but it felt like it had been longer. They had no way to communicate, but if he could have, Ash probably would have written him a letter, like a dumb, love-sick, old timey courtier. He felt the rest of the tension in him drain out when he saw Eiji, and he smiled at Ash.

“Hi,” Ash said, when he reached him.

“Hi,” Eiji said, tilting his head up a little to look at him.

“You look cute,” Ash said, thoughtlessly. He watched as Eiji blushed, and hoped he could blame his own heated cheeks on the weather. But, it was true. Eiji was wearing a blue button up shirt and soft green shorts.

“Thank you,” Eiji said, adjusting his collar and glancing away. “You too.” There was a pause then where they both fidgeted, still getting used to openly complimenting each other. “Um, shall we?” He gestured.

“Yeah.”

They walked to and then passed the furthest point on the beach Ash had ever been. Now that he was here he was hit with the full force of how much he wanted to leave. He had been trapped in a gilded cage for so long he had almost forgotten what it was like to spread his wings and fly.

Emerging onto the road, Eiji took Ash’s hand and then nodded his head to the right, “It’s this way,” he said. They held hands as they walked in companionable silence down the street. That was something else Ash liked about Eiji, that they could spend time quietly together and be at ease. They could just let the silence breathe without the urgent need to fill it, it was nice, to just _be_ with another person.

After five or so minutes of walking they started to come across other houses and the first gas station. Passed that stores began to pop up, and suddenly there was foot traffic. Ash looked around at the storefronts that had clearly been there for some time. Some of them had been remodelled to appear more modern, and some of them had only been refurbished, keeping the old designs.

They decided to walk around a little. As they went Eiji pointed out shops to him, explained notable incidents, and which ones were his favourite stores. “This second hand store is where I usually buy my stuff. I like to go through the vintage toy section and see which ones are haunted.”

“What?” Ash stared at him.

“Just kidding.”

At Eiji’s favourite book store Ash felt his heart flutter. It was an old cramped shop, the aisles were narrow, shelves packed in so tightly it was like a labyrinthine inside, and books lined the bottom of some shelves. Ash felt a bit like Belle from _Beauty and the Beast_ looking around at all the books.

Without realizing it, they spent a whole hour there showing each other books they’d read, or liked, or heard interesting things about. Ash griped about the American Beats writers when he came across a copy of _On the Road_ , “It’s glorified stream of consciousness trying to make the privileged white man sympathetic. I have two words for Kearouac, ‘Do better.’” And Eiji found an old copy of one of his favourite books, “This is the first book I read completely in English, it made me cry.” Ash took it, and bought it before they left.

They got ice cream, three scoops piled precariously on their cones, and they both laughed when Ash almost dropped the whole thing on his first lick. They held hands even when it would have been easier for them not too, navigating the sidewalks and the other pedestrians with effort that neither resented.

Eiji brought them to a park by city hall. “These are cherry blossom trees, they only bloom in the spring, but look.” He pointed to a plaque sitting at the base of one of the trees. “They’re a gift to the town from Japan. I don’t know why, but it’s cool, right?” Ash agreed that it was cool, and walked around the park. It was small, but well kept.

“What are we doing here?” Ash asked. Eiji had taken them into City Hall.

“I wanted to show you this.” He pointed to the wall they were walking toward; it was covered in pictures. As they got closer Ash saw some of them were rather old, displaying scenes in black and white, and then Eiji gestured, and he looked over to the pictures he wanted to show him. “These are the trees in spring.”

They were beautiful. There were four pictures total displaying the cherry blossom trees, one was a beautiful sunny day with people sitting under them, another was a close up of one of the branches displaying one single flower in bloom, another showed the trees just budding, and the last one caught the little pink flowers blowing on the wind. Under each plaque was the name of the park, the date, and, “Eiji Okumura.” Ash read aloud.

Eiji beamed at him, then tugged on Ash’s arm, “Come on, there are more.”

There were. All around the first floor were pictures with Eiji’s name underneath them. They showed store openings, town events, beautifying projects, and people. Ash tried to look at them with a critical eye, there was artistry there, there was a sense of the photographer, and Ash thought that if Eiji kept developing his skills, he would be truly something.

“Food?” Eiji asked, when they walked out of the building.

“Yes,” said Ash immediately, “I’m starving.”

They went to a café Eiji recommended and ate sandwiches washed down by coffee and iced tea. They sat by the window and people watched. Eiji pointed out the people he recognized and told Ash all about the latest town gossip. It was ridiculous how much fun it was to hear the types of stories that passed for scandalous in this small town, and Ash laughed at every one of them.

When Eiji left to use the washroom Ash’s phone buzzed.

> _Ready_

> _Good. Keep me updated_

> _Roger that_

“Want to see an old movie?”

“Sure.”

Eiji explained that his magic probably wouldn’t interfere with the technology in modern theatres, he had to be fairly close to the tech to disrupt it, but they decided this was better. They went to watch an old movie, black and white, played on a film reel. It was late afternoon, and they were the only ones in the theatre. They put their feet up on the backs of the seats in front of them, they shared a bag of popcorn, and when Eiji got popcorn stuck in his bangs Ash pointed it out, waited for Eiji to look up, and then kissed him.

Ash checked his watch as they walked out of the theatre, Eiji glanced at his own, it was early evening. “What time do you have to be back?”

Ash shrugged. “I don’t really have a time, I just have to be there before anyone’s up tomorrow.”

“Keep walking then?”

“Yeah.”

Most of the stores were closed or closing now. It wasn’t as bright as it had been either, grey clouds were starting to gather, and it would probably rain a little later. They went back to the park and sat on one of the benches. It was lively, with not much else to do on a Friday night there were quite a few people taking walks, lounging on the grass, or sitting on the benches.

“It’s kind of strange to be around normal people again,” Ash said after a moment, watching a family of five walk passed. Ash took Eiji’s hand. “It’s great to be out of there, but being here makes that house and everything in it feel like it’s not actually real, you know? Like maybe I dreamt it all, and it was just a nightmare.”

“I understand that,” Eiji said. “I felt that way too, before. It’s weird to see two different worlds open in front of you. Disorienting.”

“Yeah.” Ash nodded his head, still looking at the people. They lapsed back into silence. Ash wasn’t really thinking of anything as he looked at everyone around him, and he was almost startled when Eiji spoke.

“You’ll have to leave soon, won’t you?”

Ash turned to look at him. “What? I can stay a few more hours – “

Eiji shook his head. “No, I mean, you’ll leave. You have to.”

Now Ash understood what he meant. “I will,” he said slowly, “but – “ He wasn’t sure how to finish that thought. He had been avoiding thinking about this very conversation, even though he knew he needed to have it, and even though he wanted the answers it would lead to.

“I thought so,” Eiji looked away. “Then, I guess this is probably g – “

“Come with me.”

“What?”

Eiji was looking at him now, brown eyes wide. Ash swallowed, his stomach in knots, but he hardly showed any of his nervousness or uncertainty. “If you want – I – “ Ash shook his head, inarticulate when he most needed his words. In the end he simply said again, “Come with me.”

Eiji was still looking at him like Ash had asked him to elope right then and there. And, maybe that wasn’t far off; the implications of what Ash had asked weren’t exactly subtle. He felt stupid and foolish suddenly, and it was almost enough to make him wish he could take it back, but not quite. Eiji just looked at him for another moment, the longer he went without saying anything the more Ash was sure he would be rejected, and the harder it was for him to hear Eiji’s reply.

But, Eiji didn’t say anything back, he laughed. Now Ash was the one looking surprised. Eiji laughed, leaning back in his seat with his laughter while Ash watched in hurt bewilderment.

“What’s so funny?” Ash asked, unable to stop some of the hurt from leaking into his words.

“Sorry,” Eiji said, breathlessly, he was smiling now. “It’s just,” he laughed a little, “you’re so crazy.” Ash wasn’t sure what he had expected by way of explanation, but it wasn’t that. Eiji went on, “You’re asking me to leave my home, the place I’ve been for years, and made my own. You know everything I am and what that means, but you still want me to go with you to a different country, and then, who knows!” Eiji looked up at him with eyes that sparkled. “But, maybe I’m crazy too.” He took a breath, smiling in that way that made Ash’s stomach flip. “I’ll go with you.”

Ash felt like he had just gone on a little rollercoaster of emotions. He was a little annoyed at Eiji, for one second his heart had lurched, but the sheer relief and happiness he felt overshadowed it. He laughed too, despite himself, and shoved Eiji’s shoulder with his own. “You’re such a jerk.”

“You like it.”

“I do.”

They smiled at each other. Goofy, elated smiles that made them forget they were in the middle of a park surrounded by other people. They held each other’s hands tightly.

They stayed there for another moment longer, and when an elderly couple approached, obviously looking for a place to sit, they decided, wordlessly, to leave.

“Dinner?”

“Yes. We can go to the restaurant next to where I live.”

Ash looked at him, “You mentioned that before, is it an apartment or an inn?”

“It’s a bit like a Japanese _ryokan_. Basically a lot of traditional Japanese style things, you’ll see what I mean when we get there.” When they were closer, Eiji pointed out the restaurant, “That’s it.”

It was a sizable property, and it looked very unlike the other buildings. The accents on the building were different, the awnings on the roof were longer, and a deeper brown colour than its neighbours. The colour scheme, the lanterns hanging from the sides, and the rice paper windows, all of it looked like something Ash had seen in books. Despite how completely different it was from everything else, the effect wasn’t jarring, it was like discovering a pink flower petal among white, neither were diminished, both still looked lovely next to each other.

“You live _here_?” Ash asked, not taking his eyes off the building.

He didn’t see Eiji’s nervous smile. “Um, yes.”

“ _Cool_.”

Walking in they saw the restaurant held a decent amount of customers already. The closest server to them turned and greeted Eiji warmly, and then Ash politely.

Ash looked around as they were brought to their seats. It looked like something out of a movie, and Ash was surprised by how excited he was to be able to experience something like it first hand. When he caught Eiji’s eye, he was smiling at him knowingly, warmly, and Ash grinned.

“Do you eat here often?”

“When I can,” Eiji replied as the server brought them water and tea. “I usually cook for myself, but sometimes I help out. I try not to spend too much time here when it’s busy, because – “

“I lost my connection, is your wifi working?”

Eiji glanced at the people at the table next to theirs and smiled, nodding his head every so slightly toward them, “Because that.”

They looked through the menus and Eiji advised him on what to order. Everything was written in both Japanese and English, and helpful pictures of each dish accompanied the description. They ordered probably more than was advisable, but they were young and healthy, and most of all, they were happy.

When their orders arrived, they fell into a silence they hardly noticed, each of them taking a moment to savour the food.

“Ei-chan!”

They both turned to look. A woman, maybe a decade or so older than them was almost at their table. She was dressed in a yukata decorated with koi fish, and she beamed at them when she arrived.

“You didn’t tell me you would be coming,” she glanced at Ash and the quality of her smile changed, a different light in her eyes, “and with a _guest_.”

Ash couldn’t be sure in that light, but he thought Eiji might be blushing. “Asami-san, this is Ash, Ash, this is Asami Tanaka-san, she owns this restaurant and the inn.”

Asami bowed her head and then held out her hand, Ash shook it without hesitating.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Ash.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Ash replied, “this place is beautiful, it’s like a dream.”

Asami grinned at him; she let go of his hand and turned to Eiji saying. “I like him.” Turning back to Ash she asked, “How are you finding everything? Is there anything you’d like?”

“Everything is wonderful, thank you very much.” Asami continued to shoot looks at Eiji, and now Ash was sure he was blushing.

“Oh! I know! _Umeshu_!” And she turned and hurried away before either of them could react.

Asami came back with a tray. She set its contents down on the table, and poured each of them a small cup. “ _Umeshu_ , Japanese plum wine, it’s very nice, I prefer it to _sake_ , but we have that too if you’d rather.” She gestured for them to drink. “Please, go ahead.”

Ash picked up his cup, it was about the size of a shot, he stalled long enough to see how Eiji drank it, and then followed suit. It was sweet, and since Ash had tried _sake_ before as well, he had to agree, this was better.

Asami was waiting expectantly. Ash smiled and said with all sincerity, “I like it.”

She beamed at him, and refilled their cups. “I have to get back, but please, let me know if you need anything. Ei-chan, you know where to find me.” She winked at him before she left.

“She seems fun,” Ash said, still smiling.

Eiji was smiling too. “Asami-san is very lively.”

“So this is the place your father brought you to?” Ash asked after they both drank another cup of the sweet wine.

“Yes.” Eiji put his cup down, he tapped a finger on the rim, “Asami has fae blood too, down the line, so far removed none of the magic remains, but her family remembers them. Most people think of them like _kami_ or spirits, and her family serves them. Asami’s brother is the one who helped with me with my camera and computer.”

Ash poured them more of the wine without thinking.

“And, you’ve never thought about leaving before?” Ash looked down at his own cup.

Eiji took a moment before he answered. “I have,” he said slowly. “I’ve thought about it a lot. But, it never felt right, something always told me I was meant to stay here.”

“What about now?”

They met each other’s gaze, “I think now it’s finally time to go.”

One of the customers walking by tripped, bumping into the back of Eiji’s seat; effectively disrupting the moment. They finished eating, commenting on the food and the lively atmosphere of the place.

Later, when Eiji asked for the bill, Asami came by. She looked as energetic as she had an hour ago when she had first come by. “How was everything?” She asked, as Eiji took the bill from her.

“Incredible,” Ash said, meaning it, and then turning to Eiji. “Here, I’ll get it – “

But Eiji wasn’t paying attention to him; he frowned down at the bill. “Asami-san, you forgot to put the _umeshu_ on here.”

“I didn’t forget, I’m not that old. It’s on the house.”

“What,” Eiji looked up at her, “why?”

Asami gave him a look that clearly said she thought he was being dense. “For your boyfriend of course! He’s so cute, good job, Ei-chan.”

Ash had never seen Eiji so flustered, he sputtered, turning a furious red. Eiji got up and grabbed hold of Asami’s sleeve. “I’ll be right back,” he said, not quite meeting Ash’s eye, and then they moved toward the kitchen.

From where they were seated the kitchen was only a few feet away. The restaurant was too loud for Ash to really hear what was being said, but when he glanced over he saw a flustered Eiji gesturing agitatedly while Asami laughed and waved him away. Ash smiled and took the opportunity to check his phone. There didn’t seem to be anything new to report from either Alex or Shorter, so Ash put his phone away.

When Eiji came back he looked defeated and embarrassed. He was carrying a small cloth bag, one that he quickly stuffed into his backpack. Asami came too, and handed Eiji his change. She smiled at Ash, said goodbye, turned and left. Eiji gave her retreating back a look Ash didn’t quite know how to read and then fished his wallet back out of his pocket. The bill she had handed him was blue and it caught Ash’s attention.

“Is it true that Canadian money smells like maple syrup?”

Eiji finally looked at him. “What? Oh, yes, it does. Here.”

He passed Ash the bill; Ash sniffed cautiously, and then turned his surprised expression on Eiji. “Well, shit, I didn’t think that was true.”

“It’s so dumb.” Eiji said, smiling a little now. “I kind of love it.”

They made their way to the door, Eiji slid it open and a huge downpour greeted them. Stepping out under the long awning and closing the door, they both looked out at the heavy rain.

“I was going to suggest we go for another walk,” Eiji said looking at the rain a little forlornly. “But, I guess not.”

“Well, what now?”

They looked at each other. Ash thought the easiest and probably most logical answer would be to call it a night. Maybe someone could lend him an umbrella, or he could just run back to the house, but he was reluctant to see the night end, to say goodbye.

Before he could try and express any of this, Eiji spoke, looking out at the rain. “We could – I live here – “ he fiddled with the straps of his bag. “My place?”

The invitation felt loaded, though Ash knew it wasn’t, not unless it was what they both wanted. But he was nervous, and it made him pause longer than he would have.

“Okay,” he finally managed, taking out his phone and putting it in the innermost pocket of his bag. He took Eiji’s hand. “On three?”

Ash counted down, and then they ran. Eiji pulled him along, they had to circle back around the building, Eiji’s apartment wasn’t connected to the rest of the inn and had a separate entrance. Eiji fumbled for a second with his keys, Ash not making his job easier by poking his sides and complaining that he was getting wet. They were laughing, already soaked through so it didn’t matter that they lingered, Eiji turned to swat Ash’s hands away, and then Ash pushed wet hair out of Eiji’s eyes. It was warm summer rain they were standing in, and the way Eiji looked framed against the door of his apartment was something Ash was going to remember for years and years to come.

Finally, Eiji got the door open. They stumbled in, drunk on each other, and the sweet plum wine. They were dripping water, their clothes plastered to their skin, and their hair stuck to their faces.

“Bathroom,” Eiji said, pointing. He led Ash across the apartment in the dark and when he finally did turn on the lights they were both standing in his small bathroom. It was simple, white walls and pale blue tiles, they had managed to fit a small bathtub in as well, about three quarters the size of a regular tub. There was a small shelf with neatly folded towels on the wall and Eiji handed him one before taking another for himself.

It was a strange, almost intimate experience. Everything was different in close quarters, suddenly the space between them seemed smaller now that they weren’t in the open air, but surrounded by four walls. Just knowing that this was Eiji’s own space made things different, and Ash was very aware of how close Eiji was standing to him in that moment.

When he wasn’t dripping wet anymore, Eiji said, “I’ll get you something dry to wear, just a sec.” He slipped out of the bathroom before Ash could say anything. When he came back, Ash took the clothes from him and Eiji closed the door to the washroom this time when he left.

Ash took another moment to towel his hair, and then put on the dry clothes. They smelled like Eiji, and that did funny things to his stomach. Ash glanced in the mirror, and combed fingers through his hair. He tried not to think about how it felt to have Eiji’s smell on his skin.

Stepping out of the bathroom the first thing Ash noticed was that the apartment was only dimly lit, one lamp in the corner illuminating the small space that seemed to serve as both bedroom and living room. The second thing he noticed was all the plants. Pushed against one of the corners was a small desk, there were two small potted plants there, succulents, Ash noted, on the bookshelf next to it there was a small plant on every shelf. At the entrance to the kitchen there was one hanging from a hook in the ceiling, vines trailed so long they were draped over hooks in the wall.

Eiji stood in the kitchen; he had a kettle on the stove and was taking out mugs. He had already changed too, when he heard Ash approach he turned, and smiled a little. “I know we just ate, but – “ he gestured toward the kettle, “it was reflex.”

“That’s okay.” Ash said, “You have a nice place.” Ash noticed the plants by the window, those, he thought, were herbs. It looked like rosemary, basil, and mint.

Eiji looked away, he leaned against the kitchen counter, unnecessarily straightening the mugs placed there, so their handles were perfectly parallel. “It’s not much, probably not like what you’re used to, and it’s a bit messy, but it’s home.”

“I like it,” Ash said. He was still standing in the living space, he looked down at the floor, and ran his foot over a line in the flooring. “Is this tatami?”

“Yes,” Eiji looked surprised and pleased that he knew.

“And, all the plants,” Ash smiled, “I should have guessed your place would be full of them.”

Eiji smiled too. “I’ve always liked them.” Eiji told him their names, how best to take care of them, and whether he used them for anything other than décor. Ash listened, feeling the domesticity of the moment. Both of them barefoot leaning against the kitchen counter, waiting for the kettle to boil, and then for the tea to steep. This place would be too small for the both of them, they would need something a little bigger, Ash thought idly, refusing still to think about that too deeply. That moments like this one might become their day to day still seemed like a fantasy, and Ash was scared to even spend too much time thinking about it, it felt like saying a wish out loud.

They took their mugs of tea into the living area, “Ah, sorry for the mess.” Eiji gave Ash a cushion to sit on beside a small low table, next to which a rumpled futon lay out. Eiji sat on that saying, “I spilled orange juice on my other cushion this morning, I thought I was going to be late.”

Ash waved this away. “Back home, I hardly ever made my bed.”

“What? Why not?”

Ash shrugged. “What for? I’m just going to sleep on it again later.”

Eiji gave him a look. “Do you also not do house work? Because that will drive me crazy.”

Ash laughed, putting down his mug, “I knew you were the type to be anal about cleaning.”

“I am not!” Eiji said, the barest hint of colour in his face. “But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to be messy!”

“I leave my books out,” Ash said. “Sometimes just page down on the floor. I leave dishes in the sink too, and I always take the garbage out at the last possible second. And yeah, I only make my bed when I’m changing the sheets.” Eiji looked at him in growing dismay, but Ash was still smiling. “Still wanna live with me?”

He watched as Eiji’s expression changed. The line between his eyebrows smoothing out, and the corner of his lips twitching upward, he pursed them to hide that fact. “Yes,” he said simply.

Ash told him stories about living with his gang. They ranged from kind of funny to absolutely horrific, a bunch of street punk teenage boys living together? It was like living in a hazard wastes facility. Eiji laughed in amused disbelief as Ash told him incident after incident, working his way up to the truly terrible. Ash had seen some things, the darkest part of the human heart, but was there really anything more terrible than the washrooms of teenage boys?

“It was so bad,” Ash said, putting down his empty mug. “We used bleach and everything, but it was never the same.”

Eiji shook his head, his expression a mix of disgust and amusement. “You had fun living with them though, didn’t you?”

Ash laughed, “Yeah,” he said, and shouldn’t have been surprised by the way Eiji cut through everything to hit on the heart of Ash’s stories. “It wasn’t perfect, but – “ Ash shrugged, feeling like that adequately summed up his feelings, and Eiji seemed to understand, because he nodded.

After a beat Eiji got up to put their mugs away, Ash took that opportunity to use the washroom. Coming back out he found Eiji sitting back down; he looked up and smiled at him.

“Close your eyes,” Eiji said when Ash was seated again.

“What?”

“I have something for you, close your eyes.”

Feeling trepidation, but willing to trust, Ash closed his eyes. “Okay, now open your mouth.” This reminded Ash very forcefully of his schoolboy days. _Open your mouth, close your eyes, and you will get a big surprise._ He remembered how often it had been used as a way to kiss someone. He opened his mouth.

He felt Eiji move, something approach his face, and then something placed carefully on his tongue.

“Okay, you can open them.” Ash opened his eyes, and closed his mouth properly tasting the mint leaf that was there now. He watched as Eiji put one in his own mouth, smiling mischievously at him, like he knew what Ash had been thinking about.

“What was the point in that?”

“It was fun.”

“Was it?”

“Fun for me.”

Ash shook his head, laughing. “You’re so weird.” He sucked on the mint, and it felt exactly like he might imagine it was like to suck on a leaf, but mintyer.

The buzz he had felt earlier from the wine was all but gone, but he still felt drunk, and stupid. He was going to say something dumb like that soon; he could practically hear himself say it, _‘Mintyer.’_

“Close your eyes,” he said. So this was the form of his stupid.

Eiji looked at him, and then slowly closed his eyes. Ash thought about asking him to open his mouth, but he didn’t. Instead he leaned over the table, cupped the side of Eiji’s face, running his thumb over Eiji’s cheekbone, and kissed him. Eiji’s lips were soft, and when he exhaled, the smell of mint was so strong it was almost overwhelming. They both pulled back, laughing. Ash watched as Eiji chewed the leaf and swallowed, and did the same.

Still, all either of them could taste or smell was mint. Ash suspected they were both thinking about it, because they kept smiling, laughter bubbling up in both of them so that the kiss kept breaking. Ash kissed Eiji’s cheek instead, purposefully aiming for the beauty mark there, and then the one over his right eyebrow, the one on his chin, and the corner of his jaw by his ear.

“Ash,” Eiji said, and it made Ash shiver. He put his hands on Ash’s chest, and pushed, gently. “Wait.”

Ash pulled away, ready to apologize, but Eiji forestalled him, obviously seeing the panic in his eyes.

“I need to tell you something.”

Ash felt dread sit in his stomach now. “What is it?”

Eiji let go of him; he sat back and clasped his hands. He spoke looking down at his lap. “I wasn’t honest with you,” he began, “I – remember I told you about the curse?” Ash nodded. “I said I didn’t remember what it was, but that’s not true. I remember everything.” He paused, took a breath, and then said. “When I fall in love again, if the person I love is in mortal peril, I won’t be able to do anything for them.” Ash said nothing, and Eiji kept going without looking at him. “I’m sorry, I should have told you, I just – I didn’t want to scare you, everything is already so crazy and messed up and I just – “ Eiji broke off making a small frustrated noise. “I won’t let anything happen to you though, I promise.”

Ash knew he was probably concentrating on the wrong aspect of what Eiji had just said, but his brain caught on it, and he couldn’t seem to free it. “Me, you think it means me?”

“What? Yes, you – “ Ash watched as realization slowly dawned on Eiji, and colour crept into his face. He opened his mouth, then closed it, and nodded.

Ash felt pleasantly warm. “I wouldn’t worry though,” he said, not really paying attention to what he was saying, still thinking about the unintentional admission. “I have experience avoiding life threatening situations.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Eiji said, earnest, leaning forward slightly. “They say she can see the future, she must have known, or suspected something would happen, and did it on purpose. The Queen wouldn’t waste her time on a curse that wasn’t likely to be triggered, she doesn’t make empty threats.”

“Well, if something happens, we’ll deal with it then. There isn’t really anything we can do about it now, right? And, at least now I know to be on my guard.” Eiji still looked worried, he bit his lip. “Hey,” Ash reached out and put his hand over Eiji’s tightly clasped hands. He said, very seriously, “I’m really smart,” this surprised a laugh out of Eiji, “I’ll think of something.”

Eiji shook his head, but he was still smiling. “ _We’ll_ think of something.” He corrected. They smiled at each other. Eiji glanced out the window, and then looked shyly back at him. “Do you have to go soon?”

Ash had completely forgotten about the time, he looked at his watch even though he already knew what he was going to reply. “No.”

“Do you want more tea or anything?”

“No, thank you.”

They were watching each other, very aware of how far apart they were, which wasn’t very far at all.

“I’ll – um, excuse me.” Eiji got up and went quickly to the bathroom. Ash let out a breath and tried to calm down.

It hadn’t been said, not in so many words, but they both knew it. The word ‘love’ rang in Ash’s ears, he heard Eiji’s voice say it again and again, and felt it with every beat of his heart.

When Eiji came back, he walked slowly over to Ash. He didn’t move around the table to sit at his seat, but instead carefully dropped to his knees over Ash, who looked up at him breathing faster than he had been a moment ago. Eiji’s hands in Ash’s hair, the gentle caress of his fingers, the look in his eyes, and finally his soft lips.

Eiji was sweet and warm, and when Ash tugged, he slowly lowered himself to sit in Ash’s lap. Eiji was the one who first ventured under their clothes, sliding his hand easily up Ash’s back. This wasn’t the first time Eiji had touched him like this, but it was the first time it had been done with so much promise. He was a wonderful weight over Ash, he wanted both to push him down onto the bed and have Eiji press him down.

Ash was the one who pulled back to tug Eiji’s shirt off, his soon followed. Their state of undress was familiar to both of them, but reframed by their setting. Every touch felt so much more deliberate, and every kiss like an attempt to communicate something, a lovely substitute for words.

They began to move backward, inelegantly manoeuvring their way over to the bed. Eiji accidentally pinning Ash with a knee on his shorts, Ash almost throwing Eiji off, it was awkward and lacking finesse, but they laughed against each other’s mouths, and the looks they gave each other were bright and warm.

Ash laid on his back, Eiji half on top of him, braced on his hands. He kissed Ash softly, once, and then moved to kiss the line of his jaw, the pulse at his throat, the dip of his collarbone. His hands splayed out over Ash’s skin, tracing touches that left fire in their wake, and that made Ash feel out of control.

“Wait,” Ash said, almost gasping when Eiji bit him.

“Sorry,” Eiji said quickly.

Ash almost laughed, “No, not – I liked that.” He enjoyed the way colour suffused Eiji’s cheeks. “I just, I think I need a second.”

“Okay.”

Eiji carefully moved off him, lying next to him instead. In that moment, the light from the lamp flickered, they both looked over at it, it flickered again, twice more, and then burned out. “Shit.” Eiji muttered, he went over and fiddled with the lamp, Ash stayed where he was, watching him. “Well,” said Eiji. “The light isn’t working.”

Now Ash did laugh. “Thanks for the update.”

“That was my last light bulb too, I know because I meant to buy more, and I forgot.” Ash heard Eiji sigh, and then felt him come back. His eyes were still adjusting to the now very limited light. Outside the moon was full and it was now their only source of illumination. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Said Ash, and then hesitated. “I don’t know if I can…” he trailed off, not knowing even what he couldn’t do; he had never been here before.

“It’s okay,” Eiji said softly, and Ash felt as well as heard his sincerity. “We could talk? Tell me about your favourite books.”

Ash did. He told Eiji about their plots, about the writing style, and as he spoke tried to identify what it was that he liked so much about them. They lay on their sides, facing each other, one arm curled under their heads, their fingers laced in the space between them. At Eiji’s prompting, Ash told him in more detail what the books were about, he quoted his favourite parts, the lines that stuck with him, and tried to explain why they had resonated. Eiji moved to lie on his front and after a while Ash laid on his back, switching hands so that he could still hold Eiji’s.

“I like when authors make me feel something real,” Ash said, “when they can express something that’s hard to put your finger on, but then you read it, and you know exactly what they mean.”

Eiji was nodding, “Yes, me too.”

Ash felt better now, calmer. He knew this was what Eiji had wanted when he had asked him to talk, that Eiji knew it would work, and it had. He felt suddenly grateful for the impulse that led him to talk to a strange boy he meant randomly on the beach. He felt known. “I’m glad we met,” he said.

Eiji smiled, it was the smile Ash carried around in his heart. “Me too.”

They gazed at each other. Eiji was bathed in moonlight, it made his skin glow and created wells of shadow along his still bare back. His black hair shone, and there was something about the contrast of it against the white sheets that made Ash’s stomach clench, not unpleasantly. He leaned over to kiss him, pleased when Eiji lifted his head to meet him.

“We don’t have to do anything,” Eiji said quietly, seriously, drawing back a little.

“I know.”

The kissing started slow, but quickly turned urgent. The rest of their clothes were gone, and the press of skin on skin made them both gasp. Eiji on the futon, dark skin and darker hair, so beautiful it almost hurt Ash. He didn’t know what to do with his feelings, Ash had never felt anything like this before, these weren’t the kind of feelings he was used to pushing down and away. They weren’t bad, they were good, so good, and that hurt in a different way.

“Is this okay?”

His voice was made of breath. “Yes.”

Ash always thought of Eiji like a dream, but that wasn’t right. He was better; he was real. Eiji was in his arms, his heart beating against Ash’s skin, his fingers touching, pressing, gripping – and the wonderful sound of his harsh breathing in Ash’s ear; real. Real. Whether it was luck, divine providence, fate, or chance, Eiji was here, he was pressed against him, and when Ash touched him, deliberately slow, Eiji said his name on a gasp.

They were breathing harder now, hurrying when they both wanted to go slow. They couldn’t, they couldn’t seem to stop, and slowing down was madness. Eiji said Ash’s name again, almost like it was two syllables, and Ash’s back arched, colour exploding behind his eyelids. He felt when it hit Eiji, his body tensing, and then shaking, whatever he said muffled against Ash’s skin, on the same spot he had bitten him.

For a moment they lay together, both of them catching their breath, both of them trying to collect themselves. Then Ash tried to get up and immediately sat back down.

“Are you okay?”

Ash looked down at his own legs in surprise. “I – yeah, it’s just,” he felt himself blush, “my legs gave out.”

Later, they lay together, Ash’s head resting over Eiji’s heart. Not quite dozing, they spent a long while simply being with each other.

“Have you ever had miso soup?” Eiji said, quiet.

“In restaurants.” Ash replied, just as quiet.

“What about tamago?”

“I don’t think so.”

“I’ll make it for you.” Eiji’s fingers were absently following the lines of scars on Ash’s back. “It’s part of a common Japanese breakfast, that and fish, and rice.”

Ash lifted his head to look at him. “You’ll cook for me?”

Eiji’s eyes glimmered in the dark. “I do that already. What about you? What will you make me?”

Ash grinned. “A mess.”

He hadn’t meant anything by it, but Eiji seemed to catch the double meaning before Ash did. He saw it in Eiji’s expression, and the way he bit his lip. What could Ash do then but kiss him?

Their second time was slower, sweeter. Ash doing his best to draw it out, coaxing sounds from Eiji even when he bit his lip to muffle them.

They kept touching each other, unable to stop. Eiji had beauty marks all over, on the nape of his neck, the crook of his arm, the small of his back, his chest, hipbone, and Ash kissed them all.

“Do you want to – ?”

“I don’t have anything.”

“I do.”

Ash looked at Eiji in surprise. “You do?” He smiled, slow and amused. “Were you planning on seducing me all along?”

“No!” Eiji turned away before Ash could see him flush. He went over to his bag sitting by the door, and brought it back. Ash sat up and watched as Eiji pulled out the bag Ash remembered from the restaurant.

“Asami-san gave it to me,” Eiji said pulling out its contents.

Ash laughed. “She’s pretty great, huh?” He picked up a box of condoms and then looked over the lube. “Tell her I said thanks.”

Eiji gave him a look. “You know I won’t.” And Ash laughed again.

Being with Eiji wasn’t like anything Ash had experienced before. It wasn’t just sex, and it wasn’t just fucking, both words too harsh and rough for the gentle way they touched each other. What was between them in that moment was intimate and it _meant_ something. It was important to Ash that he was there with Eiji, and he knew Eiji felt the same way. As good as it felt and as much as he wanted it for the act itself, it was more than that, and that difference meant the world to Ash.

What Ash felt in his heart accompanied by what he felt in his body was almost too much; he thought he might go crazy with it. Ash had thought the first time would have prepared him, but it was like the difference between dipping a toe in water and then jumping bodily in. Feeling Eiji move with him, the eager and helpless way he responded to everything Ash did, and god, the way he said Ash’s name, it was all going to make him lose his mind.

He fought it, when he felt his pleasure cresting; he tried to tamp it down. But it was like Eiji could tell what he was trying to do, and wouldn’t let him. Eiji kissed him and whispered in his ear, he said only three words, but they were everything.

Cleaning themselves up this time was harder. They were both weak limbed and a little light headed, but they pulled themselves and each other up and muddled through it. It was very late when they both collapsed back onto the futon. Ash picked up his watch, squinting in the dim light.

“I should probably go soon.”

Eiji’s hand curled around Ash’s bicep. “Okay.” He said, trying for an even tone.

Ash turned his head, and Eiji kissed him. “I’ll stay a little longer.”

“Will that be okay?”

“Yeah.”

They had put clothes back on now, and as they settled in together, Ash pulled the blanket up. He would let himself doze for a while; he had time.

 

 

Ash woke only a couple hours later; Eiji was fast asleep beside him, his head resting on Ash’s shoulder. He didn’t want to move him, but he really did need to leave. So, as carefully as he could, he got up. Despite his best efforts, Eiji began to stir, Ash saw him struggle to open his eyes.

“Ash?”

“I have to go.”

Eiji rubbed at his eyes and got up. “It’s okay,” Ash said, “I remember how to get back.”

Eiji blinked at him. “You do?”

“Yeah.” Ash could see Eiji was wavering. “Stay here, there’s no point in you going,” he kissed Eiji’s forehead, softly. “It’s late.” He could see Eiji’s resolve break, swayed by his words and gesture.

“I’ll walk you to the gate then.”

Ash could tell there was no point in arguing, so he didn’t. Ash’s clothes were still a little damp, but he changed into them anyway. He grabbed his things and went to meet a blurry-eyed Eiji who stood by the door waiting for him. Ash smiled as he put on his shoes.

“Not a night owl?”

Eiji frowned at him, and Ash tried not to laugh. They walked out together quietly, Ash taking his hand leading the way. When they got to the gate Eiji turned to him, he looked more awake. “You’re sure you remember?”

Ash nodded. “I could get anywhere we went today.”

“Show off,” Eiji said, but he was smiling.

“You like it.”

“I do.”

They smiled at each other, Ash could feel his own reluctance to leave echoed in Eiji. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes.”

They kissed with the wonderful ease of familiarity. And, Ash left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, in this chapter I finally reveal they've been in Canada all along! I'm JKR up in this, lmao, it doesn't really matter though, I've just been picturing them on a coast in British Colombia. But the thing about Canadian money smelling like maple syrup? That is a true fact, it's absolutely wild, you can't make that shit up. 
> 
> Also, Ash's opinion on the Beats writers? That's all me. I had to take a class in contemporary lit and it was all stuff by white American dudes, I did not enjoy that class at all. 
> 
> Writing this chapter reminded me how much I miss writing explicit sex scenes. The next thing I write is gonna include uncensored sex for sure. I am a firm believer in, "Write the smut you wish to see in the world." 
> 
> On that pleasant note, this story is wrapping up soon, I hope you'll stick around for the end! =)


	9. Darkest Before Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found it pretty funny that everyone's comments last chapter were basically "So sweet, but now I'm worried!" You are clearly genre savvy and understand story beats, cuz you're right. That said, I'm super nervous about this chapter. 
> 
> **TW implied rape threat.**

Ash walked out alone into the warm summer night. Nights like these wouldn’t last much longer, summer was lingering, but it would be gone soon. He wondered if he’d ever be able to enjoy another bout of summer rain without thinking of Eiji. Eiji with mussed hair and dark eyes, sun warmed skin that still showed colour every time he blushed. Ash bit his lip, remembering.

_Eiji broke away from the kiss on a moan. He was shaking a little, strung out and on the edge. Ash wanted to keep teasing him, watch the way his lovely mouth fell open, and feel the way the muscles in his stomach clenched as he teetered on the brink._

_“You’re not – fair – “ He broke off to make a small helpless noise._

_Ash laughed against Eiji’s skin. “No,” he agreed. “What're you gonna do about it?” He watched Eiji open his eyes and look at him, then surge up and flip them so Ash was the one on his back. He felt heat flare up in him instantly, surprised by how incredibly turned on he was by Eiji pinning him down._

_“This.”_

Ash was starting to feel hot, and it wasn’t because of the weather. It was very late, or very early, depending on how you thought of it, and there was no one around to see him suddenly break into a run.

He ran to clear his head, to try not to get caught up in memories that might sway him, make him think that turning around and going back was a good idea, the best idea. As Ash ran he felt laughter bubble up inside him, and didn’t know why.

He felt light headed and giddy, Ash felt like he was glowing. He ran down the empty streets feeling the wind flow over his skin and whip his hair, and felt like nothing bad could ever touch him. Everywhere Eiji had touched, kissed him, pressed his skin against him felt protected, like an invisible barrier lay on top of his skin. It was ridiculous, and Ash felt his heart soar.

The muscles in his legs strained, his knees were still a little weak and he wasn’t running as fast as he could, but he kept up a steady pace all the way back to the house. It was quiet as Ash approached; most of the lights in the house were off. Ash went to the back door and thoughtlessly turned the knob. He was surprised when it gave and opened. Ash frowned down at the door pausing mid-step. It was very strange that it hadn’t been locked. Maybe someone had come out for a smoke and had forgotten to lock it. Ash stepped into the house and shut the door behind him. He wanted to think it meant nothing.

The kitchen was completely dark, and Ash quietly emerged in the hallway. He listened hard for footsteps, for any sound that would mean someone was close, but he heard nothing. That was strange too. Even with fewer guards after Golzine left there was usually someone walking around the halls. Ash felt a growing unease.

He walked into the well-lit hallways and carefully made his way to the stairs. He went on high alert the whole way, but there was no sign of anyone.

Coming onto the second floor landing he finally heard the sound of footsteps. In an instant, Ash ducked into a shadowed corner, knowing his cover was no cover at all. The footsteps weren’t heavy, they were light, and Ash saw Sofia appear. She was frowning her eyebrows drawn and her mouth twisted, she almost looked worried, and it was the most expressive Ash had ever seen her. She was walking directly toward him.

Ash ran a variety of things he could do or say over in his mind, none of them were particularly good. He hadn’t expected to see anyone other than a lone guard patrolling the halls. As she got closer, she suddenly peered into his corner, Ash didn’t know what had tipped her off, but it was like she could sense him, because her eyes found his. She subtly put up a hand telling him to stay put and glanced around, then quickly made her way over.

“You need to leave.” Was the first thing she said, voice low and urgent.

“What’s happening?” Ash felt like all his fears had been realized, but he had no choice but to face them.

She shook her head once, clearly agitated, “Go, just go. She already sold you out.”

“’She’? Who? What’s happening?”

Sofia looked him square in the eye, her dark eyes hard. “Alba.”

Ash felt his head swim and his heart sink, it felt like ice water had been poured down his back. _No. No way._ He could picture her friendly smile and the determined light in her eyes. _No. No. No._

“I can’t.” Ash said, hearing his own voice as if from far away.

Sofia swore quietly and succinctly in Spanish. She said something else to him and then grimly, “I won’t stay.” And hurried down the stairs.

Ash abruptly began to walk, heading instinctively back to his own room, Sofia’s words ringing in his ears.

 _Entonces, que Dios te bendiga._ Then, may God bless you.

Somehow, Ash thought god had nothing to do with what he was about to walk into, but he appreciated the sentiment all the same.

When he arrived at his room the door was closed, and the halls had been eerily quiet and empty. Ash took a moment to breathe, he thought briefly of his brother, and of Eiji. He exhaled and opened the door.

“Out passed curfew?” Golzine said turning to face him as the door swung open, he made a disapproving sound. “I thought you knew better.”

 

*

Back in his room Eiji kicked his shoes off and crawled back into his bed. The sheets smelled like Ash, they smelled like –

Eiji blushed just thinking about it. He felt stupid, flustered over the mere memory of it. But, Ash had looked at him with invitation in his eyes, he had gasped when Eiji touched him, and had arched his body into Eiji’s. When he closed his eyes, Eiji could still see Ash, a deep flush painting his golden skin, chest rising and falling rapidly, and fist gripping the futon.

Eiji buried his face in his pillow and tried to think calm thoughts. He shouldn’t have let his mind wander down this particular road, his eyes burned from lack of sleep, but his brain was wired now.

Trying to think of something else, Eiji considered his upcoming move. He should probably start packing right away; he didn’t have a lot of time. Thankfully having little money also meant having little to pack. Eiji took inventory of the things he would need to take with him in his mind; he could probably fit it all in one bag, though he wasn’t sure what to do with his computer. Asami-san would probably keep it for him, and maybe one day he could send for it.

Attention successfully diverted he felt his eyes grow heavy again.

_He didn’t know where he was, he felt he was looking for something – someone, he knew it was urgent but –_

_Eiji!_

_Someone was calling him, he couldn’t see anything, and he wandered around blindly. He felt frantic._

_Eiji!_

_He knew that voice. His heart was beating hard in his chest. Something was very wrong._

EIJI!

His eyes snapped open, heart racing, his own name ringing in his ears.

Eiji knew beyond a doubt that Ash was in trouble, he could feel it, he just knew. He didn’t stop to think rationally, things would have probably turned out very differently if he had. But, all he could think in that moment was that Ash needed him, and Eiji had to go, had to help him. So, he scrambled up, shoved his feet in his shoes, and ran out into the night.

*

There were three other people in the room, and two guns drawn, one of which was pointed at Ash. Surprisingly, it wasn’t the gun Golzine held, his gun was trained on someone sitting to his right. It was Alba; she sat on the bed, holding onto the edge of the mattress, the room was too dim to see, but Ash imagined if he could he would see her knuckles turned white. She looked up at him when he stepped into the room, but Ash couldn’t meet her gaze.

“Drop the bag.” Ash did. Conscience of the fact that his phone was in there, he set it aside carelessly, hoping it wouldn’t draw Golzine’s attention. Golzine sighed deeply then. He was framed against the window, and in the dark room the light from the moon only served to throw him into deep shadow. “I’m disappointed in you, Ash.” Golzine said, and he really sounded like he was. “I thought you had learned your lesson. I thought you valued your brother if you valued anyone. But, perhaps your particular breed of wild cat is more of a lone wolf.”

Ash grit his teeth.

“I have to admit,” Golzine adjusted his grip on the gun, “I don’t really see what you hoped to achieve with,” he gestured with his free hand, “this.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Golzine gave him a look, like his star pupil had stumbled the day of the big race. “We both know that’s not true. There’s no need to pretend, your friend here has told be everything.” He took a step toward Alba.

Ash saw her flinch slightly, and then straighten out, refusing to cower. “I’m so sorry, Ash,” she said, quietly. Her voice trembled only slightly; he still couldn’t look at her.

“Make me a drink, will you, darling?” Golzine prodded Alba with the gun. She got up and went to a drinks table that hadn’t been there before. Golzine repositioned himself so he could keep his gun trained on her and still keep Ash in his sights. Ash took that moment to size up the man who was pointing a gun at him. He recognized him right away. It was the one man in Golzine’s employ who seemed genuinely kind. Philip.

There was the faint clink of ice on glass and with a drink in his other hand Golzine began to speak once more. “So, you amassed your own gang here too, planned to break into my safe, steal my money, and use the information to find your brother.” Golzine took a sip of his drink and looked at Ash evenly. “Did I leave anything out?”

“I was gonna burn this place down too.” Ash smiled, and it was all teeth.

Golzine didn’t look amused. “Fool hardly. I think all the sun has gone to your head. You were never going to get away with such a ridiculous plan, you must have known. And, if you were hoping for a timely intervention by this gang, you should know no one will come for you, my men are patrolling the parameter.” He took another drink. “We’ll have to start this whole thing over. I’ll have to keep you on a tighter leash, until you learn.”

Golzine stepped over to Alba and pressed the barrel of his gun to her head. Ash saw her swallow, shaking slightly, but she didn’t make a sound. “I think you deserve a little slap on the wrist for all this trouble you’ve caused us. Hand on the dresser, Ash.” Ash looked at him, and Golzine prodded Alba’s head with the gun. Ash walked over to the dresser and laid his hand flat on its surface. “Philip.” Philip glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, and then went over to Ash with grim determination. He readjusted his hold on his gun, and then brought the butt of it down onto Ash’s hand.

Ash exhaled slowly through his nose, refusing to cry out as he felt the sensitive tendons of his hand crushed on impact. Golzine nodded, satisfied, and Ash withdrew his shaking hand. His right hand was now a sharp point of pain, but Ash ignored it, wishing it would stop trembling.

Ash looked over at Philip who had stepped back too. He seemed perfectly fine, and Ash knew there would be no magic to save him now.

“Oh,” added Golzine, as if in an afterthought, “and something must be done to your brother, to really drive the lesson home.”

Ash took a step toward him, fist clenched. He heard the distinct click of the safety being taken off on a gun and shot a look from the corner of his eye to Philip whose mouth was a hard line. Ash could hear the blood rush in his ears.

Golzine shook his head sadly, like Ash just kept letting him down. “Before we do anything with your brother, and there will be something, believe me, I think it’s time to teach you a lesson. Maybe if you are good, I’ll be gentle with him. Take Ash to my room.” This last was to Philip.

Philip stepped forward, Ash looked at Golzine for a second longer, then turned and began to walk. His mind buzzed with everything he had just heard. Alba hadn’t told Golzine the truth, not really. To help account for all the time he spent out, Alba had said Ash was ‘amassing a gang,’ and while he never spelled out his plan to her, she had to know that wasn’t true at all. Ash was fully aware she suspected how he was really spending his time. And, she had told Golzine about Ash’s plans as if he hadn’t already gone through with them. Alba had had to tell Golzine about Ash’s brother, she hadn’t been able to protect Griffin, but she had protected Eiji, and that wasn’t nothing.

Ash’s thoughts then turned to his current situation. He was positive he could disarm and kill Philip as easy as breathing, but it wasn’t the gun trained on him that made him hesitant.

When they got to the room Ash went over and sat on the bed. Philip stood by the door gun still aimed at him. Ash had the feeling again that he looked familiar. It wasn’t until he turned his head at the sound of footsteps and Alba came in that Ash realized why. There was something about his profile, a fleeting impression of his features in the full light that made him look like Alba. Ash looked between them as Golzine came into the room. The more he looked the more convinced he was.

Golzine walked over to the dresser and put his gun down, clearly confident that he didn’t need it anymore, so he must have threatened their mother as well as Alba. Ash felt hatred burn in his throat. It was like he could taste it with every swallow.

Golzine took off his jacket and draped it over a chair. “I don’t think we’ll be needing an audience today.” He waved his hand dismissively at the siblings who both stood by the door. “I’ll call for you later.”

Finally, Ash met Alba’s gaze. She was crying, tears falling unchecked down her face, and she only moved when Philip put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Before she turned away Ash called out, “I thought you said your brother died.”

Alba looked at him with obvious guilt. “Our older brother.” She said.

Ash nodded his head once, but said nothing more. He hoped she understood that he didn’t hold it against her. Before – before everything he might have, might have cursed his decision to trust someone else, to let anyone close, but he didn’t in that moment, he couldn’t. Despite everything, Alba had still been his friend, and when her back was against the wall, she had still done what she could to help him. He was grateful.

“I’m so sorry,” she said again, and Ash felt the truth in her words, he could see it in her stricken expression. Philip pushed her gently through the door. Ash watched them leave the room, closing the door behind them, and took a breath.

On the other side of the bed, Golzine was finishing his drink. He had undone the top buttons of his shirt. Nothing had been done yet, but Ash already wanted to throw up.

Golzine calmly walked over to him and struck him hard across the face. “Why do you make me hurt you, Ash?” Golzine made a small sympathetic noise and caressed his throbbing cheek. “Your poor beautiful face.”

Ash was swept up suddenly in all the ways this was unfair. So many things in his life had been unfair, and he had thought, for one bright beautiful moment that it was all behind him. Ash looked down at the bracelet on his wrist, knowing it would do nothing for him now. He remembered Eiji telling him the magic was weak, and Ash’s only reply that he didn’t need it in Golzine’s absence.

It was stupid of Ash to think he could be free, he had thought he had known better than that, after all this time.

Golzine kicked off his shoes, and took off his belt. Ash couldn’t decide if it was better or worse to think of Eiji in that moment.

Golzine motioned for Ash to move up the bed, and he did, mechanically.

Would it help him to remember the way it felt when Eiji touched him, or would that only remind him that it was someone else touching him now?

No, he didn’t want to conflate the two. He pushed everything else away, and felt himself retreat far into his own mind, as he hadn’t done in months, barely noticing when his head fell against soft pillows.

Golzine loomed above him, and Ash closed his eyes.

At the first hateful touch, Golzine suddenly paused. From a distance came a soft _thump_. Then, a not so soft _bang_. They heard gunshots, lots of them. He and Golzine were both frozen. In the ringing silence that followed, Ash moved on reflex, he pushed Golzine off, jumped up, and made for the gun.

Hearing the sudden commotion had been like an electric shock. It was as if it had restarted Ash’s heart, sent feeling through his body, and dispelled the numbness. He didn’t want to give in, he never had. For one moment he had fallen into despair and forgotten that. But, now he remembered.

This was at once the easier and harder way. Ash had been willing to take any and all consequences for his actions, but he had been right earlier, it wasn’t fair. There was a limit to what he could do for others, and when so much had already been taken from him, was it really so wrong that he fight for what little he had left?

Something Ash always had trouble accepting came to him then more clearly than it ever had, like a voice in his head: _Yours is also a human life, and it has value too._ He felt it in that moment to be true, if even in its smallest measure.

Ash picked up the gun and trained it on Golzine.

Golzine stood by the bed breathing hard. He lifted his hands up slowly. “What now, Ash?” He asked. “Will you shoot me?” Ash just looked at him, so Golzine continued, stepping forward. “Any information I had about your brother’s whereabouts has been destroyed. He’ll be moved before you can get to him, and not even I know where he will be.”

Ash smiled, and it was all sharp edges. “I don’t need you to tell me,” he said, “I already know.” He watched Golzine’s lips thin at his words with some satisfaction. “I don’t need you around for anything.” Ash had already instructed Alex that in the event they move Griffin before they got him out, to forgo the plan and extract him right away. Ash couldn’t afford to let Griffin be moved anywhere else, not if he didn’t know for sure he would get another chance to free him.

Initially he had hoped to coordinate Griffin’s rescue with his own escape. It wasn’t as seamless as Ash had originally planned, it was a bigger gamble, but he thought the odds didn’t look half bad.

More gunshots rang out somewhere below them. Ash thought about Alba and Philip.

“The girl,” said Golzine now, and Ash could feel him grasping at straws. His last desperate gambit. “My men will kill her mother if they don’t hear from me.”

“And why should I care?” Ash asked calmly.

Golzine paused to look at him, sizing him up. Ash returned his look coolly. “You care.” Golzine said slowly, moving closer, Ash watched him. “I think, Ash, you care very much. And, I think it’s that bleeding heart of yours that will get you killed one day.”

Ash considered him, cocking his head a little to the side. “Maybe,” he conceded, “but not before I see you dead.”

He didn’t like that he might be in some way responsible for any pain or suffering Alba and her family went through, but Ash couldn’t put it all on himself anymore.

All at once Ash became aware of the sound of footsteps. A single pair of them, running in their direction. Ash braced himself for combat, but when the door flew open, he felt suddenly disarmed. Because, it wasn’t one of Golzine’s men or even someone from the house that appeared; it was Eiji.

Breathing hard, Eiji stood in the doorway taking in the scene. He looked at Ash with eyes full of panic that melted into relief. “ _Ash_ ,” he said breathlessly, his lovely accent changing the shape of his name. Ash felt his mouth fall open in surprise, his heart leapt, like it wanted to pull him to Eiji.

The wonderful thing about Eiji, one of the best things about him, was that he had the ability to smooth away Ash’s sharp edges. He turned Ash from knifepoint to blunt edge, and as much as Ash loved that, in that moment it was his Achilles heel.

His guard down, Golzine rushed him, knocking Ash flat on his back. His head hit the floor with a sharp crack, and the pain in his hand made itself known again. Dazed, Ash had barely a moment to register what was happening, and it was only his extensive training that kept his grip on the gun.

Golzine had thrown himself down on top of Ash, knocking the wind out of him. He was trying to rip the gun from his hand. Ash’s attention was pulled away from danger for the second time in only a short span when he heard the sound of a body falling hard to the ground, the impact of knees on wood. Knowing he shouldn’t even as he did, Ash looked over at Eiji.

The gun was wrenched from his hand, and Ash only caught a fleeting look at Eiji on all fours, gasping. The gun that was now trained on Ash fired once, and he just barely managed to shove it to the side in time so the bullet buried itself in the floor and not his head.

They wrestled for the gun while Ash was dimly aware of Eiji’s laboured breathing. Golzine’s sheer weight was bearing down on him. He was fighting harder than Ash had ever thought he could. Good hand still struggling for the gun, he brought the fingers of his shaking hand up to dig into Golzine’s eyes. The other man screamed and the gun went off again, four times.

The third time Ash looked away was when Eiji made another noise that sounded suspiciously like Ash’s name. In the second it took for him to look back, Golzine’s fist collided with the side of his face. He hardly felt the pain, but black spots exploded in his vision. Ash felt no fear for himself, but his terror for Eiji was flowing like blood throughout his body. It made his arms shake as he fought for the gun, and pumped adrenaline through his body.

“ASH!”

Eiji’s voice caught both men’s attention. Feeling the gun slip from his grasp, it was like it was happening in slow motion. In that spilt second he had to make a decision, Ash didn’t even think, he grabbed the barrel of the gun and pointed it at himself. The sound of gunshots filled the air.

The next moment was a jumble of movement and impressions.

“ _Ash_!”

“He’s alright, it didn’t hit anything vital.”

Ash blinked to clear his vision, the terrible weight of a body crushing his was removed, and Eiji’s tear stained face looked down at him. Ash brought up his hand to touch Eiji’s cheek, and then frowned when he left blood on Eiji’s skin.

“No, don’t move your hand,” Eiji said urgently, his voice shaky. Ash looked at his own hand, and realized he had been shot straight through.

“We need to leave,” a woman’s voice, Alba.

Ash gave himself a mental shake, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and forced himself to concentrate. Eiji was gently tying a handkerchief around Ash’s hand and then he and Alba were helping Ash stand. It was then that he noticed a sharp pain in his shoulder.

He glanced over at the body lying on the floor. Golzine facedown, unmoving. Ash was surprised when he felt nothing. No relief, no satisfaction, he looked at the dead body of the man who had used and abused him for years, kidnapped him and his brother, and he felt nothing. He could have been looking simply at another aspect of the room. He turned away.

“My phone,” Ash said, as they made their way out of Golzine’s room.

“We don’t have time, Ash! The police – “

“No, I need my phone.” Ash tried to pull away from them.

Alba made a frustrated noise and then tossed over her shoulder as she bolted down the hallway. “Fine!”

Eiji helped him down the stairs where Alba caught up with them. Ash noticed the smoke first, and then all the bodies of Golzine’s men scattered about.

“What happened?” Ash asked.

“No time,” Alba answered.

They made their way to the garage, the smoke making them cough, and stinging their eyes. Philip was already there; he ran over to them and stopped when Alba put up her hand. “Hurry,” she said.

Producing keys for the least flashy car that was available, Philip motioned them in. It was obviously one of the cars that had been used by Golzine’s men rather than Golzine himself. Philip drove, Alba in the passenger seat beside him, and in the back Ash and Eiji sat together, Ash leaning his uninjured side heavily against him.

As they pulled out of the garage, Ash looked back, black smoke was pouring out of the house. He allowed himself only a handful of seconds to look at the house that had held him prisoner, and then witnessed his freedom, before he turned back.

“Here,” Alba twisted in her seat and passed Eiji a waded up shirt. “Put pressure on that.” She gestured to Ash’s shoulder. Eiji did as he was told, it was a bit like an awkward embrace, but Ash didn’t complain.

“Were you the one who shot Golzine?”

Alba met Ash’s gaze, “Yes.”

He nodded. “What happened?” Ash asked again.

She told him. Alba told him about making it all the way to the kitchen and knowing she couldn’t just leave Ash. She told him about Philip going out to take down Golzine’s men one by one, while she tried to figure out what had happened to their mother. And, in the confusion Eiji suddenly appearing. “I knew he wasn’t one of Golzine’s,” Alba said, gesturing to Eiji. “So I let him go, I had to help my brother. But, when I heard gunshots, I went up.”

“Even though I told you to wait for me,” Philip interjected, sounding annoyed.

“You were busy,” Alba replied shooting him a look. “When I heard him yell,” she nodded toward Eiji, “I panicked, I just – I didn’t even think – “ Alba broke off, like she was remembering.

“Thank you,” Ash said after a slight pause.

Alba looked at him in surprise. “Don’t thank me. It’s my fault this happened, I shouldn’t have – “

“No.” Ash said firmly. “You saved us.” Alba looked at him again, tears welling in her eyes. She blinked them away. “And, you’re not a bad shot.” He added.

She gave him the smallest hint of a smile. “Thanks. Maybe one day I’ll give you pointers.”

It surprised a laugh out of Ash. He winced; his shoulder really did hurt.

They were all quiet for a moment. With his good hand, Ash gently took the shirt from Eiji and pressed it to his own shoulder, knowing Eiji’s arm was getting tired.

His voice barely above a whisper, Ash said, “You came.”

Eiji gave him a look that clearly said he thought Ash was being slow. “Of course.”

“How did you know?”

Eiji looked away for a moment, then turned back to him. “It was Kaoru.” He said finally, looking as if he thought Ash wouldn’t believe him. “He tried to warn me and I – I just knew.”

They looked at each other. Then Ash carefully pressed his forehead to Eiji’s. “Well, it was really stupid of you to come. You’re an idiot.” Eiji made a small noise of indignation, and Ash smiled. “But, I love that about you too.”

Eiji moved back a little to look at him. Neither one of them had failed to notice Ash’s choice of words.

Philip cleared his throat loudly. “I hate to interrupt,” he said, and it really sounded like he did. “But, where am I going?”

Ash stole a kiss from Eiji’s surprised mouth, watching him blush in the very limited streetlight. He felt warm as Eiji tried to look annoyed but only succeeded in appearing even cuter. “Isn't it obvious?” Ash said, not looking away from Eiji. "We have to go help your mom."

"And then, where are we supposed to go?"

"I think I can help." Said Eiji. Ash smiled at him, and Eiji smiled back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pulling all the threads of plot into some semblance of order reminds me why I usually don't write plot. ^^;; I hope this made sense, if it still doesn't, that's what chapter 10 is for! 
> 
> Hopefully everything read okay, and the descriptions of stuff wasn't too much. I try to be vague but get the point across when it comes to violence or anything harmful. I find violence easier to handle than rape, which is part of why I literally magicked it away for this series, I didn't want Ash to go through that anymore. 
> 
> Anyway, one more chapter to go! =)


	10. The Clear Night Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took forever!!! The last chapters of fics always get me. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

'Cause there's no better love  
That beckons above me  
There's no better love  
That ever has loved me  
There's no better love  
So darling, feel better love  
'Cause there's no better love  
That's laid beside me  
There's no better love  
That justifies me  
There's no better love  
So darling, darling, feel better love  
Feel better love

- _Better Love_ , Hozier

 

They were a strange little band. But no one questioned each other’s right to be there, and everyone took it for granted that the other could be trusted. They all relied on each other’s judgement, if Alba or Ash vouched for them, then that was enough.

When they got to the siblings’ house they took a moment to consider their plan of action. There was one unknown car parked in the driveway, and after talking to Philip it seemed to Ash like only two of Golzine’s men had been assigned to watch their mother.

Luring them outside and taking them out was surprisingly easy. Two of Golzine’s men, and not particularly good ones weren’t any kind of challenge, but keeping things quiet was, they couldn’t let them shoot, or shoot at the men themselves, so despite the pain in his hands and shoulder, Ash grabbed one man and brought him down quickly while Philip held the other in a chokehold. Alba and Eiji collected Alba’s mother, a little shaken, but otherwise fine.

The siblings grabbed a few things from the house, tying up Golzine’s men and leaving them there. They left.

If they had been a strange group before, they were more so now.

Philip spoke to his mother in rapid Spanish as they left their home. Alba had moved to sit in the back with Ash and Eiji; she grumbled as she took a look at Ash’s hand, “I told you not to strain it.” She put pressure on to stop the bleeding again. It hurt, but it wasn’t anything that Ash couldn’t handle, and he only shrugged a little, with his one good shoulder.

“Where now?” Philip called.

Ash hesitated. There was a place he had in mind, the next town over, but he was wary of having them all in the same place. He meant originally to have only himself, and hopefully, Eiji with him. He bit the inside of his cheek as he thought.

“We can go to Asami’s,” Eiji spoke up, breaking Ash out of his reverie. He gave Philip the address before Ash could protest.

“Eiji.” Ash started, but Eiji shook his head.

“We need to stop somewhere soon, you need to get that looked at,” he gestured to Ash’s shoulder. “No one will look for us at the inn.”

Ash wasn’t so sure about that. He suddenly regretted walking all over town with Eiji. People would have seen them together, and that was worrying.

“He’s right,” Alba put in.

Maybe it was the blood loss, or the slow drain of adrenaline that made him relent so easily. Ash suddenly felt exhausted, and he thought maybe spending one night at the inn might be okay. He agreed with the condition that Alba and her family only drop them off and then go to the next town.

“We can’t all be in the same place, it’s not safe.” Ash explained, leaning his head back, feeling it spin a little. “And, ditch this car first chance you get.”

Getting out of the car when they arrived at the inn made Ash wince, he hurt all over. He was grateful when Eiji quickly came to help support him on his left, his relatively uninjured side. Ash turned back to the car, ready to bid his farewell, but saw Alba was out with them, leaning into the driver’s side window and speaking to her family. She spoke in a low sharp tone, and when she finally straightened, she stepped back.

Already knowing, but still having to ask, Ash said, “What are you doing?” The car slowly reversed. “Hey!”

Alba turned to look at him determinedly, “You’re in bad shape, come on.”

Before Ash could protest, Asami came rushing out from the side entrance. Her hair looking hastily thrown up, but from her expression it didn’t seem as if she had just woken.

“Ei-chan!” She looked around at them all, and then hurriedly went to close the gates behind the car. Coming back she gestured them quickly into the main house, glancing nervously around. Ash could hear sirens in the distance.

Asami led them in around back to a small guest room on the first floor. She said something in Japanese and hurried back out.

“She said she’ll be right back,” Eiji explained without prompting, helping Ash sit down on one of the cushions placed on the floor.

Alba looked around and began turning on lights. Then she knelt beside Ash and gestured to him, “Take off your shirt.”

Ash raised his eyebrows, but Alba only gave him a flat impatient look. He couldn’t quite lift his right arm, when they saw his aborted movements; Alba and Eiji began to help him, gently manoeuvring his limbs and clothing. It was a bit strange to have others do something for him that he was used to doing himself, he didn’t particularly enjoy it, but he bit his tongue.

He saw Alba glance at Eiji and then she said, “I’m Alba, by the way.”

Eiji looked at her in surprise, and Ash wasn’t sure where the surprise came from until he saw him blush a little as he said, “Oh, I’m sorry! I’m Eiji, nice to meet you.” Trust Eiji to be concerned he was being rude at a time like this.

Asami came back. From the looks of it she had brought a first aid kit, Alba didn’t hesitate to reach out for it. While Alba rummaged through it, Asami spoke to Eiji in Japanese. Ash wasn’t anywhere near proficient enough to understand what they were saying. He caught useless things, like “I” and recognized some particles, but none of that revealed what was being said.

Meanwhile, Alba had pulled out bandages, alcohol, gloves, and a small sewing kit.

“This is going to sting,” she said, which was the only warning Ash got before she began to clean the wound. Ash sucked in a breath, but otherwise didn’t make a sound. He saw Eiji shoot him a concerned look, Ash tried for a reassuring smile that might have had more of the opposite effect from the expression on Eiji’s face. Thankfully, Asami said something then that pulled his attention reluctantly away from Ash.

Ash watched as Alba worked and was impressed by how extensive the first aid kit was. It seemed more like a disaster relief kit, because Alba pulled a small scalpel and tweezers from it. Ash wasn’t looking forward to what he knew she would have to do. A small cut over the bullet wound came, Ash grit his teeth, and felt the tweezers dig into his flesh and then pull something from it. It was a strange and wholly unpleasant sensation. He could do without having to feel that ever again.

Once that was done, it was just a mattered of cleaning the wound once more, and stitching him up. By then Asami had finished her conversation with Eiji and left again. Eiji was watching attentively as Alba worked, sitting on Ash’s other side, biting his lip. His brows were furrowed so hard, Ash wanted to reach out and smooth the wrinkles that formed between them. He didn’t, because now Alba was looking at his hand. She made a low sympathetic noise as she carefully worked on his hand.

There was a small windup flashlight in the first aid kit; Alba had Eiji use it to shine light over Ash’s hand as she worked. When she was done she frowned down at his hand. “You know you still have to go to a doctor for this. I did what I could for it now, but your hand worries me.”

Ash nodded, he didn’t have time to go to a doctor at any point in the near future, but he didn’t say that. There was no point in upsetting either Alba or Eiji at the moment. “Thank you,” he said instead.

Asami came back then, she had brought a tray with her, it was filled with glasses, water, orange juice, and cookies. Ash was reminded of the refreshments they gave out at blood donor clinics, and maybe that was exactly what Asami was trying to emulate, he took everything gratefully.

“Is everyone all right?” She asked, glancing at Ash’s newly stitched and bandaged wounds. When they nodded at her, none of them really having the strength to elaborate at that moment, she smiled a little. “Ei-chan says you need a place to stay for a little while, you’re all welcome to stay here, for as long as you need.” She put up a hand when they all began to speak at once. “Don’t worry about us, we can take care of ourselves. Now, if you need anything else, don’t hesitate to ask. But, I’ll leave you all to rest, you must be exhausted.” She turned to Alba, “If you need to change I can get you some clothes.”

“Thank you, but I’d actually like to use your phone if that’s alright. I should be going.”

“What?” Eiji and Ash turned to look at her.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay, Ash,” she said, smiling a little. “I’m worried about my mom, I should be with her.”

Ash nodded, he couldn’t really argue that.

“I’ll get you something else to wear then,” Asami said already getting up.

“Oh, no, that’s – “

“I insist,” Asami pressed as she vanished into the hallway, carefully closing the door behind her.

“You can’t go out like that anyway, you’d attract too much attention.” Ash pointed out. Alba wore her scrubs that now sported bloodstains. Not unusual for scrubs, but still too memorable for someone who needed to move quietly. “Let me know when you reach your family,” Ash said after a quiet moment. Alba hesitated then nodded. Ash narrowed his eyes at her, “You better contact me. I’ll help you guys get out of here.” Again Alba seemed to hesitate, but she nodded, smiling at Ash a little ruefully.

“I guess this is goodbye, huh?”

“Yeah.”

They looked at each other for a moment. It was strange for Ash to think they may never see each other again. He hadn’t known Alba for long, but she had been worth knowing, and now they had to go their separate ways.

“I’m sorry I messed up at the end there,” Alba said after a brief pause. The words seemed to burst from her, like she couldn’t help them. “You trusted me and I – “

Ash shook his head, and regretted it a second later when it spun slightly. “I told you already, it’s fine.” Alba gave him a look and Ash smiled a little. “Okay, not _fine_ , but I get it. You had to do what you had to do. No hard feelings.”

“Thanks,” Alba said, looking like she was only reluctantly accepting his response. “This doesn’t have to be goodbye forever,” she added. “But, if it is, I’m glad we met.”

“Me too.”

Alba reached out, and then paused, her arms hovering over Ash. She seemed to remember in that last moment that this form of affection and intimacy might be unwanted, or at least not well received without warning. But, Ash reached out too, as much as he could, and hugged his friend. Her touch was light, but warm, and Ash was surprised by the emotion he felt knowing he was saying goodbye.

When Alba withdrew she was smiling. As she made to get up she ruffled his hair. Looking at Eiji she said, “Take care of him.”

“Of course,” Eiji replied without missing a beat, “Take care of yourself, and thank you.”

She nodded. Asami had come back, and passed Alba her change of clothes. She took them, smiled one last time at them, and then followed Asami back out. The young men watched her go.

After a short moment Ash felt careful fingers on his arm. Eiji, sweet and soft beside him, his feelings of concern obvious in his expression. Ash wanted to fall against him, press his face into the warmth of Eiji’s body and stay like that for a long while. Instead, he tried for a smile.

“Are we staying here?”

Eiji glanced around the room. “Maybe we should.”

“What about your place, can we go back?”

Eiji frowned at him, “You should rest.”

Ash smiled, more genuinely this time. “It’s not like it’s far. Come on, I’ll feel more comfortable there.” He made to get up, feeling stiff and sore, his body protesting his movement. Ash ignored it, but he was grateful when Eiji carefully put his arm around him to help him up.

They walked slowly over; neither of them said anything. Eiji’s small apartment looked just like Ash had left it. The time they had spent there together already felt distant as if it had happened weeks ago, instead of only a few hours. The sky outside was starting to lighten; in the distance Ash could hear sirens.

Eiji helped him take off his shoes and then slowly sit. He winced a little, and Eiji made to get back up. With a shaky hand Ash caught his sleeve. It was reflex, and when Eiji looked at him in surprise, his expression must have been explanation enough, because he didn’t question Ash. Eiji softly pressed his own hand over Ash’s and then placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. “I’m going to get you something for the pain, okay?” Eiji nodded his head toward the kitchen.

Ash let go of Eiji’s sleeve, his panic easing, dissipating as he watched Eiji go to the kitchen. It was an oddly comforting scene, Eiji moving through his kitchen, and then coming back. He passed Ash two pills, then the glass of water, and took it from him when he was done. With Eiji’s help Ash was laid down on his back. It would take a few minutes for the medicine to take affect, but he already felt better.

Kneeling beside him Eiji said softly, “I have to go talk to Asami-san,” he added quickly, “I’ll be right back, I promise.”

He didn’t want Eiji to go. Ash felt like a child waking from a nightmare, wanting to beg their parent to stay with them. Ash didn’t say anything though, only nodded his head, he wasn’t a child, and Eiji was free to go. Eiji brushed back Ash’s bangs, his fingers softly trailing along Ash’s skin, and then slowly leaned down. The taste of Eiji’s mouth was achingly familiar. Much too soon, Eiji pulled back, smiling reassuringly, and then left.

Despite his exhaustion, and pain, and the overwhelming desire to let oblivion take him, Ash fought to stay awake. His head didn’t feel as light anymore, which he took for a good sign. His right hand still trembled a little even though he wasn’t trying to use it at all. That was probably a bad sign.

Ash took a deep breath, turning his head, trying to catch Eiji’s lingering scent, letting that comfort him in Eiji’s absence, and slowly let it out. It was difficult to keep himself from overthinking things. They weren’t in a good place. As it was, there were a lot of things that could go wrong, and Ash worried about the time he would need to sleep instead of moving on his plans. And then there was Griffin. He needed to know what was happening with his brother.

He blinked, feeling the effort it cost him to open his eyes again after he closed them.

Finally, Eiji came back. It was probably only fifteen minutes or so, but to Ash it felt four times as long. Ash blinked, longer this time, fighting to open his eyes again. There was the rustling of clothing, the sound of footsteps, and then, at long last, Eiji by his side again. He laid himself out beside Ash, carefully slipping under the covers too, and then a warm hand on Ash’s arm. “You should sleep.” Eiji said quietly.

They were looking at each other, Ash struggling to keep his eyes open, Eiji looking like he was ready to sleep too. “Wake me up a few hours.” Ash considered, “Four hours.”

“Ash,” Eiji began in protest.

“Four hours.” Ash repeated more firmly, his eyes closed, he couldn’t seem to open them again. He heard more rustling, felt Eiji moving once more. And then heard his soft reply.

“Okay." 

Ash couldn’t manage a reply in return; he was already asleep.

  

 

Slowly, Ash was pulled into wakefulness by voices. One of them he recognized immediately, Eiji’s voice, low and agitated. The other he didn’t know, a man’s voice, it seemed like. Ash hovered in an in between state of sleeping and waking as he listened, trying to make out the words. It took him a moment to realize he couldn’t understand what was being said because it wasn’t in English. Ash wasn’t sure if it was because he was still caught in sleep that he couldn’t make out what language, but he didn’t think it sounded like Japanese either.

It didn’t sound like Eiji was distressed, his tone, when raised, sounded irritated, but otherwise fine. If it had sounded differently, Ash might have had the motivation to push himself into waking, but as it was, he didn’t. Another moment later and he fell back into sleep.

 

 

Later, Ash woke fully, again to the sound of Eiji’s voice, but closer this time.

“Ash.”

Ash made a noise and struggled to open his eyes. It was no small effort to finally force them open, and when he did he was looking into Eiji’s tired face. He had dark circles under his eyes, looking as tired as Ash felt, but he smiled when Ash focused his gaze on him.

“It’s been four hours.”

It took Ash a moment to understand the words, to remember this little amount of sleep had been his own idea. His body still hurt, maybe more than it had before, and so did his eyes, but that was obviously lack of sleep. As much as Ash wanted to sink back into sleep, there wasn’t time. Instead he silently gestured for Eiji’s help sitting up. It still hurt, Ash made a small sound of pain he didn’t even notice.

“Are you okay?” Eiji asked, and then smiled a little ruefully. “I know you’re not okay, I mean, you know.”

Ash did know. He was usually grumpy first thing in the morning, not in the mood to talk or really acknowledge anyone, but he found he didn’t mind talking to Eiji. “I’m okay.”

Eiji nodded, “Are you hungry? Asami-san made us breakfast.”

When he said that Ash registered the smell of food, and suddenly he was famished. Before they ate, Eiji helped him get up, and there was one minute of serious debate where Ash insisted he didn’t need help in the bathroom. That wasn’t, strictly speaking, true. He was a bit unsteady, but everything was so close together in Eiji’s bathroom it was easy to lean on something for support if he needed it, and Ash managed without incident.

He hobbled back out, ignoring the protests of his muscles as he somewhat unsteadily, lowered himself back down to sit on the floor as Eiji moved around the kitchen.

“Asami-san brought us fish and rice for breakfast, is that okay?” Eiji asked, as he poured tea. Ash replied that it was, watching as Eiji set up a tray to bring the food and drinks over. When he set them down on the low table Ash was seated at, there came a faint buzzing noise. Ash frowned and turned his head toward the noise, it sounded like –

Eiji had turned to look too, practically jumping at the sound, looking in the same direction with an expression of surprise and disbelief. The buzzing came again, and again. They both sat motionless, staring at the source, Ash’s bag sitting by the entrance. Finally, they turned to look at each other, and then Eiji scrambled up, almost tripping over his feet in his haste, and snatched up Ash’s bag bringing it over to him.

Eiji held it out, and then pulled it back in a second later realizing Ash would have trouble going through his bag one handed. He correctly assumed Ash wouldn’t mind him rummaging through it. When he found the source of the noise, Ash’s phone, Eiji silently proffered it. Ash took it, turning on the screen. He had unread messages, some of them from only a minute ago. Ash blinked slowly as he stared at the screen, looking at the connectivity. He had a signal; the data was working just fine. The last time he had checked his phone with Eiji, forgetting for a moment it wouldn’t work, there had been a little exclamation mark over the wifi symbol, now it showed perfect connection.

Ash stared at the screen a second longer, and then finally looked up at Eiji. Eiji was staring at the phone too, even though from that angle he wouldn’t be able to see the screen.

“It’s working?” Eiji asked, he didn’t need to clarify what.

“Yeah.”

They looked at each other for a moment. Eiji, who had been kneeling, shifted to sit cross–legged.

“It’s working,” Eiji repeated, sounding surprised, and, Ash thought, a little awed. Wide brown eyes focused on Ash. “It’s – it’s broken. I didn’t believe him when he told me, I mean, I didn’t think he would come all this way to lie to me, he can’t _lie_ , but I thought – I don’t know – “ Eiji paused, he shook his head, like he was trying to clear it, Ash waited. “I’m sorry, I’m not making sense.” He took a breath, and then tried again. “My father was here.”

Ash looked at him in surprise, then he remembered the unknown voice he had heard earlier. So he hadn’t been dreaming.

“He came because the Queen felt it when it happened. She didn’t think it could, she hadn’t foreseen it _would_ happen but it did, _you_ did it.” Eiji said, and he wasn’t looking at Ash, he looked off to the side, it was like he was thinking out loud more than talking to Ash in that moment. When he paused his gaze focused back on Ash. “She didn’t think anyone would put themselves in danger for me, she didn’t – _doesn’t_ understand what it’s like when you fall in – “ Eiji broke off, blushing, and quickly ploughed on, as if Ash would forget what he had almost said if he spoke fast enough. “You put yourself in danger for me, you were willing to die for me, and it was that, that act of selflessness that did it. You broke the curse. I can go back now, I can see my family.”

They gazed at each other as Eiji fell silent. In his hand Ash held proof that _something_ had happened, something had changed. Ash’s thoughts swirled, it was a lot to take in. Ash didn’t completely know the ramifications of what had happened, magic wasn’t his area of expertise, but if he had helped Eiji, then he was glad. Ash hadn’t thought at all about what might happen because of what he had done, he had been too concerned with Eiji’s safety. But, the fact that it was an act of love that had broken Eiji’s curse sounded right. It was like something out of a fairy tale.

He knew he was focusing on the wrong thing again. But the first thing that came out of his mouth was, “Is that what you want to do? To go see your family?”

Eiji opened his mouth to reply, and then closed it. He looked troubled, and then he shook his head. “No. I mean, yes, but – “ He made a little noise of frustration, then looked at Ash with determination. “I want to stay with you.” He said firmly. “Wherever you go, that’s where I’ll go too. I’m not leaving you.”

It wasn’t what Ash had meant, well, not entirely what he meant. He hadn’t asked properly, obviously. He was asking more if Eiji wanted them to go to Japan. Thinking about it, it would be a great place for Ash to hide, he needed to leave the country, preferably the continent anyway, and if they could visit Eiji’s family now, then it was two birds with one stone.

Ash smiled slowly, stupidly happy by how much conviction there was behind Eiji’s words, the look in his eyes. He was willing to wait, even though he had already waited years to see his family again, he would wait with Ash, for Ash. It wouldn’t be fair to ask that of him, especially when Ash knew what it was to be separated from family.

“Well, that’s good, because I was thinking of going to Japan.” He saw the expression on Eiji’s face change. “You said we should go someday, isn’t that why you’ve been teaching me Japanese?”

There were several emotions moving across Eiji’s face in that moment, his eyes were bright, and he smiled too. “Yes.” And then, like he had just remembered. “Your brother?”

Right. Ash quickly looked through his messages; they were from Alex and Shorter. Ash felt the tension in his shoulders ease as he read them. They had managed to get Griffin away from Golzine’s men, some of his boys were injured, but none of them had died, Ash sighed in relief. They had taken him to a hideout, and that’s where they were currently. Ash explained all this to Eiji, who looked similarly relieved.

“Okay,” Ash said after a moment, reworking the plan in his head. “Here’s what we do.” Breakfast grew cold as Ash looked up flights, Eiji bringing him paper and pen to write down the details as he planned out their route and coordinated times. He replied to the messages sent to him, and together with Alex and Shorter, they decided on what to do next. They would meet with Griffin as previously arranged, and from there they would bring Eiji home.

It took a little while to confirm their flights, Ash double checking the times worked for everyone involved, but when that was done he felt better. Physically he was still exhausted, and he still worried something would go wrong, but working on a plan helped ease his anxiety. With that done, finally, he could eat.

Half way through breakfast, Alba called. Ash quickly picked up, glad to hear her voice.

“ _Hi Ash_.” He could practically hear the smile in her voice; it made him smile too.

“Long time no see.”

Soft laughter. “ _So, is your offer for help still good?_ ”

“Of course.”

More planning, this time Eiji writing down all the information as Ash looked over his shoulder and coordinated their exit from the country. It would be a bit trickier to move Alba and her family, but Ash had spent a lot of time thinking about it, the addition of her brother was a bit of a hiccup, but Ash was nothing if not excellent under pressure.

When that was done, Alba lectured him on the proper care of his injuries.

Ash rolled his eyes.

“ _Make sure you see a doctor, and don’t you roll your eyes at me_.”

Eiji laughed, Ash grinned.

“I promise, I’ll be careful,” Ash said.

The call ended, Ash wolfed down his food before anything else could interrupt him, Eiji eating with similar quickness.

There wasn’t time to take a proper shower, not with the care that Ash would need to take with his stitches. In Eiji’s crammed little bathroom Ash sat on the lid of the toilet and Eiji sat on the lip of the bathtub as he helped clean Ash up. He ran a warm washcloth over his skin, careful to avoid the site of Ash’s stitches. Eiji’s touch was so gentle and warm; it made Ash want to touch him back. The soft look in Eiji’s eyes as he ran careful fingers over bruises and changed his bandages made Ash’s heart ache.

He tugged on Eiji’s sleeve when he made to stand up, and then pulled him closer, kissing Eiji’s warm startled mouth. Eiji kissed him back, softly, and with feeling that made Ash’s chest feel tight. Kissing him was like drinking fresh water, satisfying a deep need, and reviving Ash. Drawing back, Eiji moved only enough to press his forehead to Ash’s. They breathed together for a moment, both of them savouring the closeness, needing that moment more than they had realized.

Despite everything, they were okay. They were together, and they both planned to keep it that way. There were still immanent threats looming over them, but they had made it this far together, they could go a little further.

Asami came later when they were gathering their things. Ash was wearing Eiji’s clothes, it made him think of the only other time he had done that, he was sorely tempted to let the memories of that night - last night - come back to him then, but it wasn’t the time to dwell on them. He let himself enjoy Eiji’s scent for a few seconds, and then firmly pushed that desire away.

“Are you leaving?” Asami asked, when Eiji called for her to come in.

“Yes,” Eiji said, zipping up his bag. “How are things?”

Asami looked troubled. “The beach house burned down, there’s nothing left.” Ash and Eiji looked at her in surprise. Ash had thought only some damage would be done; it never occurred to him it might be that severe. “That’s making it hard for the police to track down who’s responsible, and who’s missing from the household. The whole town knows something shady was happening there, but they don’t know what yet. Everyone’s talking about it.” She looked reluctant but continued to say, “I think it’s good you’re leaving now.”

Ash nodded. The police would eventually figure out Golzine was involved. Interpol would be brought in, and soon. Ash needed to leave before they came. They were the ones who would know to connect the dots between Golzine and Ash.

The town was small, meaning it would harder to hide. It was tourist season though, and after what happened many of them were leaving that day. Ash and Eiji had to leave with them in order not to stand out.

“I’ll drive you to the station.” Asami said when she heard they were taking a bus out. She wouldn’t listen to their protests, and stayed with them until they were ready to head out.

Eiji paused by the door as they were leaving, his arm around Ash. He looked around his small apartment one last time, his expression hard to read, and then turned away. Ash wanted to ask him if he was okay. Despite the fact that Eiji hadn’t chosen to live there, it had still been his home for years. He must feel something about leaving after all that time. But maybe it wasn’t the right time to bring it up.

They followed Asami out and got into her car. There were notably more police around then there had been the other day. Ash felt the tension in the car rise as they drove passed the blue and white cars. Streets had been blocked off, and they had to detour to get to the bus station. They hadn’t told Asami where they were headed, and she didn’t ask, saving them from having to apologize for not wanting to give her that information, just in case.

The station was crowded, as Ash had predicted, many people were leaving the town en masse. There was also a good deal of police roaming around. Ash put on the baseball cap he had borrowed from Eiji and the glasses Asami had given him. Thankfully they didn’t have much to take with them. Eiji was carrying Ash’s bag as well as a bag of his own, and that was all they had. Asami stepped out of the car to see them off. She pulled Eiji into a firm embrace speaking quietly and in Japanese. Eiji hugged her back hard, his eyes bright.

“Call me, okay?” She said, stepping back, smiling through tears that didn’t fall. “Now that you can.”

Eiji was smiling too, “I will.” He said. “Thank you, Asami-san, for everything.”

Asami waved that away, and then turned to Ash. “Take care of him.”

“I will.”

She nodded. “Take care of yourself too.”

Ash smiled. “Thank you.”

“It was good to meet you.” She looked between both of them. “Be safe.” Then she glanced quickly at the police who stood by the entrance of the station. “I’ll hang around for a little while, okay?”

They nodded. There wasn’t much she could do if anything did happen, but Ash had a feeling arguing with her would be pointless. Instead they thanked her again, and turned to go into the station.

Not wanting to draw attention to themselves, Ash refused Eiji’s help to walk. It meant they went a little slower, but he ignored his protesting muscles and injuries and walked without any outward sign of pain.

Luckily, their bus was already in the station, and they could simply board. Because they were only going to the city, they needed only to pay the fare and get on. Eiji put their things in the overheard compartment and then sat next to Ash. The bus was only partly filled when they got on, but soon after people quickly poured in.

Finally every seat was taken, and there was only a minute left before the bus was scheduled to leave. The driver sat in their seat fiddling with the adjustments, and then speaking over the PA to announce they would leave soon, listing the major stops as well as the final destination. Ash began to relax, it seemed they were in the clear.

Just as they were about to pull out of the station, they stopped. Ash looked out the window to see two officers flagging down the bus. He felt his stomach clench and his heartbeat pick up. Even Eiji’s warm hand on his arm didn’t comfort him as much as it usually did.

The doors opened, one of the officers came on while the other stayed by the door. If anything happened now, Ash didn’t see how he could get out of it.

The man walked down the aisle looking this way and that. He moved slowly looking through the rows of people. There was no explanation given, but Ash was sure he was looking for him.

Ash felt his heart sink. After all that, after everything, it was local police who would catch him. It would almost be funny, if it didn’t also feel like the end of the line, the end of everything.

Eiji’s hand on him tightened. Ash sat still looking straight ahead.

He wouldn’t struggle, for Eiji’s sake. He didn’t want to frighten him, or cause him more trouble than he already had. He would go quietly. After all, he was a criminal, and it wasn’t like he didn’t deserve to be locked away. He took a deep breath.

The man was now only a couple of rows in front of them.

“Ash,” Eiji said quietly, barely contained panic in his voice.

Ash shook his head, but didn’t say anything. What could he say? Apologizes wouldn’t make things better, and he had no excuses to offer. He didn’t want to give those to Eiji anyway, not as his parting words. As for everything else, surely Eiji knew how he felt, and there were hardly words to express what Eiji meant to him anyway.

The officer stopped in front of them. He peered into their aisle, and they both looked up. Ash looked steadily back when the officer’s gaze landed on him, feeling as though his sentence had been handed down, his time as a free man was up.

It seemed incredibly unfair; incredibly cruel to have the future he had hoped for snatched away in the moment before it came true. Like having an acquittal overturned and being sentenced to death row instead. But, maybe it had been worth it. He had met Eiji. They had spent time together, helped each other, and brought light back into each other’s lives, maybe it was all worth it, simply for Eiji.

A second later, the officer blinked at him, and then turned away. He kept going down the aisle.

Neither Ash nor Eiji moved, they didn’t breathe. Eiji’s grip on him was painful, but they didn’t dare stir in case it attracted the attention of the police officer.

What was happening?

About half a minute later they heard a soft exclamation, followed by, “ _There it is!_ ” and heard the footsteps of the officer come back, quickly this time. He was tucking something into his pocket and smiling as he walked back up the aisle. When he got to the front of the bus he turned back, “Sorry about the delay!” He called. “Have a safe trip!” Then he left.

The driver waved to the policemen out the window. He put the bus into drive, and pulled out of the station.

Ash and Eiji exhaled at the same time. Eiji let go of his arm, gently running his thumb over the reddened skin. They looked at each other in stunned disbelief. Then, they both started laughing. It was nervous almost hysterical laughter that they smothered into their hands. They shook with laughter and with left over nerves, Ash felt almost giddy with relief. Suddenly everything he had been thinking felt ridiculous and melodramatic. He couldn’t believe just a minute ago he had been ready to give up everything; he had been resigned to it. Now that it was his again, held firmly in his grasp, he felt more than ever he never wanted to let it go.

As their laughter subsided, they pressed their foreheads together. They were both still shaky, Eiji had cried with laughter, and with his good hand Ash brushed away his tears. They smiled at each other.

From there it was smooth sailing. There were no more false alarms. When they got to the city, they took a taxi to the airport, their passports and tickets going through without incident. They had two hours until their flight that they spent sitting in a sports bar in the airport.

Neither of them was drinking anything remotely alcoholic, but they both felt drunk. Maybe it was the painkillers, or the lack of sleep, or the warm way Eiji looked at him, but Ash felt light headed. He felt like he didn’t need an airplane at all, like he needed only to step outside and fly.

He said something to that effect to Eiji as the other young man took a sip of his ice coffee. Eiji coughed, laughing, and turned bright red.

Later, they were seated on the plane, taking off smoothly. From here they would fly out directly to England where they would meet Griffin, and from there they would go to Japan.

As Ash settled into his seat, leaning back now that he could, he felt the magnitude of everything he had been through. And Ash felt, finally, that it was all over. He could finally exhale.

“What’s wrong?”

Ash turned his head; Eiji was looking at him in concern, his brown eyes wide and worried. Ash blinked, realizing he had been crying. Eiji reached over and brushed gentle fingers over his cheeks. Ash smiled at him, feeling his heart fill with emotion.

“When we met,” Ash said. “You asked me if I believe in fate.” Eiji was leaning toward him; he was very close. “I don’t know if I do, but if it was our fate to meet, then I’m glad.”

Eiji smiled too, soft and fond. “I feel the same way.”

Slowly, Eiji closed the distance between them. Infinitely affectionate, Eiji’s kiss filled Ash with feeling. Now finally, _finally_ , he could be happy.

 

*

**_Two years later_ **

Shorter had never been to Japan before. He had never had any reason to go, before.

The flight had been long and tiring. Sitting for that long on a plane was uncomfortable, and painful. He still felt stiff as he walked down the street, hands grasping the straps of his bag.

Not caring if he made a spectacle of himself, Shorter looked around open mouthed. It was probably stupid, but the thought that kept coming back to him was: _It looks just like in anime_.

And it did. The landscape was the same, the cityscape, the way the sidewalks and streets were designed, how narrow they were, the architecture, the shape of the cars, the overpasses, it all liked like how it was presented in the anime he had watched as a kid. It was kind of a trip.

Looking around was a pleasant momentary distraction from why he had come in the first place. When he looked down at his phone, showing him his destination was only a minute away; he felt a flutter in his stomach. It was strange to admit to himself, but Shorter was nervous.  

Shorter stopped in front of a McDonald’s. They had agreed to meet here, somewhere easy for him to find, recognizable, and easy to ask about if he got lost. It was almost surreal to walk into a McDonald’s on the other side of the world, having it look exactly the same, and still distinctly Japanese.

They were very easy to spot. Shorter took only a second to look around the room before his eyes landed on the only blonde head on the first floor. In the corner, in plain view of the entrance, sat Ash and Eiji. Shorter felt a resurgence of butterflies in his stomach, along with an acute happiness that made his heart feel too big for his chest. He hurried over.

Ash’s back was to him, and so Eiji spotted him first. He had seen Eiji before, they had talked when he had FaceTimed with Ash, and Eiji grinned when he saw him. He said something to Ash, nodding his chin at Shorter, and Ash turned quickly in his seat.

It had been almost two years since Shorter had last seen Ash; it felt like a dream to finally see him again, here of all places.

Ash got up, fluidly, his enviable grace obviously still intact, and laughing, he threw himself into Shorter’s arms. They were both laughing, Shorter unabashedly crying too as he hugged his friend hard to him.

“Jesus, it’s been too long.”

They finally pulled back, looking at each other, eyes bright. They both wiped at their eyes, not even trying to pretend they hadn’t been crying. Eiji was standing too, and when Shorter opened his arms to him, Eiji didn’t hesitate to hug him.

When they finally sat down, Ash and Eiji sat across from Shorter. It was funny, he had seen them both before, talked to them in the two years since Ash had been spirited away, but it was something else entirely to see him again in person.

“How the hell have you been?”

Ash laughed. He told him, most of what he said Shorter knew already, but didn’t mind hearing again. They were living there in Kyoto now. Eiji worked as a photographer, and Ash worked from home. They had a house too, on the edges of the city, which Shorter had seen during their chats, but he was excited to see up close.

“How’s your hand?” Shorter asked.

Ash smiled a little ruefully. “The same, really.” He held out his right hand, clenching and unclenching his fist. When he relaxed it, it shook a little. “The nerves were pretty badly damaged, and I didn’t get it looked at right away so,” Ash shrugged. There was no regret in his tone; it obviously didn’t matter to him that his one hand, which had been so dexterous before, was now shaky at best.

“What about you?” Eiji asked, “How is everyone in New York?”

Shorter sighed a little. “Well,” he started.

They talked for a long while. As Shorter told them about things, eventually moving on to the state of his own family, Eiji offered to get them food. When he was gone, Shorter looked over to make sure he was out of earshot and then completely dropped his previous conversational thread to smirk at Ash knowingly.

“So.” He said.

Ash raised his eyebrows at him. He had a look that told Shorter he knew exactly what his game was but that he wouldn’t play. Shorter grinned. “Come on,” he wheedled. “You’re not going to tell me? Nothing? You’re living with your cute Japanese boyfriend and you’re not gonna at least give me _one_ detail – “

Ash turned a faint pink, probably only noticeable because Shorter had known him for years.

“What do you want to hear anyway?” Ash asked; sounding annoyed. “Our favourite positions? Don’t be a perv.”

Shorter laughed, throwing back his head, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. More colour came into Ash’s face, Shorter grinned at him again. “No, that’s not what I meant, but since you brought it up…”

Teasing Ash was just like old times. It was a bit like provoking a wild animal, but one that ultimately cared about you, and would always bare its teeth, but never bite.

When Eiji came back, tray loaded with food, they ate. They were probably the loudest on that floor, and definitely the most noticeable, but they didn’t care. They ate and laughed, Ash and Eiji sharing their mundane every day stories that were still extremely novel to Shorter, and he told them his own stories in turn.

“How’s your brother?” Shorter asked through a mouthful of fries.

“Good. He loves living in the country.”

“Well, who wouldn’t when they’ve also got their pretty girlfriend living with them.”

Ash smiled a little, taking a drink. Shorter smiled too. He had heard about Alba, brave friend of Ash’s who had helped him escape from Golzine. She had gone to visit Ash on the little farm Griffin had in the English countryside, and now she lived there. It was a lovely arrangement for Griffin who got a girlfriend and a nurse who could help him with his prosthetic all in one.

When they finished eating Shorter leaned his chin in his head looking at Eiji.

“What?” Eiji asked after a beat.

“Nothing,” Shorter said, smiling. “It’s just, you’re cuter in person.”

Eiji blushed, but he didn’t fluster. “Likewise.”

“Hey.” Ash said, frowning at them.

Shorter and Eiji laughed. Eiji put out his hand, and Ash took. He smiled at Ash, running his thumb over the back of Ash’s hand soothingly. He said something quietly to Ash in Japanese that Shorter didn’t quite catch. Leaning in; almost speaking in his ear. The look Ash gave him after that was one Shorter had never seen before. It almost made him want to look away, like he had walked in on a private moment.

Eiji turned back to Shorter. “Shall we?” He said. “We have mochi at home we want to try.”

They got up, cleaning up their spot, and then made their way out.

It was evening now, the air a little cool, but not enough to hurry their steps. The streets were still busy, though not as much as before, and it was nice to step out into the clear night sky.

Though, it was strange to be there with Ash and Eiji. To see the peace of their lives, and the place they lived in, like visiting another planet, another world where things were profoundly different.

But, it was also incredibly wonderful. When Ash had disappeared Shorter had panicked. He had been restless and agitated for weeks, and to think that everything they went through would lead to this moment. Where Ash, happy and content walked untroubled beside him, comfortable in his new life, it was fitting. Shorter didn’t know anyone else who so completely deserved to have the peace of an ordinary life like Ash did. Looking at Ash, as he walked with his hand in Eiji’s, seeing the relaxed set of his shoulders, Shorter felt that peace too.

“That’s our bus! Run!” Eiji pointed, and all three of them ran flat out.

Laughing and breathless, they ran under the clear night sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second longest thing I've ever written!!!! It's not even that long of a fic, tbh, but it's so crazy to me!! I feel like I learned a lot writing this, and I had fun. 
> 
> I'm anxious about the ending. I'm also sad and relieved. Finishing a long project like this is always bittersweet. I hope you enjoyed this weird ride, thanks for sticking around. =) 
> 
> Let me know what you thought, and thanks again!!! <3333


End file.
